


The Fate of Every Snowflake is to Melt

by ColdFan



Series: Captain Cold Meets His Match [1]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Battle of Wits, Earth 2 Harry Wells sticks around indefinitely, F/M, Hartley and Caitlin are in one chapter each, Leonard Snart is a criminal badass, Lewis Snart’s A+ parenting, Like really slow, Mick and Lisa are not in all chapters but tend to steal all their scenes, Romance, Slow Burn, and for reasons that will become clear in Part 2 of this story Firestorm doesn’t exist, at least not in the way it does on the Arrowverse shows, author’s attempts at humour, author’s attempts at punning, but it gets resolved quickly and everything works out well for the animal, but sometimes he just wants to joke around, except Flashpoint Savitar Rip recruiting the Legends in early 2016 and HR never happen, long chapters, lots and lots of banter, mostly Len’s POV with some chapters OFC’s POV, not sure how fluffy this fluff really is, occasional language and a couple of scenes of canon typical violence, oh and banter, one scene of animal abuse, or be understood and have adult conversations, references to past child abuse and past violent crimes, some angst but not too much, sticks mostly to canon including timelines, textured fluff?, the spirit of Mick insisted on writing all his own lines so he gets a writing credit, will mention this again at the beginning of relevant chapter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-03-21
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:02:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 78,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22741450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ColdFan/pseuds/ColdFan
Summary: The hero minded do-gooders of Central City are lucky that Leonard Snart has a sense of humour and enjoys a challenge. Otherwise he might just lose his patience. Every time another local newscast laments the latest spike in crime and / or the general decline of humanity, Len finds himself having to deal with yet another goody-goody. Clearly the media isn’t paying enough attention to the really important problems.When an enigmatic ally of Barry Allen and his tiresome ‘Team Flash’ takes him to task for betraying them, Len is first annoyed, then intrigued, then frustrated…or maybe he’s confusing that with being amused, then…wait, what’s with all these peskyfeelingsanyway? Despite such irritants, Central City’s preeminent thief enters into a battle of wits with a mysterious but worthy opponent. Both end up biting off more than they’d planned. Good thing Captain Cold knows when to throw away the plan.
Relationships: Leonard Snart/Original Female Character
Series: Captain Cold Meets His Match [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1635172
Comments: 46
Kudos: 24





	1. The Game is Afoot

**Author's Note:**

> Happy International Fanworks Day 2020!!!! 
> 
> So…this is my very first fanfic that I’ve ever written, let alone posted. It’s also the first significant creative writing I’ve done since high school (long, long ago in a galaxy far, far away) and by far the longest piece of fiction of any kind I’ve ever written. It’s taken me about three and a half years (minus six months, I guess, due to a hard drive fail) to finish. I started out just writing this for myself and at some point it kind of just got away from me. I realise this story may have limited appeal because it’s not a canon ship but I hope some intrepid readers might give it a chance and end up enjoying it! 
> 
> Thanks in advance to anyone who reads part or all of this! Please let me know if you think I should add or revise any tags. The story is finished so I plan to post a chapter every second or third day. The story is in two parts. The first part is rated Mature for occasional language, a few scenes of fairly canon typical violence and mature themes. The second part will be rated Explicit. Part 1 is 13 chapters, Part 2 is 14 chapters.
> 
> Also, a very big thank you to my good friend Jorge for beta reading this entire, very long story! Also, thank you to my friends Melanie and Natasha for giving feedback on the first few chapters.
> 
> And finally, thanks to DC and Greg Berlanti et al for the characters and source material and special thanks to all the actors for their amazing portrayals of canon characters; especially Wentworth Miller, whose brilliant and nuanced interpretation of Leonard Snart / Captain Cold inspired this whole crazy thing…but the story itself is mine, for better or for worse. (:
> 
> Here goes nothing…and everything! Yay!!! (:

All things considered, Len was feeling pretty damn good about life, the universe and everything, himself included. Convincing Barry Allen to destroy all police, FBI, A.R.G.U.S. and online records of him in exchange for his help containing five dangerous meta-humans during their transport to a ‘safe’ location and then pulling the rug right out from under the whole operation at the last minute felt even better than he’d imagined it would. 

Barry Allen might be “The Flash” but he clearly wasn’t _fast_ enough to keep up with Captain Cold. Len smirked to himself at the neat irony of it all, while reflecting on the fact he hadn’t even needed to employ his mastery of absolute zero this time around. He’d outplayed Barry using his cunning mind and rather formidable acting skills alone. The kid still had a lot to learn about going head to head with a true super villain.

Even as he revelled in his latest daring feat, Len couldn’t deny he’d felt a small twinge of guilt while spelling things out for the kid as he lay sprawled on the ground before him, having been hit by one of Mardon’s lightning bolts. 

Len’s decision to save the Flash’s life by freezing Jake Simmons before he could finish Barry off with his eye plasma bursts was one he’d made in the moment, on instinct. Len pondered that decision now. He found himself having to acknowledge the surprising and somewhat annoying fact that he’d come to respect Barry Allen to a degree and was no longer sure he wanted the Flash out of the picture entirely. At the very least, he certainly kept life in Central City interesting.

It helped Len’s outlook too that his plan had worked so well the previous evening. Still, the kid had looked so stunned and dejected as Len admonished him for having been naïve enough to trust a hardened criminal, he couldn’t help but feel a small sliver of remorse. Well, remorse might be too strong a word. 

He knew he’d dealt Barry a serious blow to his confidence as well as a logistical defeat, and both those things were great strategic victories for Len and his Rogues. 

He and Lisa had celebrated into the wee hours after it all went down by kicking back together at their favourite bar, Saints and Sinners. They’d stayed out late eating, drinking and chatting. They were in high spirits and it was fun to relive the successes of the night together. 

It was the first time since Lisa had returned to Central that they’d just hung out and relaxed together and Len secretly cherished the time spent re-bonding with his little sister. She’d been absent from his life for too long before her return, having taken off on a cross-country road trip a few years back with hardly any notice. 

Len had descended into a serious funk while she was gone but he’d started feeling better than ever lately, now that she was back and, along with Mick, was helping him show the Flash who Central City really belonged to.

Len thought he might have detected a hint of guilt in his sister as well at one point the previous evening when she mentioned the look on Cisco Ramon’s face as everything started going to hell with his containment system. He reflected upon that now and how he needed to keep an eye on that particular flirtation of Lisa’s. Cisco seemed like a good kid but he was on the wrong side of things and getting too caught up in such a dalliance could spell trouble. 

Even though both Len and Lisa were long past their wild youth days when they experimented with all sorts of people and relationships, Len still felt an innate need to keep at least half an eye out for possible dangers to Lisa’s sometimes fragile heart. He’d been doing it for so long it was first, rather than second nature to him. He was pretty sure that, at this point, Lisa had mastered the art of staying out of most entanglements that wouldn’t pan out or be good for her but he still preferred not to take any chances.

He was kicking back at one of his many safe houses in Central, a variety of places he maintained to be able to disappear when necessary while carrying out jobs all over the city. This one was a reasonably comfortable studio space with a large, utilitarian open concept kitchen and living area and a good size space for planning jobs. Len liked coming to this particular safe house when he had time to relax or when he just wanted to chill a bit in the city.

He’d been lounging on a comfy couch, relaxing in a casual long-sleeved black shirt and black jeans, with his black booted feet resting on the back of the couch. He had just swung his feet down and launched himself toward the fridge for a drink when he heard a very soft sound, as if the door to the studio had been grazed by the gentlest breeze. 

His head snapped toward the door and Len suddenly experienced the highly unusual sensation of being startled…startled to the point of actually registering alarm on his face, a soft but sharp, “What the…!” escaping his lips. 

Standing facing him, silent but already several paces into the room, was one of the Flash’s associates; not a member of his core team but one of the various peripheral do-gooders who seemed to buzz around Barry Allen like flies on a hot day at the dog park. 

Len had met this one before briefly on a few occasions and had indulged in some of his signature sarcastically polite small talk with her but he hadn’t quite figured out how she fit into the extended Flash family yet. 

She seemed more low-key and reserved than most of Barry’s other allies, never giving away much; the kind of person who could blend into the edges of a room and observe everything without being noticed…unless she wanted to be.

Now she stood facing him in one of his own safe houses, perfectly still while seeming to consider his carefully controlled but obviously startled demeanour. He noticed a mildly satisfied expression creep over her features and then disappear as quickly as it had appeared. 

“Well if it isn’t the infamous Leonard Snart, a.k.a. Captain Cold.” 

His mysterious visitor addressed Len in a strong and clear voice but with a light, almost tongue-in-cheek cadence. 

“I do hope I’m not intruding too much on you, dropping by unannounced like this.”

Len relaxed ever so slightly at the somewhat playful tone of his utterly unexpected guest but he was still tense as a cat balanced on a hot hydro wire and every bit as nonplussed too. How the hell had this woman just waltzed right in on him like this? He was sure he’d reset the alarm and triple locked the door behind him when he came in. 

He seldom found himself without his cold gun on his person these days, either in his hand or holstered at his thigh. But this was one of those rare occasions when he’d set it down on a worktable so he could relax on the couch for a while so he wasn’t currently in easy reach of his preferred weapon. 

Len did not like this situation; not one little bit. 

He was nothing if not a smooth talker though, so he opted to play things cool, at least until he figured out what the hell was going on. 

When he spoke, his voice was low and deliberate.

“It’s Cold… _just_ Cold. And that will depend on why you’re here Ms.…Rowan isn’t it?” 

Len shot her an intense glare, not altogether threatening but not entirely lacking in pointed challenge either. 

Rowan nodded almost imperceptibly and quickly scanned the room, clearly noting the location of Len’s cold gun and slowly walking forward, positioning herself closer to being between Len and his gun. Though Len noticed she stopped short of advancing far enough to be closer to it than to him, seemingly conscious of not wanting him to feel imminently threatened. 

“Don’t worry _Cold_. I don’t plan on making these house calls a habit. I just needed to speak with you after the rather… _eventful_ time I hear you all had last night.”

Len tensed again and started to think about making a move for his cold gun. This was already sounding less like it would be a pleasant conversation and he wanted the option of cutting it short if it got to the point he wanted out of it in a hurry. 

“I won’t take up too much of your time but you _will_ want to listen very carefully to what I’m about to say and understand that I mean _every_ word of it.” 

Len noted the steely expression Rowan was directing at him as she spoke and the corresponding no-nonsense tone of her voice. Playful sure hadn’t lasted long. 

“Okay, so you’ve got my attention _Flashling_.” 

Len indulged in his most sensuous drawl, fixing Rowan with a somewhat amused look. He used the dismissive nickname to try and lessen the tension, however, from the look that burned across Rowan’s face, he decided his attempt at levity had been a mistake. 

In a more serious tone accompanied by another intense glare, he demanded, “What exactly is it you’ve come all this way to say to me?”

Rowan moved closer again to where Len was standing, slowly and deliberately. He almost felt he was being stalked as she smoothly and soundlessly approached him. Despite the situation, he couldn’t help but notice, not for the first time, she had exceptionally expressive eyes. And yet, unusually for Len, he was currently finding them very hard to read.

She flicked those eyes away from him, quickly scanning the room again, then returned her gaze to Len, looking so intently at him he felt she was somehow gazing into his soul. This was also an acutely unfamiliar feeling for him, as Len was usually the one shooting people soul revealing gazes, if anyone was. 

“I have to say that was a pretty cheap trick you pulled on Barry last night. I mean I get the whole ‘I’m a criminal, I lie, I rob, I hurt people’ deal but that was still pretty low, even for you.” 

‘There it was,’ thought Len. Why couldn’t the universe just once let him enjoy a success without some annoying interruption or pesky do-gooder interfering out of some misplaced sense of cosmic justice or other such vague moral illusion? Len knew better than to believe there was some universal cut and dried right and wrong in this world and it irked him no end when people pontificated at him about how bad he’d been on any given occasion. 

In spite of his irritation he took a deep breath and resolved to hear Rowan out before showing her the door. He had to give her props for getting this far he supposed. Clearly she was just upset he’d put one over on one of her friends and allies. 

Fair enough. Len did value loyalty and he had to admit she’d shown some guts walking in on him alone like she had. 

Simultaneously, he wondered at the fact that he suddenly felt like he was being scolded by a particularly tough grade school teacher. Len had to figuratively give his head a shake. He decided to keep playing things with a hint of levity, for his own reassurance if for no other reason. 

“Oh, I don’t know. I like to think I did our little friend Barry a favour, reminding him how _dangerous_ it is to trust diehard crooks like me. He keeps my edge sharp, I thought it only fair that I should extend the same courtesy to him.” 

Len smirked and Rowan shot him a sceptical, unimpressed look. Then her eyes flicked down for a moment. When she raised them to meet Len’s again there was still anger there but they appeared to him more weary and sad than anything else. 

“All sarcastic rationalising aside, Barry’s likely going to have to spend a lot more time now dealing with the metas you released back into society…and that will prevent him from being able to focus on some of the larger challenges coming down the line. And that’s a problem for those of us who actually care about other people, this city and the world, so…” 

Rowan paused and regarded Len impassively. He sensed she had just majorly glossed over all the reasons she was so angry with him but he didn’t have time to question her before she continued.

“…I’ve given you the better part of a day to enjoy your clever little coup. And while I can’t undo or fix the fact that the metas got loose, or bring back Jake Simmons or the four people who died on the A.R.G.U.S. plane Mardon took down,” Len involuntarily flicked his eyes downward for a moment, “I regret to inform you that Barry didn’t actually succeed in destroying all your police records after all.” 

Len arched an eyebrow at her words and a menacing look blazed across his face. 

“Oh, don’t worry. Barry didn’t betray you. That’s not _his_ style. He fully believes he destroyed everything and he’s thoroughly beating himself up over all of that as we speak, and will continue to do so indefinitely, I’m sure. But…as much as I got a kick out of the rather heady idea of ‘The Flash’ and ‘Captain Cold’ teaming up to save the world, I’ve been around the block a few too many times not to plan for contingencies. So when Barry asked me for an untraceable program that could delete all your records ‘ _in a flash_ ’, shall we say, I took the liberty of adding in a little extra command to simultaneously forward everything to my own private account without Barry knowing.” 

Len grimaced at the terrible pun. Was that really how bad he sounded when indulging in them? Rowan paused and regarded Len so she could gauge his reactions. He was looking more and more displeased. 

She continued, “So all those records you so cleverly got Barry to delete; I’ll just be holding onto those for now.” 

Rowan looked Len straight in the eyes with as defiant an expression on her face as he’d yet seen there. 

“Sorry to ruin your rather perfect crime,” her slight smirk, confident tone and glinting eyes indicating the degree to which she was really not sorry, at _all_. “On the bright side for you, I didn’t have time to grab much of the physical evidence law enforcement had on you. Only a few, shall we say, rather interesting items. So you at least succeeded in getting rid of most of that. I guess that counts as a kind of…consolation prize.” 

Her smirk grew until she was almost smiling at Len, her features then settling back into a rather satisfied mien, accompanied by a subtle tilt of her head. “I may be as likely to fall for your many charms as anyone else but, believe me, deep down I do understand what you are and I totally expect you to act like it.”

Len had been listening intently to Rowan as she spoke and he could feel his heart beat quickening with each passing second, his blood starting to run hot and then boil in his veins, belying the whole cold-blooded persona thing he had going. 

In spite of the fact that Rowan was not overly smug in her tone and spoke in a fairly even, matter-of-fact way, Len experienced a few moments of genuine anger as he realised the cunning scheme he’d been so proud of pulling off just minutes ago had been compromised by a player he hadn’t even recognised as having been on the board. 

Thinking back, Len had actually enjoyed his few interactions with this particular Flashling in the past; more than with most of the other do-gooders who generally hung around the insufferably self-righteous Barry Allen. She’d met Len’s cocky and at times snarky humour with witty retorts of her own and had otherwise shown him a restraint that he’d interpreted as a possible delay of judgement, like she was observing him before coming to any hard and fast conclusions about him. 

After a lifetime of being judged negatively, mostly before being given half a chance, Len always appreciated the few people he came across who seemed to give him the benefit of the doubt...at least until he, sometimes unwittingly, ended up screwing them over. 

A mild hint of regret streaked through his mind as Len realised he’d probably ruined his chances of building on his brief little fun repartees with Rowan, now that he’d royally screwed over the Flash and his team. 

She was clearly reacting as a loyal friend to them all. Based on her knowledge of everything that had gone down the previous night, it seemed she’d already been given a detailed play-by-play, which suggested she was pretty close to them. Len also realised Rowan must be in on the fact that he’d discovered the Flash’s identity by her use of his proper name. 

As he endeavoured to remain outwardly calm, Len let his eyes bore into Rowan’s as she stood facing him. He kept them steady on her, even as he scanned the room with his mind’s eye, mentally measuring the paces to his cold gun and calculating the seconds it would take him to get to it and turn it on this suddenly very unwelcome intruder. 

There was a moment when Len and Rowan both sensed the other tense and the space between them became charged with what felt like a bolt of electric energy. 

Then the kinetic movement erupted and, in an instant, they were both lunging toward the cold gun situated on one of the nearby worktables, Len seeming to flow through the space in no time, smooth like a fast moving river of molten steel; but it was Rowan who got the gun. 

She too seemed to glide across the floor, moving like a cheetah in what seemed like one uninterrupted stride and then, rather acrobatically, she flew across the table, grabbing the gun as she did so, easily landing on her feet and immediately leveling it squarely at Len, just as he reached the now bare table top. 

The familiar sound of the gun activating brought Len to a hard stop as he gaped at the now weaponised Rowan. 

‘Shit!’ Len thought to himself. This was suddenly so much worse than it had seemed just moments ago. 

Rowan held the cold gun steady and aimed it directly at Len’s heart. Her gaze had regained that steely quality it had held before and she no longer looked the least bit amused. 

“Don’t think I don’t know how to use this Cold. I helped Cisco with the original design.” She glanced down at the gun, seeming to consider it. “I see you’ve made some adjustments. Still essentially works the same though…doesn’t it?” 

Len swallowed and considered his next move. Any anger he’d felt moments earlier he relegated to the back burner of his mind in favour of remaining calm and sharp in this new, potentially dangerous, situation. 

He officially ceased to consider Rowan’s presence and revelations an irritating annoyance and upgraded her threat level to exceptional. 

In spite of the tenseness of the situation, Len couldn’t help but notice that a small part of him was impressed. Countless adversaries who were a lot bigger and scarier looking than Rowan had tried to go toe to toe with him over the years but very few had ever gotten to the point of actually threatening his life. He couldn’t stifle an unbidden question in his head; would Rowan ever consider signing up as a Rogue? 

He tried to ignore such absurd musings, but then thought better of it and decided to use his admiration of Rowan’s actions to his advantage, if he could. Len let his expression soften into a restrained smirk with a good dose of not entirely dishonest bravado mixed in. 

“Well, well, well…turns out I’m not the only one to have acquired some powerful allies recently. I wonder if our good friend Barry even knows who he has on his side and what they’re all up to…and capable of.” 

Len was gambling, he knew, but he preferred a bold approach when cornered to retreating into defensive mode any day of the week. He was never one to back down from a confrontation, outside of his childhood home situation that is, which had been all about moment-to-moment survival. He’d learned early that, outside of dealing with his father, things usually ended better for him when he stood up for himself than when he allowed others to intimidate him. 

Aside from an almost imperceptible flinch that Len couldn’t be sure he hadn’t imagined, Rowan’s gaze remained steady and didn’t soften. 

She did take a small step back from him and shift her stance into a more defensive one, seeming to anticipate a possible attempt on his part to disarm her. That wasn’t the play Len was aiming for, but he was glad she at least considered him enough of a physical threat that she would anticipate and guard against it.

“Perhaps I should have clarified before. I’ve taken a page from your book and if anything happens to me all your files will automatically be uploaded to every law enforcement agency on the continent.” Rowan shot Len a severe look. “I’d suggest you not make the mistake of underestimating me. I’m pretty sure you would come to regret it.”

Len could actually believe that. Everything about the way Rowan conducted herself told him she was more dangerous than she appeared, rather than less so. She was calculating and economical in her words and actions, only saying and doing what was necessary to accomplish her goals. 

Len knew from years of experience that it was always the calmer, quieter ones you had to really watch out for because they didn’t telecast their capabilities and plans the way mouthy hotheads did. Len was the same after all, never tipping his hand…freely emanating an air of danger but never giving away his ultimate goals or strategies. 

Yes, Len could appreciate contained fury when he saw it, even if it simultaneously pissed him off that Rowan’s was currently directed at him and was interfering with his plans.

It suddenly occurred to him that, in spite of how impressive and self-assured she came across as, Rowan might genuinely be afraid of what he would do to her if he did get his hands back on his cold gun. So, somewhat ironically, he started to relax again. 

Rowan likely had no idea how strong an aversion Len had to hurting women, after years of witnessing his father first beat his mother and then attack his sister, with Len practically getting himself killed on several occasions trying to protect Lisa. 

Deep down, he hated the idea of ever becoming like his father in that way and it actually put him at a disadvantage when it came to dealing with female opponents. Luckily, Len didn’t run up against too many of those in his line of work, which tended to be male dominated. Also, women didn’t usually have it out for him, except perhaps in the sense of wanting to get cosy, which was pretty easy to avoid when he wasn’t interested so Len seldom found himself in difficult ethical positions with them. 

His recent kidnapping of Barry Allen’s team member Doctor Caitlin Snow had been an unusual play for him; one that he kind of regretted even as he was carrying it out. 

Yeah, Len could admit he’d gotten a touch carried away initially in response to the arrival of the Flash but that was partially why last night’s victory was so important. In Len’s mind, balance had been restored to the world with his foiling of the Flash’s plans by freeing the metas, so he was confident he wouldn’t do anything as rash and out of character again anytime soon. 

Rowan wasn’t in a position to know any of this though. She would have to do something truly dastardly to cause Len to actually want to hurt her, so she had been safer than she likely realised the entire time she’d been in his studio. He’d gone for his cold gun mainly because he was frustrated and annoyed and wasn’t used to being without it anymore, especially in a confrontation but, in reality, he never would have allowed himself to use it on her. 

Len was pretty sure harming him wasn’t part of Rowan’s agenda either. He’d looked into the eyes of stone cold killers before, occasionally while looking in the mirror. Rowan’s eyes bore no resemblance to those. 

So, having regained his cool, calculating head about him, he reasoned he just needed to accept her terms for now and then figure out how to deal with this new and unexpected development after he’d gotten clear of her.

He retreated slightly and slowly leaned back against the kitchen island counter behind him while crossing his arms in front of him. He met Rowan’s hard gaze with his best attempt at a solicitous expression, aiming for a denouement of hostilities. 

“So, to recap,” Len drawled, “you’ve successfully infiltrated my hideout, overturned half my latest victory over Team Flash and now you’ve got me at the wrong end of my own cold gun. Is there anything _else_ you want to do to get back at me for besting Barry last night, or can we call it a day for now?” 

Rowan couldn’t seem to stop herself from smirking slightly at the question. 

“Don’t tempt me Cold.” 

She seemed to relax slightly and sighed. “Look, I don’t actually have an interest in locking horns with you…” 

“Could’ve fooled me,” Len interjected. 

“…and I don’t plan to get in your way if you stay out of mine. But I think the deal you made with Barry is _more_ than fair to you so I want to make sure you stick to it from now on. So, consider your files my insurance on you. You hold up your end of the bargain with no more subterfuge, betrayals or any related forms of hijinx and I make sure your files stay safely hidden and out of the way. You break the deal and anyone else gets hurt because of you or your rogues and all your records will be back in the system quicker than you can say ‘Minty Fresh’.” 

‘Cute,’ Len thought. Was that just a lucky, random guess or did Rowan actually know his favourite brand of chewing gum?

“All right,” Len flicked his eyes downward and then back up again to regard Rowan with a surprisingly flirtatious smirk. “If I agree, what happens now? You seem pretty comfortable holding me at gunpoint.” 

His eyes flicked to his cold gun and then back to Rowan. 

Rowan blinked slowly while subtly rolling her eyes and adopting a long suffering, put upon expression. 

“Far be it for me to come between a man and his…favourite weapon.” 

Rowan cast Len a sardonic glance, a reluctant mini-smirk appearing at her lips. Did Len imagine a hint of flirtation in her eyes as well? He couldn’t be sure.

“If you agree, I’ll slowly move toward the door and leave your beloved gun on the table right next to it. You’ll stay right where you are and when I leave you will lock the door behind me and not make any efforts to follow me. Then you can take whatever time you need to tend to your wounded male ego or whatever it is you big, tough criminal guys do when you’ve had to concede to someone smaller than you, particularly a woman.” 

Len snorted out a short laugh at her last comment and his smirk deepened. 

“I’ll have you know I happen to like strong women. In fact, if you ever get tired and bored of being a do-gooder hero type I could use someone like you on my Rogues team.” 

There, he’d had a chance to go there and see what her reaction would be. 

The look that animated Rowan’s features was hard to describe. Her face scrunched up in what looked more like a combination of startled bemusement and surprise than offence and horror; though there was definitely some of the latter mixed in there too. 

She smiled faintly and looked away, intoning sarcastically, “As much as I’m sure it would be a laugh a minute, that’s never going to happen.” 

‘At least this one has a sense of humour,’ thought Len. She reminded him a bit of Barry in that way. He could see how they would get along. 

Still, Rowan seemed to play faster and looser with societal rules and to be more of a free agent than Barry so if either of them could eventually be turned to the rogue side, his money was currently on Rowan. 

Now that would be a _real_ coup. It would probably never materialise, but a crook could dream. No harm in planting seeds and seeing what might grow. Really, Len was just playing around now that he’d absorbed and reconciled himself to this new deal and had determined he would live to scheme another day.

“So you agree then?” Rowan was all business again. 

“I guess I don’t have much choice if I want my files to stay out of the way, now do I?” 

“No, you don’t. I want you to say you agree though.” 

“All right, yes, I agree. You really _don’t_ trust me do you?” 

“Any reason I should?” 

Len considered that for a moment, tilting his head. “Nope. Not a one.”

“Glad we understand each other.” 

Rowan was definitely older, wiser and tougher than Barry, even if Len sensed she was probably just as much of a softie underneath it all. Well, almost as much anyway. 

Len’s emotions had run the gamut over the past few minutes but he was back to feeling reasonably good about things. Rowan could have said she was going to immediately release his files back to the cops, but she had played things differently. 

It irked him, of course, that someone he had virtually no intel on had managed all this and he hadn’t seen it coming, but he also had to admit to a kind of tingly excitement brewing within him at the same time, similar to what he’d felt when the Flash first showed up and started making life interesting again. 

He tended towards liking Rowan in spite of himself and looked forward to going head to head with her again at some point; only next time he’d be ready for her.

She fixed Len with her stern look once again and started backing away from him towards the door. As she neared it, Len decided to get in one last line. 

“Just so we’re clear Ro, may I call you Ro? I _will_ have to look into you now so I can get to know who I’m dealing with. Just professional courtesy really. I mean you already know quite a bit about me, it wouldn’t be right for me not to give you your due in terms of my… _attention_.” 

He narrowed his eyes at her as he said that last word. He hoped she would understand that she was now squarely on his radar and it might not be so easy next time to get the better of him. 

“I would expect nothing less from you Cold. I mean that is the best way to face our fears right?...with knowledge.” 

“More like know your adversaries,” Len drawled irritably, rebuffing Rowan’s not so subtle gibe that he was afraid of her. 

“Well, knock yourself out Cold.” Rowan shot Len a mischievous glance. 

Len’s face turned to one side, almost as if he’d been lightly slapped. His eyes flicked down and his eyebrows shot upward as a small, reluctant smile emerged on his lips. He could not _believe_ she had just said that…now she was even beating him at punning. Len was determined to even the score at some point.

She had reached the door of the studio and paused. “Oh, and you should be you know.” 

Len arched an eyebrow, fixing Rowan with a quizzical look. “What’s that?” 

“Afraid…at least a little.” 

And with that, an almost warmly smirking Rowan tilted her head, winked at Len and deactivated his cold gun, setting it on the table by the door. Then she was gone with the door closed in one effortless set of easy and graceful movements. 

Len immediately strode to the door, grabbed his gun and moved his hand to the doorknob to open it. Something caused him to stop though, and instead he just triple locked the door, reset the alarm and moved back into the room, easing himself onto the couch, cradling his gun against his chest, inspecting it to make sure it was all in one piece, even though he knew logically it was fine. 

He reflected that there would have been no point opening the door to spy after Rowan. She was clearly a pro and would have been long gone; and he’d had no intentions of actually trying to follow her. 

The unease that flowed through him now that the unlikely scene had finished playing out was powerful, and he had to concede she had rattled him to his core.

For the time being, Rowan was in control of something important, something he genuinely wanted to destroy for good, so she had him up against it for now. Len would see about how long that would last though. The gears of his impressive and creative brain were already turning and plans were forming to make short work of this temporary setback. 

Len smiled to himself as he imagined taking Rowan down a peg or two in the near future. He may not be exactly sure who he was up against yet, but Rowan didn’t seem to be too clear about who she was dealing with either. She’d soon learn just how clever and resourceful he could be when properly motivated. 

Len would unravel Rowan’s deal without ever having to resort to threats or violence, using sheer cunning and strategy instead. Rowan might be smart, but Len would be smarter. Afraid? Yeah right. 

If anyone had been in the room with him at that moment Len would have appeared just as calm and impassive as ever, but inwardly he was excitedly racing to meet this newest challenge that had been handed to him. 

“Bring it on Flashling!” he murmured to the now empty room. 

Before this was over, Len would show this Rowan woman what true intrigue was all about, and he planned to have a hell of a good time doing it too. 

She had succeeded in taking him by surprise and unnerving him but he’d still managed to hold his own and squeeze some enjoyment out of the exchange, and he planned to continue to do so. Clearly, despite her tough exterior, Rowan was a woman who could be flirted with and was not totally immune to Leonard Snart’s infamous and considerable charms. Len could work with that.

He got up and went to the fridge to finally get himself that drink. He grabbed a beer and twisted off the cap, taking a refreshing swig. Then he moved to sit in front of one of several desktop computers in the room and got down to work.


	2. Spy vs. Spy

Len sat comfortably on a bench in Central City’s main downtown park around midday, patiently waiting for his mark to come into view. He’d been trailing Rowan for a few weeks now, getting to know her habits and routines, such as they were. 

Whether by nature or conscious design Rowan, it turned out, was a lot more random in her patterns and behaviour than most people Len had trailed over the years, making his reconnaissance missions both more challenging and more interesting.

Len had spent the first few days after his surprise encounter with Rowan attempting to conduct research on her from the comfort of his studio space but, for the first time ever, he’d come up with virtually no useful information on his subject that way. 

Rowan had no online or social media presence whatsoever as far as Len could tell and all his usual hacks failed to turn up anything beyond where she worked, which he had already pretty much deduced. Len had confirmed that Rowan had a job with the CCPD and her official title was ‘Security Consultant’, but when he hacked into the CCPD’s HR files, Rowan just didn’t seem to have one. 

Every other person Len knew of who worked for the CCPD had a personnel file saved on a locked drive on the CCPD’s server but Rowan’s was nowhere to be found. She didn’t have timesheets either, nor was there any emergency contact information on file for her. That was…odd. 

No contract, no tax forms, no benefits records, no three-month probation period performance review or confirmation of continued employment. Nada. Other than her inclusion on the CCPD internal contact and extension lists for the past six months, there was no other record of her being an employee there. Len found all this both intriguing and suspicious. Still, her employment, as mysterious as it was, did likely explain how she’d met Barry and friends.

Len had hacked just about every institution he could think of to gain intel on Rowan and he’d come up empty handed. 

Apparently, she had no tax history to speak of. Interesting. She had no health insurance as far as Len could tell. Huhn. She did not have a driver’s license. Okay. She didn’t even seem to possess a library card. Very strange. No police records either. Hmmm…too bad. 

The more dead ends Len ran up against the more determined he was to decipher the riddle Rowan presented. He decided to assign Hartley to this project. Len was pretty tech and research savvy but the kid was the best he’d ever encountered. If anyone could turn up something on this enigmatic woman, Hart would.

Lisa noticed Len’s growing fascination and cautioned him not to get all fixated and obsessed again the way he had when the Flash first showed up. Mick had told her all about it. 

Len assured her he could moderate himself and that this time was different. He wasn’t intent on defeating Rowan; he just wanted to dig up some dirt so he would have some leverage over her. Then he could exert pressure on her to give up his files so he could destroy them once and for all. 

It wasn’t even so much about the practical benefit of it anymore as it was about the principle of the thing. Len wanted the win and to beat Rowan in what had quickly developed into a battle of wits. It was a matter of pride and Len had a lot of that. On a very intimate and personal level, it might be all he had.

So in the absence of making any progress in front of his computer, Len had resorted to primary research, which was more fun anyway. 

Len didn’t normally resort to disguises in his work. In fact, he revelled in everyone knowing when he’d pulled off a heist but for this project he’d decided to grow his beard and hair out, dying them both a rusty shade of deep red-brown. He donned sunglasses and a black baseball cap with an open buttoned dress shirt and pants, completely unlike anything he would normally wear, even adding some padding here and there to alter his silhouette for anyone who might be looking. 

These relatively simple adjustments to his appearance, along with a conscious alteration of his gait and voice, allowed him to fool both Lisa and Mick when, just for fun, he had tested his disguise out on them earlier that morning. 

He’d pretended to be a household cleaners salesman, knocking on the door of the small safe house he knew they were hanging out in after a night of raucous partying. Lisa had opened the door and absently referred him to Mick, who had promptly told him to take a hike, with neither of them even giving him a second glance.

Len smirked and felt a surge of satisfaction as he thought ahead to later in the day when he would return in costume and only then reveal his deception. That would be fun. 

For now he needed to stay focused if he wanted to catch Rowan stepping out for a quick bite at the small organic café he’d discovered she liked to grab lunch at once a week, on no particular day. 

It was Friday and she hadn’t been there yet this week so there was a good chance she’d show up today. She didn’t keep to a fixed time schedule either, so she could appear anywhere between 12:30 – 3:00 pm. 

Len actually liked that she was unpredictable. It suggested she either knew it was not a great idea to keep too much to a set routine, especially as a single female whose job and extracurricular activities led to her interacting with criminal elements, or she was just a really go with the flow, freewheeling kind of individual. Either way, Len tended to prefer people who mixed things up and kept things interesting...which was kind of funny considering what a stickler for timing he was, especially when it came to jobs.

Len glanced at his watch as he pretended to read a book. It was coming up on 1:40 pm so if Rowan was going to show it would likely be soonish. He kept his eyes on the entrance to the organic café, while periodically glancing down at his book, feigning interest and occasionally turning a page. 

Finally, he saw her striding down the sidewalk at a good clip, passing many of the people around her who were walking more slowly than she was. Len had learned over the past few weeks that Rowan was a very fast walker and, though polite about it, couldn’t seem to stand walking behind slower people. 

It was a behaviour that seemed to reflect some of the broader characteristics Len had noticed about Rowan as he’d trailed her. She was clearly a very independent person who marched to her own drum most of the time. She behaved conventionally enough so as not to draw too much attention but otherwise, from what Len could tell, she did things on her own time and in her own way. Len found himself respecting that about her, only somewhat reluctantly.

She slowed and turned to enter the door of the organic café. Len checked his watch. He knew she took on average about 33 minutes to eat her lunch in there so he sat tight for another 20 minutes before casually getting up and moving to a position closer to the café so he would be ready for his planned manoeuvre. 

He walked the path that Rowan would most likely be taking back to the CCPD within the next few minutes. He stopped and leaned against the stone and brick wall of a bank on the corner of the nearest intersection. 

A few more minutes and it would be show time. Len was getting excited like he always did when he was about to steal something, large or small. The fact that Rowan wasn’t just any old mark and clearly had some stealth skills of her own, such as would have been needed to break into his studio, just added to the adrenaline rush.

And there she was. Rowan had emerged from the café and was walking toward Len now, looking calm and content. 

Len made a move to start walking toward her but then stopped himself when he saw that Rowan had stopped. She took a small wallet out of her jacket pocket, opened it and seemed to be looking for some change. She found some and walked a few paces back and dropped some coins into a cup that a homeless woman had set out in front of her as she sat on the sidewalk. She and Rowan exchanged a few friendly words and then Rowan put her wallet back in her jacket pocket and started walking toward Len again, looking contemplative.

‘Perfect,’ Len thought. While he could appreciate that Rowan seemed a decent person who was not indifferent to the plights of others, this was ultimately a war and Len was playing for keeps. Nothing would dissuade him from winning this through any reasonable means necessary. 

Besides, it wouldn’t be a big deal for Rowan to be without her wallet for a few hours as Len fully intended to return it to her, once he’d gotten all the info he could from it. Hell, he could even just drop it off at the CCPD office where she worked and she’d have it back in no time. No need to replace identity cards or anything. 

Len congratulated himself on what he considered to be an extremely considerate gesture on his part. Really, he wasn’t nearly as big a jerk as he often let on. The fact that he would prefer Rowan not to suspect he had been involved in the theft if possible was just an added bonus, of course.

Len was now casually walking toward Rowan, not looking at her but positioned so that he would pass her on the side where she’d put her wallet. 

She didn’t seem to notice him at all among the moderate number of people around them on the sidewalk. Suddenly, Len swayed toward her, seemingly to avoid a poll and brushed her slightly as he passed her. 

“Sorry,” he said flatly while half turning to glance back at her, as if he’d just miscalculated the distance he needed to pass her. 

“No problem,” Rowan said in a voice softer than the one she’d used when she was confronting and admonishing him in his studio a few weeks ago. 

Len continued walking without looking back and kept going until he was at his nearest safe house, which was a small, comfortably furnished apartment close to downtown. 

He quickly let himself in and closed the door behind him, eager to see what details the easy lifting of Rowan’s wallet might yield. He took off his sunglasses and baseball cap and produced the slim wallet from his jacket pocket. Now the fun would really begin.

He noted the smooth faux blue leather and the cute image of a cat and flower on the outside. He had learned Rowan was single and had a cat named Snuggles when he tracked her to her apartment, so he wasn’t surprised to see the cat detail. For some odd reason Len would have pegged her to be more of a dog person, but those were likely false distinctions anyway. Maybe Rowan didn’t think she was home enough to have a dog. 

At any rate, it was time for the big reveal. Len opened the wallet and his heart immediately sank. Instead of a bunch of identity and bankcards neatly inserted into the rows of the wallet that he hoped to find, only a single small piece of paper slipped out, along with a slim packet of… ‘Minty Fresh’ peppermint chewing gum? 

Len scrunched up his face in a private look of rare consternation and turned the small piece of paper over. Written in scrawling handwriting was a note that read:

_Better luck next time. Enjoy the gum. P.S. nice hat…not so sure about the beard._

A happy face with a tongue sticking out accompanied the note.

Len had to sit down for a moment, he was in such a state of genuine shock. 

He had been so careful. He had been his usual disciplined, artful, stealthy self, which had always worked so well in the past. How had Rowan known he’d been trailing her and would make a play for her wallet? Had she known he’d been trailing her all this time? 

So many questions…several of them quite disturbing to him. Was he losing his edge? No, no that wasn’t it, Len was sure. 

‘She’s just exceptionally good at this cat and mouse stuff,’ he reflected to himself, shaking his head and frowning.

Shit she was good! Len tried to fight it but a small smile started to play at his lips and suddenly he let out a full-blown chuckle. It was funny, he had to admit, and the gum was a nice touch. 

He sighed and opened the packet, unwrapping a piece and popping it into his mouth. How and when had she discovered his preferred chewing gum? Clearly it was before she’d shown up at the studio when she’d mentioned it for the first time. 

Len shook his head and smirked to himself. Clearly he was going to have to up his game again; he just wasn’t quite sure how yet. 

For now he needed a break. He could at least look forward to playing with Mick and Lisa a bit more before revealing his disguise. At least his prep work wouldn’t go completely to waste. 

~

Mick guffawed longer than Len could ever remember him doing before, and Lisa kept trying to hold it together but then lapsed back into giggle fits every few seconds. 

Len had found them both still lounging around the same safe house he’d visited them at that morning and at first he pretended to be the same salesman back again to make sure they hadn’t changed their minds about buying the latest environmentally friendly bathroom cleaner. 

When Mick started to look like he was seriously considering lighting Len up if he didn’t leave immediately, he took off his sunglasses and drawled, “Relax partner, it’s me.” 

“Len!” Mick exclaimed gruffly, giving him a surprised once over before seeming to just accept that everything all made sense now and retreating back into the safe house. “Lisa, Len’s here.” 

Mick turned when Lisa entered the room to see her reaction to salesman Len and he was not disappointed. 

First Lisa looked confused, as Len had put his sunglasses back on, then he took them off again and she rolled her eyes, gave him a truly exasperated look and lightly punched his arm. 

“You better have had a good reason to get all dressed up like that other than to put one over on us Lenny or I’m gonna be annoyed with you for a week!” 

“Don’t worry sis, it was all just part of a job…well, a little pet project I’m working on at the moment, really.” 

“Yeah buddy, we know all about your little pet project and how it’s keeping you from planning any _real_ jobs. Her name’s Rowan and she _is_ really pretty, I’ll give you that.” Mick shot Len an exasperated sidelong glance.

Len had pulled off his baseball cap and was running a hand over his slightly longer than usual hair. 

He rolled his eyes and scowled, then intoned, “Her being pretty or not has nothing to do with anything. She has all my police records in her possession, and while she _said_ she’d sit on them for now there’s no telling how long that will hold for. As if I can magically control everything every one of my rogues might do at any single moment. I’m good but no one’s _that_ good. At some point someone’s gonna step out of line and I’ll be on the hook for it. I want to be out from under all this before that happens.”

"Out from under _her_ you mean,” Lisa smirked. “Sooooo Lenny, what did your disguise help you find out today then?”

Len sighed. “Not as much as I’d hoped,” he conceded after a moment. He hesitantly dropped the wallet on the counter in front of Lisa. He couldn’t keep secrets from her even if he tried.

Sparing him a quizzical glance, she opened the wallet and the note fell out. She read it and her eyes lit up with amusement. She giggled, saw Len’s slightly drawn expression and put a hand to her mouth to try to stop herself. That just made her erupt into stronger laughter though and she had to go get herself a glass of water. 

Mick looked at Lisa, then at Len, with a puzzled expression on his face. Len rolled his eyes again, waving his hand at the note as if to say, ‘What the hell, you might as well read it too.’

Mick moved over to the counter and glanced down at the note, amusement slowly colonizing his features one by one. He chuckled when he read the line about the hat and beard. “Gum?” he raised his eyebrows, questioning Len. 

Len produced the package from his pocket. Mick considered it, then looked to Len with true merriment in his eyes and started guffawing like he’d just found a sense of humour Len didn’t realise he had.

“You gotta admit, that’s a good one buddy!” Mick kept laughing and shaking his head. “That’s really funny.” He continued to chuckle. “I’m starting to like this girl, even if she is a Flashling.”

Mick regarded Len, doing his best to stop laughing and look serious. He placed one large hand on Len’s shoulder and said solemnly, “I want you to know, I approve.” Lisa was drinking her water at that moment and sprayed a good portion of it at the fridge door as she erupted into full blown giggles again, then started to hiccough.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s all really hilarious…” Len tried to muster one of his typical scowly smirks or cold expressionless looks but even he couldn’t completely hold back a tiny smile.

“Okay, it is funny and point goes to Rowan this round but all that means is it’s more important than ever to figure out what she’s up to. She’s too good at sneaking around to be totally on the up’n’up so we need to find out who she is, why she’s here in Central and what her ultimate game is.”

Len had reaffixed a stern expression to his face and was trying to bring things back to a state of seriousness but it was a battle he was losing. Lisa was still hiding her face as she tried to compose herself and stifle her hiccoughs and Mick was still grinning like he’d just happened across a bank burning down.

“Unh, you mean _you_ need to figure all that out buddy. I need a drink.” Mick got up to get himself a beer.

“I’m serious Mick, this woman’s dangerous.” There was an unusually earnest quality to his otherwise sharp statement.

“Yep,” Mick replied. “To your ego.”

At that Lisa burst out laughing again and Len gave up, waving his hand in a gesture of futility and dismissal. He got up irritably to get a beer for himself.

He’d have to think on all of this before deciding on his next move. Taking one last look at his closest, still giggly, allies before flopping down on the couch, Len reflected ruefully that he was clearly in this fight alone.

~

Over the next few weeks, Len decided to lay off tracking Rowan for a while in order to plan and then execute a fairly straightforward heist; if only to get his mind off things and placate Mick, who had been getting increasingly irritable regarding Len’s lack of focus on his crookly responsibilities.

This had the added benefits of getting Lisa to lay off teasing him incessantly about all things Rowan related and, as it went off so perfectly, it eased Len’s fears that he was somehow off his game so it lifted his spirits.

Len felt better about everything once the job was done. He had once again proven his mastery of strategic planning and what an excellent thief he truly was. The Flash had even shown up and given Mick, Lisa and him some extra fun challenges. In the end they had all gotten away clean with their respective loot, and Len added yet another shiny bauble to his ever growing portfolio.

This time it was a lovely, fairly large dark blue sapphire, uncut but free of flaws and impurities so it would prove to be extremely valuable when cut. Len had to question why members of the international community continued to agree to send valuable, sometimes priceless items to be displayed at Central City venues. It was like child’s play for Len to lift them at this point, as he’d proven time and time again.

Well, as long as precious items kept showing up in town for the taking, Len would oblige and take them.

He didn’t need the money. Growing up the way he and Lisa had with no one really taking care of them, his father providing almost nothing for them, even food sometimes, Len had developed a very strong sense of the necessity to save money and be prepared for anything life might throw at him.

He planned for retirement the way he planned for everything; meticulously. He’d worked things out so that, no matter what happened to him, Lisa and even Mick would always be taken care of. The three of them could also live well past their 100th birthdays and still be fine financially so, at this point, he really did steal for the joy of it...and because he figured he often found better uses for pretty rocks and other valuables than their original ‘owners’ ever would.

He was reflecting on this very fact as he admired his latest deep blue translucent acquisition. Lisa came into the living room he was in and sat down on the sofa beside him.

“That one’s actually a really beautiful blue. What’chya gonna do with it Lenny?” Lisa asked out of genuine curiosity, knowing Len probably had some good ideas running around his brain already.

“It is beautiful,” Len mused. “I think I’ll hang onto it for a while and then have it cut up a bit…sell some of the pieces and send the proceeds, most of them anyway, back to the country it was dug up out of. As usual, most of the people there can use all the help they can get. I’ll find some good local NGOs and send some anonymous donations. You know, nothing fancy, the usual.”

Lisa shot her brother an unabashedly proud look. “You’re the best Lenny! Ha! If the Flash and his crew only knew how much good you do behind the scenes I wonder if they’d be so keen to chase after you all the time. I’ll bet their heads would explode if they ever tried figuring out all your contradictions.”

Len smirked but couldn’t completely mask his appreciation for what his little sister had just said.

“Yet another reason to make sure the Flash and his team continue to know as little about our real lives as possible…the last thing I want is to go back to the pre-Flash days with no idealistic superheroes in tight little red suits providing endless entertainment at just about every job. I feel like I should start cutting them in they liven things up so much!”

Lisa giggled and let out a small sigh. “So, what’chya wanna do tonight Lenny? Mick and I were thinking of catching a movie. Wanna come?”

Len considered the idea for a moment. “Sure, what are we seeing?”

Lisa jumped off the sofa to grab her tablet to flick through the movie choices again. It had been a while since Len had agreed so easily to just take a night off and have some fun and she was determined to solidify their plans before he had a chance to back out.

She needn’t have worried though. Len was feeling good and was in the mood to just relax for a while. These moments of feeling contented and at peace in his life didn’t come along very often, and they didn’t tend to last too long so he’d learned to seize them whenever he could.

His always active mind would surely start suggesting new tasks for him to work on any moment so getting in some downtime with Lisa and Mick before that happened sounded great to him. He left Lisa to decide on a movie and went to change into some more casual, nondescript clothes.


	3. Desperate Times, Desperate Measures

It was mid-July and Len was _really_ feeling the effects of the hot muggy weather lately. The chilly ‘Captain Cold’ persona Cisco Ramon had bestowed upon him suited him in so many ways, including in that he was _not_ a fan of hot, humid weather. He’d take the refreshing crisp air of fall, winter or early spring over the searing heat of high summer any day. 

He had finally ditched his parka in early June and had been relying on his favourite light black nylon jacket to look cool in and keep covered ever since, though even that was proving to feel like way too much clothing lately. 

Len could tolerate the discomfort of sweaty heat far better than he could tolerate the discomfort of feeling exposed, however, so his light jacket was a necessity, regardless of how high the temperature and humidity crept.

He strode down the sidewalk of a medium sized street and tried to enjoy the brightness of the sunny day and will away all thoughts of how hot and sticky it was. He was keeping himself well hydrated and wore sunglasses and a very slick looking navy blue bucket hat to protect himself from UV rays.

Len cared a lot about looking good but he also liked to take proper care of himself. He’d learned long ago that if he didn’t, no one else would.

He turned down a now familiar side street and then turned again a minute later. He ducked through a small laneway and came to a kind of open courtyard area where he quickly concealed himself behind some foliage, affording him a good view of the house he was heading for.

After his last successful heist he’d taken a few days off to relax and enjoy himself but it wasn’t long before he started to ruminate once more on how to gain some useful intel on this elusive and, apparently, somewhat playful Rowan character.

He felt like a bit of a creep going through with the plan he’d settled on but, after reflecting on all the other options he could think of, breaking into Rowan’s apartment to have a look around seemed like the only logical move that might yield some quick results. 

Residential breaking and entering wasn’t usually his style, and he didn’t relish the idea of invading a single woman’s privacy like this. He was a crook, not a scumbag after all; but to be fair, Rowan had broken in on him first.

Len tried to quell his misgivings surrounding what he was about to do by reminding himself that he was _not_ a crazy stalker and was only doing what he’d warned Rowan he would do; looking into who she was. 

He hadn’t anticipated that it would be so difficult to learn anything remotely useful about her through other means. Even Hartley was having a hard time finding out anything truly meaningful about her, though he was still working on it.

Apart from observing that she very obviously loved animals and displayed a pretty easy-going, if somewhat reserved, personality that seemed to allow her to get along with just about everyone, Len wasn’t much further ahead than he’d been the day she’d broken in on him. 

Though, he had also noticed from trailing her that she was a bit of a loner, much like he was. She got along with people, sure, but didn’t seem to be overly close to anyone in particular; at least not in Central City. 

She was clearly friends with the Flash and his team but she didn’t tend to hang out with them nearly as much as they all seemed to hang out with each other. From what Len could tell, Barry and his core team practically lived at Star Labs which, for some reason, kind of gave him the creeps.

Other than this handful of pretty general observations, so far he’d been coming up empty so he was at the point he either had to throw in the towel or do something bold.

Besides, Rowan was clearly a player of some sort who had technically broken the law when she’d walked in on Len in his studio. He’d let that go, and not just because he was a wanted criminal with outstanding warrants on his head, his deleted past files notwithstanding. 

On some level, Len felt he and Rowan had a kind of understanding. They were pieces on the same chessboard, even if they might not be playing exactly the same game; well, likely not the same game at all. 

Len was starting to wonder if he ever would figure out Rowan’s game, but he was determined to learn something, or at least exhaust all reasonable possibilities before giving up; and Len was _not_ someone who gave up easily.

He knew Rowan was at work at the CCPD because he’d just come from tracking her there. He suspected Rowan’s upstairs and downstairs neighbours were both out too as their bike and car, respectively, were not around and none of the other tells that they were likely home were present at the moment.

Rowan rented the ground floor of a rather nice looking but average sized house and she had two neighbours, both female, one who lived on the top floor of the house and one who lived in the basement apartment below.

Seeing no movement anywhere close by, Len decided to make his move. He drew his black leather gloves from his jacket pocket and pulled them on. 

He casually emerged from his hiding spot and strode up to Rowan’s front door, expertly picking the two locks on it within about 15 seconds. One was a simple doorknob lock and the second was a standard deadbolt. Anyone noticing what he was doing would have thought he had a key. It was literally child’s play for him, seeing as he’d been honing these skills since he was eight years old.

Len had observed Rowan and her upstairs neighbour going in and out enough times to know that once past the outer door he’d be inside a small hall entrance with one inner door leading upstairs and another leading into Rowan’s place. Her downstairs neighbour had a separate entrance.

He knocked on her door first, just in case someone unexpected might be inside. Hearing nothing, he quickly picked the two locks on the inner door and was inside Rowan’s apartment in practically no time. 

Len was somewhat surprised she hadn’t rigged up some better security for herself, especially considering her CCPD job title was ‘Security Consultant’. Aside from that, a single woman living alone who clearly lived a life on the edge was a prime candidate for better security. Len resolved to mention this fact to her if he ever got the chance.

As he stood just inside the door Len saw Rowan’s cat Snuggles emerge cautiously from a doorway, likely the bedroom, stop dead and stare at him, seemingly unsure whether to consider him dangerous or not. 

Len took off his sunglasses and collapsed them, slipping them into one of his jacket’s inner pockets. He dropped smoothly into a squatting position, took off one glove and held out his hand, saying softly, “Hey there kitty…no need to worry. I’m just passing through.” 

Snuggles crept toward him tentatively and stretched her head forward to sniff his fingers. Len gently stroked her head, cheeks and chin, causing Snuggles to start purring loudly, seeming to relax and decide that Len was likely not a threat.

Not many people knew this, and it wasn’t something he generally advertised so as not to detract from his ‘cold as ice’ reputation, but Len had always had a way with animals. He liked and trusted them more than he liked and trusted most people, for good reason. 

No dog, cat, bird, raccoon or any other non-human animal had ever hurt or betrayed Len the way his father and countless other people had throughout his life.

Before Lewis Snart had beaten and browbeaten his son into the hardened shell he so often came across as, Len had been a very sensitive child. Profoundly empathetic, he had felt the pain of others acutely, which was a large part of the reason he had stood up to his tyrannical father, in spite of his fears and being only a child himself, to try and protect his mother, then his little sister from the merciless Lewis.

Sometimes, when Len was recovering from the latest beating he’d received, he would sneak out of the gloomy house he couldn’t seem to ever truly escape from and walk around his neighbourhood, often late at night.

He would frequently come across neighbourhood cats and pet the ones that let him. He cherished the affection they so freely gave him, as he didn’t receive much from other sources, save his mother before she disappeared, and Lisa. 

There was a young dog that was sometimes left tied up on a porch that Len visited too. The first few times Len walked by the pup had barked, more excitedly than threateningly it seemed. He worked up the courage to try and pet it one time and the friendly boxer was overjoyed to get some attention and affection so, after that, Len always stopped and sat for a while to pet the pooch whenever he was passing by.

Snuggles sniffed Len’s fingers again and licked them gently with her small, sandpaper like tongue. She then turned and walked away from him, opting to sit with her back to him a little ways into the room. 

Len put his glove back on and softly made his way into the apartment, taking care to make as little noise as possible, just in case. He took quick stock of all the rooms so he would have a sense of what he was dealing with and then set about swiftly and efficiently examining the contents of each room more closely. 

First off, he noticed Rowan had a desktop computer in her bedroom. He pressed a key on the keyboard waking it out of sleep mode and found, unsurprisingly, it was password protected. Len inserted a USB key with password cracking software on it. He set the program in motion so it could work away while he looked around. He suspected Rowan would at the very least have a strong password but, with any luck, it would fall before he had to leave.

He noted that, overall, Rowan’s place was modest but it had a cosy and lived in feel and was reasonably neat and clean. Her furniture looked comfortable but was also tasteful to Len’s mind, in that the colours were well chosen and everything fit together nicely, even if most of the pieces seemed to be separate from one another, as if they came from various sources and possibly different eras of Rowan’s life. (The more suspicious part of Len’s brain wondered if they were just made to look that way.)

Len also promptly noted that Rowan didn’t have any pictures of family or friends displayed anywhere. There were a few framed photos of two different dogs and some of her cat, but those were the only photos Len could see.

She had some cool pieces of art on her walls, mostly depicting animals or nature in various styles and mostly in her living room and kitchen. ‘Interesting,’ Len reflected when he noticed she didn’t have much decorating her bedroom; Len preferred mostly bare walls in his bedroom too.

The first things that jumped out to Len in Rowan’s living room were that she had quite a few thriving houseplants and she had a number of intriguing looking knick-knacks. She also had a _lot_ of books. Two large bookcases and one smaller one lined the walls, full of some very curious looking volumes. A few caught Len’s attention and before he knew it he was taking one and then another from the shelves and leafing through them to see if they were as interesting as their titles suggested.

One shelf was dedicated to CDs and some of these caught Len’s eye too. Rowan seemed to have eclectic tastes in music and he realised he’d never heard of many of the artists represented in her collection.

Though, judging by the number of CDs, she was clearly a Nina Simone fan, and Nina Simone was one of Len’s all-time favourite singers and musicians. Rowan must have some musical taste Len decided.

After thoroughly examining the living room, he moved on to the kitchen area, which was open concept so was not walled off from the living room.

Len glanced at the island counter and suddenly froze as his eyes fell on a note written in purple pen on blue paper. He looked closer and his heart almost stopped in his chest. His eyes darted around him and he had a momentary fight or flight response. However, seeing no movement in the apartment or outside the windows, he took a breath and resolved to resist flight, at least until he had a chance to read the full note.

He pulled it closer to him. It read:

Dear Len (may I call you Len?),

Welcome to my humble apartment. I know you will be stopping by at some point so let’s just cut to the chase. You will not find much here that will give you the information you are looking for. I do not leave revealing personal or work related items lying around my home to be found by…shall we say curious individuals such as yourself. You are welcome to soymilk and cookies though. Soymilk is in the fridge, cookies are in the red tin on the counter. 

I trust you will not upset or harm my cat in any way. Please understand that if you do, you will live just long enough to regret that mistake profoundly. (I am not kidding about this.) Otherwise, thanks for stopping by and please be sure to make this a one-time occurrence. I’ll give you a pass just this once, as I did break in on you that one time before. We are now even. 

Enjoy your day and make sure you shut both doors securely on your way out (Snuggles is an indoor cat). 

Rowan 

P.S. Don’t take anything (I will know).

Rowan’s signature was accompanied by a waving happy face.

Len stood in stunned silence for a few moments as he stared down at the note, fighting to keep his jaw in check as it threatened to hit the floor. He glanced up and saw that Snuggles had settled herself into one of the compartments of her cat tree by the living room window and was regarding him intently. 

He read through the whole note again and let out a soft, incredulous “humpf”, to go with the rather perplexed and serious look on his face. 

He eyed Snuggles again and asked her wryly, “Were you in on this the whole time?” The enigmatic feline continued to regard Len impassively.

He spread his hands out in front of him on the counter and stretched out his arms, leaning forward and letting his forehead rest on the edge of it as he doubled over, releasing a resigned sigh accompanied by an involuntary upturning of his lips. 

He couldn’t believe it, but Rowan was still out manoeuvring him and she was clearly having a great deal of fun doing it.

He slowly straightened up and looked at Snuggles again. The muted red mackerel tabby was the colour of a lion and had an exceptionally beautiful face, which had taken on an expression of deep concern.

“Don’t mind me kitty,” Len mused softly. “Your human just has a remarkable talent for evading any and all scrutiny.” ‘While apparently anticipating my every move,’ Len thought to himself.

Len fingered the note again, propping an elbow on the counter and resting his chin in his palm. He had an urge to laugh out loud and scream in frustration, simultaneously. His acute bemusement, however, would not allow him to do either.

His eyes darted back to the cat. “I don’t suppose _you_ can tell me anything incriminating about her?” Len drawled sarcastically. Snuggles blinked, then put her head down on her paws and closed her eyes.

“Not talkin’ huh?” Len tilted his head. “Fair enough.” 

He sighed again and shook his head slightly, fighting his mouth as it threatened to break out into a full-blown grin. There was something about the mix of teasing humour and hard edged warning Rowan seemed to achieve in her interactions with him, both written and otherwise, that threw Len off his so carefully honed mental and emotional balance. 

He should be annoyed with her rather mischievous references to leaving him milk and cookies but, try as he might, he just couldn’t feel it. 

Not many people over the years had ever treated Len as anything other than a dangerous, self-serving criminal, so perhaps it wasn’t altogether surprising that Len found himself intrigued by and drawn to those rare individuals who approached him with a different tack.

Even though he was alone, Len felt it important to maintain his snarky, tough, cold exterior as much as possible, lest he get into the bad habit of allowing too much of how he really felt to register on his face, even faintly. 

So he decided to play it cool and go along with the joke, sauntering over to the fridge to check out Rowan’s beverage options, as if it was his idea. He spied cartons of both grapefruit juice and chocolate soymilk. 

First he considered going for the juice in a subtle act of dissent, but then he found he couldn’t resist the lure of chocolate milk, even if it was soymilk and not ‘real’ milk. Len had a serious sweet tooth, especially when it came to chocolate.

He poured himself a taster in a glass he found in a cupboard, noticing how thick and creamy it looked. He took a sip and had to admit he was surprised by how good it tasted. Just the right balance of sweetness and strong, bitter chocolate taste. 

He topped up the glass and looked for the red cookie tin. Finding and opening it, he found two kinds of cookies inside; chocolate chip and all chocolate. (Len was noticing a definite theme that he could easily get behind.)

There was another note in with the cookies. It listed the ingredients of each and, underneath the listings, Rowan had written, ‘Please note in case of allergies. P.S. Don’t worry, neither soymilk nor cookies contain any poisonous or toxic substances (that I know of).’ This was accompanied by…another happy face. 

Len snorted, then looked down at the soymilk. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to simply drink what Rowan had suggested. He felt okay so far but…damn! This woman was getting inside his head!

Len resolved to just assume Rowan was joking around when mentioning poisonous and toxic substances. He polished off the soymilk and took one of each type of cookie. Both were excellent; delicious and firm but still chewy, just the way Len liked. 

They were obviously homemade and Len assumed Rowan had most likely made them herself. The second type turned out to be chocolate garlic cookies, which Len had not realised could be a thing, but they were actually really good.

He was hungry and loved cookies so he thought ‘to hell with it’ and grabbed a few more to eat while he continued to thoroughly search the kitchen. Rowan may have claimed she didn’t have anything interesting lying around but Len thought it best to verify that for himself.

He spent less time searching the bathroom and Rowan’s bedroom, the former because there weren’t a lot of places to hide things in the small room, and the latter because, in spite of everything, Len really didn’t want to totally invade Rowan’s personal space to such an intimate extent. He did look in drawers and the closet but didn’t linger long when it seemed clear there really wasn’t anything tucked away anywhere that was immediately accessible.

Len had set up a small camera to watch Rowan’s outside door roughly two months previously, when he first started tracking her, to get a sense of the patterns of her comings and goings. He had considered the possibility of bugging or setting up small cameras inside Rowan’s apartment once inside but had decided against it, at least for now. 

He felt it was too likely that Rowan would find anything he set up and possibly get annoyed enough to release his records back to the police. It just seemed too much of a risk to take when Rowan lived alone anyway and had, as far as he could tell through his surveillance, very few visitors. 

Len looked for loose floorboards and signs of possible hidden compartments or areas throughout the apartment but, in the end, he turned up nothing of significance. 

He couldn’t help but note, however, the rather comical collection of stuffed toys on Rowan’s bed, finding it rather hilarious that someone who could operate the way Rowan did would retain such a glaring remnant of childhood.

He was unprepared for the thought that suddenly came to him unbidden; a hazy memory of a long lost teddy bear, the only stuffed toy he had ever been allowed as a child. 

His father had thrown it out in the garbage with no warning one day when he was in one of his irrational rages. Len had been six and his father had yelled at him that it was long past the time he should be attached to such a childish toy. 

He had tried to salvage his beloved teddy bear later that night but couldn’t find the garbage anywhere. It seemed Lewis had made sure he wouldn’t be able to retrieve it. Len had cried and cried and gotten beaten for crying too, until he just couldn’t cry about it anymore. It was the first time he remembered truly hating his father.

Len frowned icily at the unpleasant memory but shook his head and willed the anger and sadness he’d suddenly been feeling out of his system. He brought his thoughts back to where they’d been before his memories had intruded on him.

As he’d been looking around, Len had been formulating a response in his mind to Rowan’s rather cheeky note. Once back in the living room, he found the blue notepad Rowan had used and retrieved a pen from his inner jacket pocket. He wrote:

Hey there Ro!

Just happened to be in your neighbourhood so thought I should drop by and make sure all was well. Thanks for the milk and cookies…they were very good. I’ve copied the ingredients for Mick (he’s an avid baker). Your cat is very sweet; she clearly likes me. She obviously has good taste in people, so I guess that reflects well on you. 

I’m a bit concerned about how easy it was for me to…gain access to your apartment. I can offer you some security tips, if you’re interested. Otherwise, thanks for the hospitality (oh, and for the gum by the way) and, please understand, this is not over. I will figure out what you’re up to someday…just not today, obviously.

Len ❅

Len signed his name to the note and was about to leave it on the counter when he paused and found himself drawing a small stylized snowflake next to his name. He liked it and decided then and there that this would be his new symbol.

He reread his note and smiled to himself. If he couldn’t beat Rowan just yet, he could at least match her playful sass with some of his own. He left the note beside Rowan’s on the counter.

Len was mildly conscious that this back and forth…whatever it was…that he and Rowan had going might be in danger of shifting too much from being a serious battle of wits, with the high stakes being all his police and public files, to being more like a battle of wags; but at that precise moment, Len didn’t particularly care. He just couldn’t deny to himself that he had started to enjoy Rowan’s sense of humour and he wanted to play around with it a bit.

He went back over to Rowan’s computer and saw that his software had not cracked her password yet. He was not too surprised. He would have been disappointed actually if Rowan had been so careless as to not have a good solid password on her personal computer. He decided to hack his way into her computer from the comfort of one of his safe houses, halting the program and retrieving the USB key.

He washed, rinsed, dried and put away the glass he’d used, grabbed a few more cookies for the road and gave Snuggles a good pet before moving toward the door. He paused, went back into the living room for a few minutes and then added a few lines to the end of his note.

With that he put his sunglasses back on and let himself out, locking the doorknob lock from the inside and using a special tool he carried with him to relock the deadbolt from outside the apartment. He then exited the outer door and relocked that, the hint of a genuine smile on his lips as he did so.

Len couldn’t help feeling some disappointment that he’d still come up with very little in terms of solid intel on Rowan. However, he hadn’t left her place entirely empty handed...and he’d at least gleaned a few more things about her personality. 

He walked confidently through the courtyard away from Rowan’s apartment with the items he’d taken from her living room tucked neatly under his jacket. He’d left a P.S. on his note listing the books and CDs he was borrowing, assuring Rowan he would bring them back soon in perfect condition, of course.

Len couldn’t resist provoking her a little, and he genuinely wanted to read and listen to the stuff he’d taken.

He hoped Rowan wouldn’t be mad…which was funny because Len generally never gave a rat’s ass about annoying or pissing off other people. He stopped and his mouth fell open slightly. Luckily there still wasn’t anyone around to see him. 

‘Shit!’ Len reflected to himself. ‘I am a bit afraid of her!’ Len stood still for a few moments before resuming a slow pace along the side streets he was retracing back toward the nearest main street where he’d parked his motorbike. 

As he walked Len gradually relaxed and found himself chuckling, once again musing on how unlikely a foe Rowan seemed to be, and yet she’d been so effective at stymieing his every attempt to pin her down so far. 

Dammit! He was starting to admire Rowan’s style, even as it simultaneously irritated the hell out of him.

Well, there was nothing else for it. Len was simply going to have to try yet another strategy to see if he could coax this woman into revealing something more useful about herself.

He resolved to continue looking for leads the way he normally would and, of course, hack into her computer (or have Hartley hack into her computer) but in concert with his newly emerging plan to attempt to charm her into divulging something to him. Len could be exceedingly charming when he wanted to be; that he knew for sure.

His disappointment lifted as he began to plan his next move. Rowan had proven herself to be a fun, if formidable, adversary so far. Len could barely contain the excitement he felt at taking things back to a more personal level. Even if he continued to get nowhere with his research on her, he could at least have some more fun of his own design while trying. 

Len enjoyed the sun of the now late morning as he took a scenic route back to one of his nearby safe houses, listening to the birds singing in the trees as he considered how best to approach Rowan in this new phase of their ongoing engagement.

~

In a small office at the end of a quiet hallway in the CCPD’s downtown precinct, Rowan sat in front of her computer screen watching the live feed from just outside her apartment door. As she observed the tall, self-assured figure of Leonard Snart stride away from the camera she let out a physical breath, but also a figurative one she’d been holding for months now. Once he was out of the camera frame she leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, wondering, not for the first time, what in the world she had gotten herself into.


	4. Drinks and Détente

So Cold had finally gone ahead and done what Rowan had expected he would at some point ever since she broke in on him, somewhat recklessly, after the fateful Ferris Air incident, as Team Flash now referred to it. 

She’d been alerted that someone was breaking into her place by a micro-sensor she’d rigged to her apartment deadbolt lock. She had immediately accessed the live feed she had available via several tiny cameras and microphones she’d expertly hidden throughout her apartment. 

She had Barry on speed dial and had given him a heads up that she might need to call on him for emergency assistance at some point, just in case Cold turned out to be even more of a villain than she estimated him to be and made any moves to harm her beloved cat Snuggles. 

Rowan’s breath caught when she first got the live feed up on her screen and there was the notorious super villain Captain Cold crouched down petting Snuggles and talking softly to her. She relaxed somewhat when it seemed clear he wasn’t interested in hurting her cat, but she’d still tensed as she watched him rifling through her private little domestic world. 

It was strange and somewhat surreal observing him invade her apartment and examine her personal things while just allowing it to happen. But Rowan had decided months ago she might as well just assume Cold would pull this at some point and she had best be prepared and glean what she could about the man she was up against from observing him while he did it. 

Every morning for weeks now Rowan would glance at the note she’d written and left on her kitchen counter, mentally making sure she was still well stocked with soymilk and cookies of some sort so the note would continue to make sense, just in case this would turn out to be the day Cold showed up.

All things considered, he’d been pretty restrained in his snooping and he seemed to be a cat lover from the gentle attention he’d given Snuggles. Of all her observations, the most unexpected had to be the surprisingly entertaining conversation he’d sustained with Snuggles throughout the time he was there. 

Rowan was grateful she’d gone all out and set up the mini-microphones around her apartment as well as the cameras. Who would have guessed that adorable little kitties were the key to drawing out the warm and amusing side of the self-styled Captain ‘Cold as Ice’? 

Still, Rowan’s afternoon was a very distracted one and she struggled to concentrate once the much-anticipated event had finally occurred. She continued to check the live feed throughout the day to make sure Cold hadn’t returned. 

As she approached her front door that evening she had an urge to run toward it so she could get inside as quickly as possible to make sure Snuggles was okay and not traumatised by her brush with the imposing super villain. 

She restrained herself though, so as not to give away the fact she already knew Cold had been in her apartment, just in case he happened to be watching her at that moment. 

She was aware that Cold had set up a camera outside her front door. It was a similar model to the one she herself had set up soon afterward and to the ones she had arranged throughout her apartment.

She entered her place and Snuggles was at the door to greet her, as usual, purring loudly. Rowan scooped her up in her arms and cuddled her, saying softly, “He didn’t hurt you did he? I know, that must have been very scary, hmmm? Poor baby.” 

Anyone who heard the way she baby talked her cat found it amusing and somewhat surprising considering her otherwise no nonsense personality; but Rowan wasn’t generally one to care what anyone else thought of such things. She was pretty sure Snuggles didn’t mind how she spoke to her as long as it was with love and was accompanied by an abundance of pets, cuddles, kisses and cat treats. Well, not _too_ many cat treats.

Snuggles had been a scrawny, scruffy stray when Rowan had found her as a six month old kitten, just a few doors down from her apartment. She’d run to Rowan out of nowhere meowing and crying and, at first, Rowan thought she would just take care of the lovable feline until she could find her a home with someone who actually wanted a cat. 

Then, as a few weeks passed and she became more and more attached to the spunky and extremely social and affectionate kitty, Rowan figured she would have to find someone she was friends with to take her, so she could visit and keep track of how Snuggles, as she had ‘temporarily’ named her, was doing. 

After a month and a half though, Rowan realised she had never really stood a chance. She’d been thoroughly adopted by this lovable rascal of whiskers and ginger coloured, tabby marked fur. 

She’d had to implement some extra security measures to ensure Snuggles’ safety, given her line of work, but the extra efforts were well worth it to have such a comforting and loving presence in her otherwise fairly lonely life.

Rowan had always meant to give Snuggles a human name because she’d read somewhere that was supposedly the best way to ensure people would understand her feline friend had feelings and was an individual, but Snuggles just stuck; it suited her loving, cuddly nature. Besides, Snuggles had so much personality and spirit Rowan figured she didn’t need a human name. Her dignity and individuality were undeniable regardless of what she was called.

Needless to say, Snuggles didn’t conform to most negative cat stereotypes at all. She continued to purr and then licked Rowan’s fingertips while she held them to her mouth. 

“Are you hungry honey-bunny? Let’s get you some foodies.” Rowan put out fresh food and water for Snuggles who immediately started eating. Having been a stray, Snuggles never lost her appreciation of food. 

Rowan noticed the note she’d observed Cold leave for her on the counter but she avoided it at first, feeling nervous about what it might say.

She went to the bathroom and changed clothes before returning to the kitchen to finally read Cold’s note. She was not at all sure what to expect from it and felt uncharacteristically anxious as she picked it up. 

As she read it she relaxed a little and a smile played at her lips. Cold had gone for light and funny, almost cute…he was clearly playing along with her attempts at humour, maybe even enjoying the curve balls Rowan had been throwing him so far. She read through the list of CDs and books he’d “borrowed”. 

‘Hmmm…good choices,’ she thought.

It was pretty nervy of him to have taken them, especially after she’d specifically warned him not to take anything. Still, she found she couldn’t be too mad about it as long as she did in fact get them all back.

Rowan tried to have as relaxing an evening as possible to calm herself after the rather stressful experience of watching her apartment being broken into by Central City’s preeminent thief. Even though she’d been expecting it and had been as prepared as possible, observing the whole thing unfolding in real time had still been jarring. At least it was finally over and done with.

A lot of people might still have found Rowan’s reactions somewhat blasé, but there was an explanation for them. Cold might be a criminal, but he wasn’t nearly as terrible as the thugs she worked day in and day out to apprehend and put out of business. Barry and Team Flash dealt with a lot of very dangerous people, but Rowan was after the worst of the worst.

She enjoyed a good comfort meal of baked spaghetti and, afterwards, a long hot bubble bath. Rowan then got ready for bed early, curling up with a book with Snuggles nestled in the crook of her knees. She read until she could read no more and then drifted off to sleep. 

~

After returning to her office at the CCPD from lunch the next day, Rowan was surprised to find a flat, rectangular box on her desk that hadn’t been there when she’d left. It was a medium brown colour and had a dark purple ribbon wrapped around it.

It looked small and innocent but she had the strangest feeling it would somehow turn out to be neither.

As she neared her desk Rowan saw that it was a box of pretty fancy chocolates. Upon closer inspection they turned out to be dark chocolate truffles that were both fair trade and organic…and hand made locally too. 

‘Wow!’ Rowan thought to herself. ‘Someone really knows their artisan chocolates …and what I like.’

Wondering who could possibly have left them for her and why, she unfolded the card that was tucked underneath the ribbon, eyes widening in a mix of shock and mild alarm as she realised who they were from. 

The note read:

Hey Ro!

I’ve gathered you’re a chocolate lover so hope you like these. I figure I owe you something sweet, after the gum and the cookies. Meet me at Saints and Sinners (see map below) tonight at 9 pm. We need to talk. 

Len ❅

Len’s signature was accompanied by the same snowflake design the note he’d left on her counter had been. Rowan had to admit, it was the perfect symbol for him.

She eased herself down into her chair and continued to stare down at the note. 

Several thoughts ran through her mind all at once, foremost among them, how the hell had the notorious criminal Leonard Snart just waltzed right into the heart of the downtown office of the CCPD and left a package on her desk; one that could have contained anything, really, and then just waltzed right back out again without being seen? What kind of security was this precinct equipped with anyway?

He was obviously good; she had to give him that. And bold. Had he done it just to prove he could? 

Rowan wouldn’t be surprised if that was at least part of it. She suspected she’d been giving him a run for his money so far. Perhaps he felt a need to assert his skills and demonstrate that he could play this game at least as well as she could.

As she contemplated all this she tried to ignore and to some extent deny the jolt of excitement she felt at the thought of what Cold had done and the fact that he’d asked her for a…meeting.

She inwardly rebuked herself for the ridiculous thoughts that started jockeying for attention in her mind. What in the world did Cold think they had to talk about? 

She quickly reeled herself in and forced herself to think logically for a moment. Why would Cold want to meet her? A new strategy to get information about her as his attempts so far had been largely unsuccessful? Rowan figured that must be it.

Leonard Snart must have finally come to the unavoidable conclusion that her whole existence was classified, the details of her identity buried by forces even his infamous and substantial talents could not easily thwart. 

Rowan’s lips pursed as she contemplated this apparent attempt to draw her out through alternative means. Considering the box in front of her, she wondered if Cold might be counting on his rather off the charts sex appeal to seduce her into divulging something. 

Luckily for her, and unfortunately for Cold, Rowan was far too self-disciplined to ever let anything like that happen. Besides, she was used to people trying to play her in the course of her job and she found it tedious and a bit insulting.

Still, it might be interesting to learn how exactly Cold planned to smoke her out. Hell, it might even be entertaining. 

Rowan had the impression that Cold was a man used to getting what he wanted. She knew she shouldn’t indulge herself…she had much more serious things to be focusing on; but she relished the thought of playing along temporarily and then slamming the door on whatever he was planning. The thought of denying him success filled her with a surprising amount of satisfaction.

She briefly contemplated the possibility that Cold was planning something more sinister. He’d already kidnapped Caitlin and Cisco. It was possible he might attempt to nab her too and…try and force her somehow to relinquish his police files? He had asked her to meet him on his turf after all.

She hesitated at the thought, then decided she could handle Cold if that was his game. She still had a few surprises up her sleeve and had no qualms about pulling them out if necessary. She resolved she would show up just to see how this would all play out. 

The truth was Rowan was stalled in her work at the moment and was waiting for more intel before she could proceed with her next move. She wasn’t from Central City and, despite her best efforts to make a life for herself since she’d arrived roughly six months previously, she was still an outsider in many ways and sometimes she felt isolated and bored. 

She spent some of her time helping out Barry and his team but didn’t like to crowd them too much. She preferred to hang around the periphery and be there for them when they needed her.

Otherwise her life had become pretty routine. She got up every weekday morning, went to ‘work’ at the CCPD, did whatever she had to do to maintain her cover and trained physically three times a week to make sure she was ready to handle whatever her real work called for at a moment’s notice. 

She grocery shopped and did other necessary errands and chores on the weekends and hung out with Snuggles. She didn’t have time for much else and, though she actually appreciated the predictability of it all to some extent, lately she’d been feeling somewhat restless.

Rowan had never intended it in the beginning, but this odd back and forth she had going with Leonard Snart was turning out to be one of the more fun things she’d gotten into since she’d moved to Central. Maybe she was crazy but, in her line of work, she figured she had to grab a laugh whenever and wherever she could.

She glanced down at the rather detailed map Cold had drawn and calculated when she’d have to leave her apartment to get to their meeting by 9 pm. A small smile asserted itself on her lips as she turned her attention back to the tasks she needed to complete by the end of the day; a day that was turning out to be a lot more interesting than she’d anticipated when she’d left for work that morning.

~

Rowan slowed her pace as she turned off the street she was walking along and started down the laneway toward Saints and Sinners. She’d never been there before but Cold’s map had been easy to follow. 

She’d gone home after work to eat dinner and change clothes. She’d then walked to the bar, as it was only a 20-minute stroll from her apartment. She checked her watch as the sign for the bar came into view. It was 8:55 pm. She’d timed her walk well; she had a feeling Cold would not be impressed by tardiness. 

Rowan inwardly questioned why she would feel any desire whatsoever to avoid his disapproval. She told herself she just wanted to continue keeping the crook on his toes.

She paused outside the door and took a deep breath. From the outside it looked more like a small, run down warehouse than a bar. She had a fleeting impulse to just turn around and go back home but she quickly banished it, determined to see this cockamamie project through.

She straightened her black jean jacket and let her hand fall to the hilt of the gun she had well hidden inside it. 

Deep down Rowan truly hated guns but she knew she needed to be prepared for anything Cold might throw at her. She couldn’t afford any careless mishaps considering the life she led and all that was riding on her work; the stakes were just too high. She resolved to get the hell out of the place if she detected any funny business once inside.

Rowan entered the bar and took a moment to assess the scene. It was a good size and was pretty busy for a Thursday night. Music was playing from a jukebox and a few groups of men were playing pool to one side of the room. Most of the booths and tables were occupied.

She quickly spotted Leonard Snart leaning over the bar nursing a drink and started walking in his direction. He was turned halfway towards her and had obviously spotted her already, his signature smirk clearly visible in the dim light as he watched her move toward him.

Rowan glimpsed out of the corner of her eye that one of the men who had been playing pool seemed to have noticed her and had gotten it into his head to follow her to the bar after snickering with his friends.

As she neared him, she saw that Cold had noticed this guy as well. He shot the approaching man a withering glare that was enough to have the would be irritant well on his way back to his friends at the pool table by the time Rowan looked over her shoulder to follow Cold’s gaze.

She turned back to face him and Leonard Snart’s indulgent smirk reaffixed itself to his face as his eyes met hers. Rowan had to admit to herself that the man before her certainly had a powerful and compelling presence.

She gestured with her head towards the pool table guy. “Is that your rep working for you or are you just that intimidating?”

Cold glanced toward the pool tables and tilted his head, offering a subtle shrug. 

“Probably a bit of both.” The legendary thief continued smirking as though he thoroughly considered himself the cat’s meow. Out of the blue Rowan thought he would indeed make an excellent cat.

He regarded her for a few moments, eyes intense but features unreadable. Then they softened and his trademark smirk resurfaced, as if floating back up to his mouth from deep within.

“So, you _made_ it.” Cold looked pleased. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.” His inimitable drawl was in full form.

Rowan stepped into the space beside Cold at the bar and smiled cockily, though she felt less self-assured than she projected. She noticed that he didn’t seem to have his cold gun with him, which caused her to relax a little.

“Well, it’s not _every_ day someone leaves a cryptic note on my desk inviting me to a mysterious meeting. Accompanied by fair trade chocolate truffles, no less. How could I resist? They were delicious by the way.”

The crook’s smirk deepened. “Don’t _tell_ me you ate them all already.” His drawl had a teasing tone with a hint of mock incredulity.

“No, they’re not quite _all_ gone.” Rowan shrugged and smiled lightly. “I left a few for tomorrow…and I shared some.”

Cold looked inscrutable for a moment. His eyes wandered away to the bar and then back to Rowan. Before he could say anything though, she couldn’t resist voicing the first thing that came into her mind.

“Sooo…this is where Captain Cold comes to _chill_ out, huh?” Rowan smirked playfully.

Cold gave her an almost disbelieving mock glare, then flicked his eyelids downward while shaking his head slightly, accompanied by a small upturning of his lips. When he looked back at her his smile was subtle but genuine. 

“We all need someplace to _defrost_ , I suppose.” His smile lingered for a few beats, then gave way to a more serious expression. “You want a drink before we sit down? Anything to eat?”

“Unhh…maybe some cranberry juice with lime?” 

Cold raised his eyebrows. “Whoa! And I thought I was into the hard stuff.” His eyes glinted as he continued smirking at Rowan.

“I don’t actually drink,” she confided. Her voice held no inflection and her tone was very matter of fact.

Cold’s recurrent smirk gave way to a more thoughtful expression and Rowan imagined he might be wondering if she was an alcoholic. She wasn’t but she didn’t think he needed to know that one way or another so she didn’t elaborate.

Cold flagged the bartender and ordered Rowan her drink and another for himself. 

“Ice?” the bartender asked. 

“Sure,” Rowan responded. “I’m in the mood for something cold.”

Cold shot her an amused glance and Rowan smirked to cover up the fact that this time the pun she’d just made had been accidental. With the alter ego of ‘Cold’ she surmised it must happen to people around him quite a bit.

Rowan ordered some fries too as she suddenly felt like she needed a little something more than she’d had for dinner. She did tend to crave comfort type foods when she was nervous.

When their drinks were ready Cold led the way to one of the few empty booths and waited for her to sit before sliding into the seat across from her. He’d gotten a refill of whatever he’d been drinking when she came in and he took a sip of the clear liquid (rum maybe?) before fixing Rowan with a mischievous stare.

“So, _someone’s_ got quite the sense of humour it turns out,” he drawled after a few moments. “I have to admit when you first broke into my place I didn’t peg you for such a joker…but you had my sister Lisa and my partner Mick laughing their heads off at your little wallet trick. Mostly at my expense I should mention.”

Rowan couldn’t quite read if Cold was annoyed at her or just trying to break the ice. His drawl didn’t betray anything of what he might be truly feeling. She wondered if that was largely why he used it.

She shrugged as a self-satisfied yet playful expression crept across her features. “I figured if you were going to put all that work into trailing me the least I could do would be to make it entertaining…well, for your crew at least if not for you. I’m glad if I succeeded.”

Rowan then set her face into what she thought was a pleasant but neutral expression and tried to glean something from the look in Cold’s eyes. He seemed to be regarding her carefully, apparently attempting to read her too.

She took a sip of her drink. “So, I guess I should be impressed by how easily you were able to get in and out of the CCPD today without being caught; assuming you delivered that little package yourself.” Rowan was genuinely curious how he’d pulled it off.

“Well, I have been known to let myself in here and there every now and then; though usually it’s to take something away, rather than leave something behind.” 

“Like my books and CDs?”

Cold let his eyes flit across the room before returning to Rowan’s. He leaned forward stretching his forearms onto the table and peered up at her mischievously through his rather striking eyelashes.

“Couldn’t let you have all the fun now could I?”

Rowan raised her eyebrows and rolled her eyes subtly. “Guess not.” She couldn’t stop a small smile from lifting the corners of her lips. 

A waitress came over and set Rowan’s fries down, along with some ketchup. There was already pepper on the table but she asked for white vinegar too. Out of basic courtesy, she invited Cold to share the fries but he declined. 

He looked somewhat fascinated as she added a dollop of ketchup to one side of the basket and sprinkled vinegar on top, then unscrewed the pepper shaker top to liberally coat the fries and ketchup / vinegar mix in more pepper than he’d ever seen anyone add to anything.

“Hmmm…so it’s cold drinks but hot food I see.”

“Yeah, well, I like a bit of flavour. And I just love black pepper.”

Rowan ate a few fries and they regarded each other for a couple of moments. Finally, Rowan decided to cut to the chase.

“So, I don’t think I can handle the suspense any longer. What is it you feel we need to talk about?” 

“I don’t _feel_ anything.” Cold’s voice was harsh as he shot Rowan a very pointed look, tensing visibly before relaxing back to his previous state. “I _want_ to talk to you about our deal. I want an update.”

Rowan was taken aback by Cold’s momentary show of irritation. She’d clearly hit a nerve. She made a mental note that the word ‘feel’ seemed to be triggering for him and decided she’d avoid it, at least for now. She reminded herself that, however friendly their banter might seem on the surface, she was still dealing with a hardened criminal with a lot of baggage and she’d best not forget it.

She regarded Cold calmly. “What do you mean, update?” She really had no idea what he could possibly be talking about and wondered if she would regret asking… and ultimately regret having chosen to come tonight at all.

“I mean I want a revision of terms.” Cold’s expression was again unreadable, his eyes intense and his face impassive.

“How so?” Rowan replied after a moment. “You’re going to have to spell this out for me.”

Cold leaned forward again and fingered his drink, seeming to contemplate it, before looking back up at Rowan. “In exchange for my continued cooperation with this whole not hurting anyone deal, I want some assurances from you. I want to know you’re not a danger to anyone _I_ care about.”

Hmm. That wasn’t quite where Rowan thought Cold might be leading. She tilted her head to one side and tried yet again to gauge his true motives. She couldn’t tell if he was being sincere or playing an angle. 

Whichever the case, Rowan was a straight shooter. “I suppose that’s a reasonable request. Consider yourself assured.”

Cold let out what sounded like a totally genuine guffaw and shook his head, allowing his lips to curl into a kind of half smirk, half sneer. “I’m going to need more than just your word on this one Ro.”

“Look Cold…”

“I thought you were calling me Len now.”

“Right…Len.” She paused. “I have zero interest in harming you, anyone you care about or anyone else for that matter. I’m practically vegan and I don’t even kill bugs if I can help it, if that makes you feel any better.”

“ _Practically_ vegan? Hmmm…interesting.” Len’s smirk reappeared faintly but the seriousness in his eyes remained. “That may all very well be but I currently have no way of verifying if any of that’s true or not seeing as, officially, you barely exist.”

Rowan leaned back in her seat and took a deep breath. She reached for a fry to buy some time. 

It was a clever play she had to admit. Whether he truly had concerns about what she might be capable of or not, appealing to her sense of concern for others was smart.

She considered her next words carefully. “Look…Len,” she flicked her eyes up to meet his. “I’m not at liberty to divulge anything about my work…or my past.” She paused. “But I can tell you I’m not involved in anything illegal, immoral or otherwise sketchy.”

Len arched an eyebrow and a grin that would impress the Cheshire cat spread over his face. “Funny you think those are the kinds of things that would reassure me.” 

Rowan’s brow furrowed and her lips pursed. She then let out a small breath of exasperation. “Let me put it to you this way. I have a feeling if you did know what I’ve been working on, you’d be on board with it.”

Len’s face took on a bemused quality. “Not illegal, immoral nor otherwise sketchy but I’d be on board with it, huh? See that just gets me all the more intrigued. What makes you think I’d agree with whatever it is you’re up to?”

“Reading your files.”

Now it was Len’s brow that furrowed. 

Rowan noted his look of concern and suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable. “Oh come on, you didn’t think I’d be holding onto all that information and not read any of it did you?”

Len’s look of displeasure deepened. 

“I mean I didn’t go into your juvie or prison health records, because those are confidential, of course, if that makes you feel any better.”

Len’s face relaxed slightly, but only slightly. Rowan suddenly felt guilty, like she’d violated Len’s privacy. She hadn’t really, at least not legally. As a member of law enforcement she had a right to access most of his criminal files…so why did she feel so bad all of a sudden?

Maybe because it was abruptly all too clear that the man who all those files referred to, Len, was a person and not just a two dimensional criminal, defined by a litany of detached words in a series of bureaucratically prepared documents dating back to the time he was eight and first showed up in the system.

Maybe too because not many people would enjoy the thought of a virtual stranger leafing through records of all the worst parts of their life, including references to their early history of abuse at the hands of their corrupt cop-turned-crook scumbag father.

Rowan had actually considered not reading any parts of Len’s juvie files, just out of a sense of her own ethical ideals because he had never applied to have them sealed. That application would likely have been denied anyway, as his late teens seemed to have been a time when he’d had fairly consistent run-ins with the law, which would have worked against any application to seal his juvie records. 

The truth was, however, that Rowan felt she needed to read at least some of those early records if she wanted to have any chance of understanding who Cold, well Len, was and, to some extent, why he’d become the person he had.

The look in Len’s eyes though, now that she was staring at him across the table with only a couple of feet between them, caused her to totally see how that could be extremely upsetting for him.

In addition, the fact that he couldn’t access any corresponding information about her did represent a power imbalance in their relationship. In spite of Len’s status as an, at times, ruthless super villain, Rowan didn’t feel good about that. However, she couldn’t change any of it at this point either.

“Are you a spy?”

Rowan was jolted out of her reflections by Len’s rather unexpected question.

She shook her head and smiled slightly. “No, I’m not a spy.” 

She was going to just leave it at that but then carefully added after a pause, “My work is classified because it’s sensitive and…as you would know from experience there’s a fair amount of corruption within certain systems; law enforcement and governments, for example. It’s obviously harder for some crooked player to tip off criminal parties if no one who’s not absolutely integral to a project knows what’s going on.”

Okay, that was the absolute most Rowan could say to anyone, least of all a notorious criminal.

Len looked very pensive, as he seemingly reflected on what she’d just said.

“Hmm. Internal Affairs?” He was still trying to dig for more details. Rowan supposed she couldn’t fault him for being persistent.

She smiled again and shook her head definitively. “No.”

Len leaned back in his seat and continued to regard Rowan while looking thoughtful. She fully expected him to keep pressing her with more questions but, after a few moments, he simply said, “All right. For now.”

He shot back the last of his drink and smirked with a glint in his eyes. “In a way it’s too bad though…if you’re not a spy.”

“Why’s that?”

“Spies are sexy.” Len winked and his smirk deepened. 

Rowan fought to keep her face from betraying how the deep tone of his husky voice and what he’d just employed it to say had caused the most indisputable jolt of adrenaline to shoot up through her from certain rather sensitive places. But she recovered quickly.

“Are you saying I’m not sexy…but I would be if I was a spy?”

“No...” 

Rowan immediately found herself wondering if Len meant no to the first part of the question or to the second or…both?

“…but there’s just something about spies that seems so…epic.”

Okay, that was a good word to help settle things back down. It was Rowan’s turn to arch an eyebrow and allow the beginnings of a grin to inhabit her face. “Epic huh?” 

She couldn’t help herself. She burst out laughing. When she was able to, she caught her breath and said as seriously as she could, “Captain Cold has a thing for spies. Okay. Duly noted.”

Len had been observing her laughter with a hint of a genuine smile mixed in with his smirk. 

“If you’re suggesting I have a spy fetish…I’ll admit nothing.”

“Yeah, well, what else is new?” 

Rowan noticed she was suddenly having a much better time in this conversation than she’d thought possible. When he wasn’t being all intense and mildly threatening, Len didn’t seem so bad. At least he had a sense of humour.

She found herself starting to relax and enjoy the back and forth banter to the point that she inwardly warned herself to be careful not to get too relaxed, in case she let something slip that she shouldn’t. 

As a precaution, she boldly seized the opportunity the light repartee afforded to call Len out on what she suspected might have been his overall scheme of the evening. 

“Just so we’re clear, you’re not going to succeed in seducing me into revealing anything about myself just by batting your eyelashes and acting all flirty. You can use that sexy drawl of yours on me as much as you like. Ultimately, it’s not going to work.”

Len’s eyes took on a hint of genuine surprise at her words. “ _Batting_ my eyelashes?” 

His voice rose incredulously at the end of the question as he quirked his head to one side and blinked. “Not sure _that’s_ a fair accusation. Flirting a bit now and then sure but…hmmm. So you think my voice is _sexy_?” 

Len’s tone had suddenly dropped at least half an octave and was extra husky. He elongated the last word even longer than he normally tended towards, his features transitioning from surprise to reflective satisfaction in record time. 

“Oh, come on. As if you’re all innocent and unaware. And don’t even try to suggest you’re not doing all that on purpose.”

“All what?” 

Rowan honestly couldn’t be sure Len’s ‘oh so innocent’ expression wasn’t at least somewhat genuine. He must be one hell of an actor, she had to give him that.

“Pullleeease. You know exactly what you’re doing every time you open your mouth.”

Len switched back to his smug, self-satisfied mien. “So you’re saying I’m exceptionally skilled with my mouth?”

“I’m saying you’re not nearly as subtle as you seem to think you are.”

“Not sure I’ve ever been accused of being subtle Ro.”

“Now _that_ I believe. It’s high time someone called you out on everything else though.”

Len quirked an eyebrow while lowering his eyes, a small smile playing at his lips again. If Rowan hadn’t known better, she might have thought he looked slightly shy for a moment, maybe even embarrassed. When his eyes lifted again, however, he was back to looking just as self-satisfied as ever.

“You _say_ that as if you’re not enjoying the show. Somehow I find that hard to believe.”

Just when Rowan thought they might continue along this rather silly, though fun vein indefinitely, Len abruptly changed the subject again, pulling things back from the brink so to speak.

“So, tell me something Ro. Aren’t you worried about being seen in public with a known felon? Aren’t cops supposed to keep their distance to avoid being pegged as corrupt?”

Rowan let out a breath. The banter had been fun while it lasted.

“I thought we’d already established I’m a different kind of cop.”

“Well, _that’s_ certainly true.” 

Len’s eyes suddenly softened and Rowan felt an unexpected wave of heat between them. For a moment it was as if she’d briefly glimpsed behind the mask that Leonard Snart always wore and for the first time she’d looked into his eyes with no filters blocking their projection of his inner self.

She had an urge to look away to escape the intensity of the sensations her body was experiencing but found she couldn’t.

She cleared her throat. “I’m pretty sure I’m safe from any accusations of corruption based on this meeting alone,” Rowan managed to say in a fairly even voice, despite her inner state of turbulence.

There was a particularly loud clattering of plates at another table and they both broke eye contact at the same time. When they looked back at each other the filters were back in place and the moment had passed.

Not long afterwards Rowan finished her fries, with Len having sampled a few after all, saying he was curious how they’d taste with the ketchup / vinegar mix and all that pepper. He’d conceded they were pretty good. They exchanged some more fairly light, if cheeky, banter but a short time later they decided to call it a night.

Len followed Rowan out the door and, to her surprise, offered her a ride home on his motorcycle. She thanked him but declined, explaining it wasn’t too far a walk and she needed all the exercise she could get lately.

“Suit yourself,” he drawled. “Maybe some other time.” He winked decadently and smirked. Rowan suddenly wondered if Len even _could_ go a whole 60 seconds without smirking. Or even 30 seconds…or 10?

With that he secured his helmet, revved up his bike and, with a nod, rode off toward the street turning out of sight, leaving Rowan alone in the laneway outside Saints and Sinners staring after him. As averse as she was to admit it, a part of her regretted having said no to the ride.


	5. Battle Scars

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to note that this chapter is mostly exposition but I hope it will still be interesting. The first part is Rowan's inner reflections and POV and the second part is Len's inner reflections and POV. Thanks so much for reading! (:

Rowan lay in bed that night tossing and turning, trying her best to clear her mind so she could drift off to sleep, but sleep just would not come. 

She had already gotten up and made herself some ‘Sleepytime’ tea but she’d finished that an hour ago and her mind was still roiling over the events of the last day and a half with no signs of slowing down any time soon. 

She anxiously checked the clock beside her bed again. 3:34 am. She had to get up for work in a few hours and, even though it was a Friday, she had an early morning meeting she couldn’t miss so sleeping in or going in late were just not options.

Rowan sat up in bed and decided to just give up on the notion of getting a decent night’s sleep, or maybe any sleep at all. Snuggles was stretched out beside her and shifted as Rowan moved, curling into a position that looked both snug and awkward at the same time.

Various bits of her conversation with Leonard Snart kept repeating over and over in her mind and she couldn’t help reflecting on what it all meant. Most annoyingly, every time she closed her eyes she saw his face…his eyes…his smirk. _Damn_ that relentless smirk!

As she sat with her back propped against her pillow, which was in turn propped against the wall, she reflected on how she had entangled herself in all this…silliness. 

When this whole situation began it had all seemed so straightforward. Rowan had not thought twice about confronting Cold…Len that day a few months ago after she’d heard what he’d done to Barry and her friends. 

(Len… was she really calling him that, even in her own head now?)

It was very unlike her to do anything so rash. Rowan was normally an extremely disciplined person, not one to rush into things without deliberating exhaustively over the merits and drawbacks of all available options. 

However, when Caitlin and Cisco told her what had happened with the metas, she’d just felt so angry at the crook for making such a big deal about how he was ‘a man of his word’ only to turn around and not only allow some very dangerous people to escape back into society, but he’d almost gotten Barry killed into the bargain. 

Though likely unintentional, his actions had also led to the deaths of the A.R.G.U.S. crew on the plane that Mardon took down, so that was another brutal consequence of his self-serving actions. On top of all that, he’d frozen Jake Simmons’ face off. 

Barry had tried so hard to figure out a way to save all the metas’ lives while keeping everyone safe from them; and then the consummate criminal Captain Cold had screwed over just about everyone. 

Granted, Rowan had to admit she’d had some extremely serious reservations about the original plan to just dump the metas in some unofficial secret A.R.G.U.S. prison in the North China Sea and leave them there indefinitely. However, she also had to concede that she couldn’t come up with a better idea given the time frame the Star Labs team was working with. 

And as far from perfect as the extra-legal international transport plan was, it actually seemed like the metas would end up with marginally better living arrangements at the A.R.G.U.S. facility than they’d had in the pipeline, which, admittedly, wasn’t really saying much. 

The pipeline cells had been an entirely unethical and unsustainable way of housing the metas, and their existence had truly shocked Rowan when she’d found out about them. She’d only learned of them when Barry asked for her help deleting Len’s files because he’d had to explain why he was doing it, which led to him explaining the urgent need to move the metas and the danger they were in if they couldn’t find a new place for them within less than 24 hours. 

Despite her reservations about the whole operation, Rowan had felt compelled to help, given the desperate nature of the situation. 

She had been working on an important task of her own that day and only had enough time to drop off the stealth program Barry had asked her for that would delete Len’s files without leaving any trace of what had happened to them. Cisco was too busy putting together his containment system to deal with that piece of the plan and Rowan was happy to help out in whatever small way she could.

She sensed there were larger things afoot that Barry and his team hadn’t shared with her, but she trusted they had their reasons for not telling her everything. 

While leaving Star Labs she had spontaneously and discreetly grabbed a few items from the evidence boxes Barry had already retrieved from various law enforcement offices, just in case things didn’t go quite to plan. She hadn’t been able to stick around for the evening’s events and only found out about all that had transpired after the fact. 

Rowan wasn’t usually one to judge people harshly no matter who they were without good reason, but she had felt personally affronted by Len’s behaviour towards her friends. She had gleaned from the few times she’d met him before the whole meta fiasco that he was just so damn good at turning on the charm. She could totally see how he’d gotten Barry to believe he could be more than just a cold-hearted, ruthless criminal, only to turn on a dime and prove he was exactly that. 

And on top of everything, he had the sheer chutzpah to try and suggest that it was all on Barry for having trusted him in the first place, implying that Barry should become less of the compassionate, trusting sweetheart he was. That had really made Rowan’s blood boil. 

Over the few months she’d gotten to know them, Rowan had developed a strong, almost motherly affection for Barry, Cisco, Caitlin and Iris. They were so young and smart, dedicated and full of goodness and hope and compassion. She wanted to protect them from at least some of the dangers and harshness that they were up against, and that included the jaded Leonard Snarts of the world; even if she did also worry they were a bit too trusting and naïve at times. 

Still, Rowan didn’t want the world to ever fully crush those qualities in her young friends and she intended to do her best to shield them from at least some of the worst the world could throw at them.

Right after Cisco and Caitlin told Rowan all that had happened, she’d contacted some of her well-connected undercover law enforcement associates to get the drop on where Len was the day after the Ferris Air debacle. She’d located him easily enough at one of his safe houses, exactly where she’d been told she’d find him.

She had staked out the place briefly, determined he was alone, and proceeded to break past all his various levels of security with relative ease. He had a good, solid system in place but Rowan was highly skilled and well used to getting in and out of all sorts of places she needed to access covertly while doing her job; a job she was _very_ good at. 

She hadn’t known how Len would react to her invasion of his space or her revelations that he hadn’t quite gotten away with all that he thought he had. Rowan was so pissed off though she had thrown hesitation and caution to the wind and had just forged ahead and done it.

Even though she’d met him twice before briefly and had observed both those times that he was exceptionally emotionally controlled while also capable of being witty and a smooth talker, she hadn’t quite been prepared for how those qualities would affect her as she went head to head with him. He also wasn’t nearly as…well… _cold_ as she’d expected he would be.

After their exchange, when she’d gotten clear of his space and reviewed all that had passed between them, she had to admit she was surprised at how well he’d absorbed the situation she’d thrown at him…and how much less angry she felt now that she’d let him have an, albeit measured, piece of her mind. 

More than anything though, she was surprised and a bit annoyed at how much she’d enjoyed some of their sparring. Enjoyment had not been on her agenda at all. It worried her because it suggested Len’s infamous charisma worked at least a little on her too; and that had not been part of her plan. 

To be fair, a good portion of her pleasure flowed from the fact she had so clearly and totally dominated the situation from start to finish. She relished the thought of showing a tough male criminal at the top of his game like Len that she could get the better of him without even breaking a sweat. 

She was still deeply pissed off too that he had kidnapped Caitlin and then Cisco and his brother, so she felt she was sending a message on that front as well. She hoped she’d made it clear that Len should back off messing with her friends because Barry wasn’t the only threat to his ongoing freedom in town.

She knew she’d gotten under his skin no matter how cool he’d played things. He’d clearly been angry when he learned his files hadn’t been totally destroyed. But he’d regrouped quickly and held himself together, becoming strangely calmer when Rowan had pulled his own gun on him. 

It was as if he’d concluded immediately that he couldn’t win that particular round so he’d opted to play toward a draw so he could live to fight, and maybe win, another day.

Rowan found that reaction particularly intriguing.

In her fairly extensive experience dealing with hardened criminals, Rowan had come to the conclusion that most were not particularly smart...and almost none were as smart as they thought they were. 

Leonard Snart, however, displayed a very rare combination of strategic intelligence, emotional discipline and disarming charisma that could either suggest he was not quite the cold, ruthless all around danger to society he seemed to want to portray himself to be or…he was exactly the cold, ruthless all around danger to society he portrayed himself to be.

His considerable intellect, well evidenced by his quick-witted repartees, only made him potentially more dangerous. That, coupled with his undeniably off-the-charts level of physical attractiveness and downright simmering sex appeal could so easily cause just about anyone to drop their guard around him and underestimate him as a threat. Rowan could totally see how Barry had ended up doing just that. She had to keep reminding herself not to make the same mistake.

The first time Rowan had met Len was at the CCPD while he was being processed after Barry had caught him and Heatwave when they’d engineered the epic face off with the Flash in downtown Central City. She’d seen both criminals brought through the precinct in handcuffs and had been struck, like most everyone else, by the stark contrast in how the two men responded to their situation.

Mick Rory was yelling, making threats and fighting every step of the way while Leonard Snart calmly let himself be led through the cheering officers, registering nothing more than a scowl. He was obviously unhappy but also appeared acutely observant, his eyes darting around and clearly taking in every aspect of the scene around him. It seemed to Rowan that he was already scheming how to get himself out of his current jam.

There was a fairly long list of charges against both men, including but not limited to: murder; attempted murder; assault police; armed robbery; theft over $5000; kidnapping; forcible confinement; assault causing bodily harm; uttering threats; assault with a weapon; threats with a weapon; and a slew of property damage charges. Processing took all night.

By the next morning they were still at the precinct being held in two separate holding rooms in preparation for their transfer to Iron Heights Prison. It was when Len was being led to the armoured vehicle that would take him there that Rowan had her first brief interaction with him. 

She was in a hallway waiting for a colleague to bring her a file she’d asked for when the officers guarding him paused to collect some paperwork for the transport. Len stopped right in front of her and their eyes met as Rowan looked up from something she was reading.

She was immediately struck by the focused intensity of his gaze; his penetrating glare. He looked tired but oddly calm considering he was about to be packed off for a possible life sentence behind bars.

Rowan had nothing to say really, so was about to look away when Leonard Snart smirked at her and cheekily asked, “So, what are _you_ in for?”

Rowan had responded with a slightly surprised smirk of her own and hesitated a bit before saying, “Well, I’m really not at liberty to say but it seems I’ve been sentenced to a lifetime of paperwork with no chance of parole…apparently ever.”

Snart’s smirk had deepened and he’d feigned sympathy. “Sounds rough. No wonder I stick to crime making instead of crime fighting. So much more fun.”

Rowan couldn’t be sure but she thought he might have winked at her as he was hustled away

The exchange itself was not what Rowan remembered most about that meeting. It was the double impression she’d had of the man in those first few moments.

Rowan tended to be a very good judge of character. She always had been, even as a child. If she had an uncomfortable feeling about someone, there usually turned out to be a good reason for it. Conversely, if she had positive feelings toward a person when she first met them, they usually turned out to warrant them.

A couple of times in her life though, Rowan had experienced a double impression upon first meeting someone. In these cases in the past, it was the second impression that always ended up being the more accurate one, reflecting a deeper truth.

Rowan’s very first impression of Leonard Snart was of a cold, arrogant, angry and uncaring person. Those were her thoughts as she’d watched him entering the precinct. 

However, they almost immediately gave way to a very strong sense that no, there was actually someone very, very different underneath the surface; a deeply guarded and sensitive soul who felt things very profoundly but didn’t express much due to a learned need to protect himself. 

At first she’d thought her double impression talent must be malfunctioning. However, over the last couple of months since she’d confronted him in his safe house, that second impression had started to give Rowan a lot of pause.

In particular, when she actually read through Len’s files, she began to think her instincts may have proven legitimate once again. While she didn’t delve into his juvie files in earnest, she skimmed enough to learn that he and his sister had clearly been severely abused by their crooked cop-turned-criminal father over a very lengthy period; and despite various notes from some clearly concerned social workers peppered throughout, they’d never received any real assistance from a single government or social agency the entire time. 

In fact, it looked as if there had been an awful lot of people looking the other way or outright covering up for Lewis Snart over the years.

Rowan found that revelation both heart wrenching and infuriating. She wondered what kind of man Len would have become if he hadn’t been left alone to survive all he’d suffered throughout his childhood and youth with only an abusive criminal for a ‘guardian’. She couldn’t bring herself to think of his father as a parent.

The more she read the more she started to develop a certain respect for Len, at least his younger self. She couldn’t avoid feeling that no matter how much he might dispute the idea, he had in fact been a hero the whole time, in all the ways the records recounted his apparent attempts to protect his little sister. He must have been very brave and empathetic from an early age in order to do that. Eventually, life must have just worn him down.

As she lay awake, her most recent observations and interactions with him continued to play on her mind, causing her to wonder who Leonard Snart really was at this point in his life. 

She couldn’t shake her knowledge that he’d kidnapped her friends and tortured Cisco’s brother, freezing his hands to force Cisco to reveal that Barry was the Flash. There was no denying the cold brutality of that action.

However, Rowan also couldn’t help but admit that if she hadn’t known about those events and that he was a career criminal suspected of countless armed bank, jewel and art heists, as well as a handful of murders of fellow criminals and at least one innocent civilian, Rowan might actually tend towards…liking him? He’d never said or done anything in her presence she could really fault him for…and there were a few things he’d said and done that kind of…intrigued her. 

He seemed to have a progressive bent and treated Rowan like an equal, which was not something that happened much with the male criminals she was used to dealing with. They were another lot entirely. Even some of her male colleagues at the CCPD made it clear they neither liked nor respected, let alone trusted her.

She couldn’t help but wonder if all that was part of an act though; the cynical super villain pretending to be more open and progressive than he actually was in order to throw everyone off his true nature and intentions.

However, she was starting to believe it most likely wasn’t an act. 

Rowan had shadowed Len a few times since breaking in on him, even as he was trailing her. She was skilled enough that she could sneak in some brief opportunities to counter-trail him and catch glimpses of his habits. 

She learned that the majority of his socialising involved hanging out with his sister Lisa or his criminal partner Mick. Other than that, and a few brief meetings with other Rogue elements around town, he seemed to spend a lot of time alone, much like Rowan did.

She observed him spending time with Mick Rory at a pretty dingy strip joint once but Len seemed pretty disinterested in being there, unlike his partner who appeared much more enthusiastic. Rowan got the impression Len was only there because Mick wanted to be.

What interested her most though, was what happened outside as they were leaving. Some sexist jerks were harassing some women walking by, to the point that Rowan thought she might have to reveal herself and intervene. 

Instead, Len shot his partner a look and they both got up in the faces of the harassing idiots and, while Rowan couldn’t make out what was said, it was very quickly enough to get the asshats to turn tail smartly and skedaddle. Len nodded at the women who thanked him and Mick, and then they all went their separate ways.

Considering all that Rowan knew of their crimes, this incident had struck her as somewhat surprising. Up until that point, she’d only ever heard of Len doing whatever it took to advance his own interests, no matter who got harmed in the process. The only obvious exceptions involved looking out for his sister and Mick. Observing that exchange added to Rowan’s impression that there was more to Len than met the eye.

She knew he had never been charged with any form of harassment or violence against women, nor had he ever registered as sadistic or all out evil in spite of his most serious crimes; but he had shown himself on more than one occasion to be capable of being brutal. 

Now it appeared that he could also be decent, when he felt like it. That incident, coupled with some very surprising and substantial donations she discovered Leonard Snart had made to various grass roots NGOs around the world over the years, under a multitude of aliases, revealed a side to the man Rowan would never have suspected.

As she’d observed him snooping around her apartment she’d also overheard some of his wry and rather humorous exchanges with Snuggles. She’d found it impossible not to smile at his apparent affinity for animals, or at least cats, when he didn’t realise anyone else was watching or listening.

As Rowan lay sleepless, propped against her pillow with her arms crossed in front of her, frowning at the fatigue that was starting to hammer at her brain in earnest, she finally admitted to herself one of the main reasons she was struggling so much with all of this. 

Truthfully, she felt guilty for how much she enjoyed interacting with Len and how much she felt drawn to him when they were together. She also had to admit, as much as she absolutely hated to, that she was somewhat afraid of him…because, if he was playing her, he was doing an excellent job of it. After all, he didn’t have to be all out evil in every aspect of his life to deceive and put one over on her.

She had never meant to do anything other than to warn him off causing her friends any more harm. Now her mind was doing gymnastics to try and reconcile the contradictions she perceived in all that she knew and /or suspected about him. 

Rowan sighed loudly and pressed her pillow back down on the bed, letting her head sink back onto it. Snuggles lifted her head to look at her and then settled back into a comfortable position, letting out a sleepy sigh of her own.

Rowan resolved to try to get to sleep once more and her exhaustion convinced her she might even make it this time. 

Leonard Snart was a complex enigma she might just have to accept as such and relegate to the ‘inexplicable’ file she kept in her brain, along with questions such as the nature of the universe and why some people insisted on stopping in the doorway immediately upon entering a subway train when other people were still trying to get on behind them. 

Some things just could not be figured out or explained and Leonard Snart was likely just one of those.

~

Len lay sprawled out naked on his back, the sheets of his comfortable king sized bed kicked off to the sides as he lay in the oppressive heat of the steamy July night. In spite of being ‘Captain Cold’, Len just wasn’t a big fan of air conditioning. 

He stared up at the ceiling fan going full tilt above him and contemplated the events of the last few days. 

He was used to not sleeping well and had realised a while ago that this might be one of those nights when his mind just would not allow him to drift off at all. He had been trying to figure out what exactly it was that had him so…keyed up? Restless? Perplexed? Excited? Maybe even a tad nervous? Afraid?

Len knew all too well that he’d had a very unhealthy and unstable upbringing and it caused him to have a lot of difficulty expressing his feelings. Well, never mind expressing them, he tended to inwardly suppress his feelings altogether as a defence mechanism. It was a way to avoid all the pain that generally accompanied most interactions he had in his life outside of his utilitarian work related ones.

That didn’t mean he was entirely unaware of feelings when he had them though. Len had never quite repressed himself enough to lose all self-awareness in that respect. He had just become extremely adept at ignoring and dismissing them most of the time, unless they were related to Lisa or, occasionally, Mick. The result, however, was that he often had a hard time identifying what feelings he was having when they occurred. 

At the moment, Len found himself struggling more than usual to figure out what exactly he was feeling because there seemed to be a more complex mix of the pesky things roiling around inside of him than ever and he just couldn’t place all of them, let alone figure out where they were coming from.

His meeting with Rowan earlier that evening was obviously the catalyst for this annoying development. Len just wasn’t at all sure why.

One thing he had figured out; he had in fact enjoyed the meeting. Even more than he’d anticipated...more than he cared to admit, or think about. 

Len recognised that over the last number of years he’d become less and less social, which was largely why enjoying himself with someone other than Lisa or Mick felt so odd.

When he was younger and had first gotten himself and Lisa out from under the abusive thumb of their father Lewis, Len had sought out companionship like a starving man, grasping for breadcrumbs.

Already his exterior shell came across as reserved, even aloof at times; but inside he was a desperately lonely soul, yearning for some form of connection and companionship he had so seldom experienced as a child or teenager. 

He’d found some of that when he met Mick in juvie, but Mick was already pretty damaged and tough at that point so there was only so far either one of them would let the other breach their walls.

Len really had no idea at first how to try and get close to other people, but he soon realised that a _lot_ of people seemed to find him attractive…like, extremely attractive. Men, women, gender fluid, you name it, countless people he met at that time of his life seemed to find him appealing and desirable, if not irresistible. 

The first time he figured this out he’d just wrapped up a successful heist and had divvied up the take among his partners. The sole female in the group lingered after the others had left and very quickly made it clear she had interests in him beyond just work.

Len fell into that proposition like a man falling out of an airplane with no parachute. He drank in every ounce of physical affection he could, his body touch starved yet hesitant, as almost every physical contact he’d experienced up until that point in his life had been violent, or through his attempts to comfort Lisa in the wake of violence.

Len had enjoyed that first dalliance. Though it hadn’t lasted long, it taught him a lot and set him on a path to gaining more and more confidence taking up the offers he got, until he was the one propositioning just about every person he found the least bit attractive.

He relished the attention and the thrill of taking all sorts of interesting people to bed. He was always careful, always used protection and always made sure he wasn’t taking advantage and doing something his partner du jour didn’t want. 

Len might not have known much about how to be a person, but he knew two things: one, he needed to take care of himself, because he was the only one who ever would; and two, he didn’t ever want to be like his father, someone who used people for his own ends, regardless of how much he hurt them.

He also realised during that time of his life that he was open to and drawn to people based on who they were and how they treated him, regardless of their gender. He wasn’t familiar with the term pansexual at the time, but later he would realise that was what he was.

All went well enough for a few years going along in this way but, at some point, Len noticed his profound loneliness was still present, creeping back into his consciousness at inopportune moments.

Just when he was on the verge of becoming depressed about his seeming lack of ability to form anything more than short-term casual attachments, he met Devon, a young, enthusiastic techie who worked at a legitimate computer store Len frequented when he actually wanted some non-stolen equipment for himself.

Devon flirted with Len shamelessly and, at some point, a bluff was called, dinner was had and, well, Len never was one to turn down an enticing invitation.

Len fell deeply, madly in love and for the first time ever he felt like maybe his shitty upbringing was something he could overcome after all.

Devon was smart, fun and, best of all, seemed to have fallen hard for Len too. Everything went great for a while, until one fateful day when Devon came across some of Len’s lock picking equipment while rummaging around in various drawers at Len’s place while searching for a band aid. 

Len had been planning to tell Devon for a while about his occupation…and at least some of how he’d come to be a thief, but he just hadn’t worked up the nerve yet. He figured he’d been right not to afterwards because Devon dropped Len like a hot potato when he found out. He didn’t even give Len a chance to try to explain or apologise for not being more up front sooner.

If Len had been on the verge of depression before, he fell into a void of despair when Devon left him. Thankfully Lisa was there to support him as best she could through it all but it was still a horrible time in Len’s life that he tried his best to forget. He drank heavily to attempt to dull the pain and came close to succumbing to the lure of harder drugs but, fortunately, Lisa kept him from making that mistake.

Eventually Len was able to move on a bit, though he still felt shitty. He decided broken hearts were something to avoid at all costs and he’d be best off not letting himself be deluded…best off not letting himself get attached to anyone ever again.

Len still slept around here and there, though less and less as the years went by. He never made the mistake of letting himself fall for anyone again though. Too dangerous. Too painful. Too complicated.

He’d learned his lesson. Love and loneliness were vulnerabilities, so he methodically severed his connections to all parts of himself capable of feeling them.

As time went on, the cold, hard exterior Len showed the world became closer and closer to what he felt like inside. Any feelings that stirred within him he quickly relegated to the sidelines, becoming a detached, dispassionate, cool operator, managing his life with a stony efficiency he came to take comfort in. 

Within his walls of icy indifference, Len felt some measure of safety.

Sure he could joke around and relate fairly well to Lisa and Mick, and he did thoroughly enjoy planning and executing a good heist and more recently messing with the Flash but, beyond that, Len left his feelings alone.

Until, it seemed, he’d started interacting with a mysterious woman named Rowan.

Len reflected that Rowan was the first person other than Lisa or Mick that he’d sat across from in a bar and had an actual conversation with that involved genuine laughter in…well, a very long time. 

He knew that he’d begun thawing lately already, having started to find his exchanges with Barry Allen more enjoyable recently, now that he was no longer out to kill the kid. 

But Barry was still a bit of a killjoy. Sure he was good for some pun-filled banter, but he also tended toward a certain amount of tsk-tsking and lecturing Len about how bad he’d been on whatever given occasion and how he could be so much more than a criminal. Every time Len heard Barry say something along those lines what he really heard was, “You’re such a worthless crook and, until you convert to the hero team, your whole life will continue to be worthless”.

As Len stared at the ceiling, he started to piece together why he enjoyed his interactions with Rowan so much. Sure, she’d been angry that time she broke into his safe house and scolded him about letting the metas loose. Since then though, she seemed to have relaxed somewhat, and was playing defence with him rather than offence. 

Len’s mind drifted back to the incident that had set off the whole strange series of events that had culminated in his meeting with Rowan earlier that evening. In defence of his actions that fateful night at Ferris Air, he really hadn’t anticipated Mardon taking the A.R.G.U.S. plane down. Len had thought he’d be able to manage the situation a bit better but…there was no use dwelling on that now. 

And he’d be damned if he was going to feel bad about taking out Jake Simmons of all people. That creep gave crooks like himself a bad name. Len might have done a lot of crappy things in his life but he generally drew the line at randomly killing civilians. The one time he’d ended up doing so it had been a…very unfortunate miscalculation.

Rowan hadn’t liked how Len had treated her friends and she clearly wasn’t on board with the whole recklessly endangering or killing people thing, but otherwise she seemed to accept him for who and what he was. It also helped that she didn’t seem to be afraid of him.

Occasionally, at the bar, Len even got the impression she might actually…like him a bit…or bits of him…maybe? Leastways, she didn’t talk to him like he was total garbage, or so much less than he could be, which he appreciated. 

If anything, Rowan talked to him like he was a regular person, albeit one with a not so legal profession. Len sensed a certain amount of respect from Rowan, which he was not used to receiving from non-criminals…maybe with even a smidge of understanding, or…empathy, or…compassion mixed in? 

He wasn’t used to contemplating such things so he was struggling to name them.

Len also couldn’t help but admit to himself that he felt more respect for Rowan than he did for most people. It wasn’t just that she was challenging him and giving him a run for his money, though that was definitely a large and enjoyable part of it. He appreciated her straightforward, no bullshit style of communication and that she wasn’t so easily charmed or fooled. It would be a genuine challenge to win her over, if that was even possible.

She seemed to be a layered and thoughtful individual with an inquisitive and reflective bent. Len liked those qualities in a person. She had appeared to genuinely care too, when she noticed how upset Len was at finding out she’d been reading through his files. There was something that flashed in her eyes for a moment, like regret at doing something that had caused Len to feel uncomfortable. 

Regardless of his own behaviour and persona, Len actually held kindness and compassion in high regard, when it was sincere. Len sensed Rowan was a sincerely kind person underneath her somewhat reserved and tough exterior. He liked the tough exterior part too though, and the fact that she could clearly take care of herself.

Dammit! His plan to charm Rowan into divulging more about herself had worked to some extent…but if Len wasn’t careful he was in danger of it backfiring. Rowan was charming the hell out of _him_ and she didn’t even seem to be doing it on purpose.

How had he gotten himself wrapped up in all this nonsense again?

Len suddenly realised he was truly, profoundly exhausted and so he rolled onto his side, adjusting his pillow to be comfortable beneath his head. He smiled slightly to himself as he recalled Rowan laughing at his line about the spies. She had an infectious laugh. Len reflected that he wouldn’t mind hearing more of that laugh.

He wondered if it would be too weird for him to become kind of friend…ish with a cop…or whatever the hell Rowan was exactly. He’d gleaned a fair amount about her personality from their meeting, but so much about her still remained a mystery. 

A mystery that Len was finding more and more deliciously intriguing.

Len decided that whatever strange mix of ‘ugh’ feelings he was experiencing it wasn’t all bad…in fact, it felt mostly good. He started to drift off with more of an upturn to his lips than he’d had while falling asleep in a long time.


	6. No Brainers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading this story and thanks so much for the kudos and bookmark! Comments are still very welcome too! Just a heads up that this is the chapter with a scene where some jerks hurt a dog. The actual act is quick and not graphic and most of this chapter deals with holding the perps accountable and looking after the dog...because neither Len nor Rowan stand for that kind of shit. I wanted to warn everyone just in case though, as it might be disturbing to some readers. There is also some sexist language in this chapter but not too bad. More swearing in general than other chapters too.

As he turned the corner onto the small side street, Len reflected on how he hadn’t really been keeping much of an eye on Rowan’s place over the past few weeks. After their meeting at Saints and Sinners he’d relaxed somewhat regarding their…arrangement. Plus, he’d gotten a bit preoccupied with planning for a job that popped up on his radar the day after that meeting. 

He’d managed to keep the whole ‘meeting up with Rowan’ thing from Lisa and Mick, which he was relieved about. They would have teased him endlessly about it had they known.

Planning for the job was almost complete and Len found himself with a free Saturday and an urge to get out of the safe house he’d been holed up in, at least for a few hours. He’d spontaneously decided to drop off Rowan’s CDs and most of her books back to her place. 

He’d already loaded all the CDs onto his iTunes and had read all but two of the books he’d borrowed so he figured he might as well return what he was done with so she wouldn’t be without them for too long. No point in antagonizing her after all, especially since they’d seemed to come to some sort of understanding as a result of their meeting at his favourite bar.

And it was good to get some fresh air and accomplish some non-work related errands now and then, he told himself. If he hoped Rowan might be home when he got there for a quick exchange of light-hearted barbs, well, that was no big deal right?

Len knew she had been home earlier that morning because he saw her go outside to her backyard and then go back in again a while later, via the camera he still had set up outside her door. He was kind of surprised she hadn’t found and dismantled it yet but…maybe Rowan wasn’t _quite_ as sharp as she’d first seemed.

As Len was nearing the courtyard outside her apartment he heard a sound like a dog whining, as if in pain. He registered the ominous sound of men laughing, and then a familiar sounding female voice saying something he couldn’t quite make out.

He slowed his pace and edged his way behind the foliage he had come to rely on to stay hidden upon his approach to Rowan’s place. As he positioned himself so he could see the courtyard, he spied that she was a few paces from her front door…apparently facing off against three men. No one else seemed to be around.

One of the men was holding onto a small dog that was squirming in his arms and whimpering. Len’s hackles immediately went up. He was not impressed by the looks of these men at all. Their body language and tones all spelled the kind of trouble Len did _not_ like.

“Let me put it to you this way…” He could now make out what Rowan was saying in a very low, controlled voice. “Put the dog down _gently_ , or I’ll have to arrest you for animal cruelty.”

“Wow, bitch is gonna arrest us, did you hear that? I’m so fucking scared!” The guy closest to Rowan spat out with a sneer in an ugly and mocking voice.

“Yeah, show us your badge if you’re a cop, bitch,” another one snickered.

The man holding the dog, who hadn’t spoken yet, turned slightly and Len observed an evil, sadistic looking smile on his face. “You want me to put the dog down, huh?”

“Gently,” Rowan repeated in her steely tone. The third guy sneered and, without hesitation, casually threw the small dog in the direction of a fence at the other side of the courtyard.

Len’s jaw clenched and he was suddenly glad he’d brought his cold gun. He didn’t always have it on him these days, unlike the first few months after he’d obtained it when it was still totally exciting and novel, but he’d opted to bring it with him today for some reason. Len often had a sixth sense about these things.

The poor dog hit the fence and then the ground, letting out a yelp. Len flinched inwardly. The small canine then seemed to have difficulty righting itself as it struggled to get up and possibly try to run away. 

Len felt a surge of disgust and rage course through him and was about to step forward out of his hiding place to tell (and show) these assholes in no uncertain terms what he thought of their behaviour when he saw Rowan step in front of one of the men who was moving to grab the dog again while he and the other men laughed.

He reached out his arm to grab Rowan or push her out of the way but she expertly, and with little apparent effort, grabbed his wrist instead, twisted his arm behind him and had him on the ground, tango cheeks with the gravel, in a couple of seconds flat. From her jacket pocket she produced a pair of CCPD issue handcuffs (Len was pretty familiar with those) and, with that, asshole number one was dealt with.

Rowan stood up smoothly and faced the other two. 

“You know, there are few things I enjoy more in life than watching what happens when a bully, or in this case bullies, makes the mistake of picking on what they think is an easy target only to run into someone who’s not actually weaker than they are.”

Rowan looked like she could go on but then decided to wait to see what these particular shit for guts bullies would do.

“Fuck, get her already!” the jerk on the ground gritted out as he squirmed around in the handcuffs. The two men who remained standing looked menacingly at Rowan and moved closer to her. Rowan’s face remained impassive as she stood her ground.

Len tensed, ready to end this nonsense if it got out of hand but he held back out of curiosity as to how Rowan would handle the situation. He saw that the little dog was still crouched near the fence, possibly injured, and shivering, likely out of fear.

The two jerks lunged at Rowan from opposite directions and Len thought he caught a glimpse of her rolling her eyes as she stepped easily out of their reach at the last second and they knocked up against each other, one punching the other in the jaw, the other landing a blow to the first’s stomach.

Len stifled a laugh. Even for violent bullies who picked on small defenceless animals, these three were pathetic.

Still undeterred, however, the men went for Rowan again and this time she engaged them both at once, blocking and deflecting their blows easily, landing a few good punches of her own before kicking the feet out from under first one, then the other idiot, both of them ending up as moaning heaps on the ground.

It was clear to Len that Rowan had pretty advanced martial arts training. Her movements were simple, fluid, efficient and extremely effective. These assholes had never stood a chance really, but Len still felt a certain admiration for Rowan having the guts to take them all on at once. _Damn_ , she really would make such a great Rogue!

He had a momentary musing that Rowan reminded him of a cobra before realising that was the wrong analogy. No, her approach was like the slow and inexorable force of water and time rather than the spectacular eruption of ice and fire.

Len refocused quickly, setting aside for now the profound and poetic thoughts his criminal persona never betrayed.

These jerks were the epitome of the phrase ‘underbelly of society’ and Len didn’t mind so much a cop taking their asses down. That, at least, seemed like a worthwhile job to be doing. He could never get enough of witnessing idiots who picked on those weaker than themselves having their asses handed to them. Besides, he’d always had a weakness for those people who managed to do the handing.

Rowan moved to secure one of the most recently fallen jerks when Len noticed the third make a move to retrieve something from inside his jacket.

He seized that moment to finally step out of his hiding place and power up his cold gun. The futuristic sound immediately drew the attention of all four humans in the courtyard and the dog, as Len strode forward pointing the gun at the man who, it turned out, had been reaching for a pretty ugly looking knife. 

Len may not have figured out exactly how he felt about Rowan yet, but he was completely clear on how he felt about this particular situation and the three assholes on the ground.

“I’d put the knife down if I were you hot shot,” Len drawled with a fierce looking snarl on his face. “Unless you want to end up a turd shaped popsicle.”

Rowan had just finished securing asshole number two’s hands with another set of cuffs. Her head whipped around in time to see asshole number three slowly laying his knife down on the ground as he stared up wide eyed at the rather formidable looking, one and only, Captain Cold.

Rowan eyed the knife while rising to her feet, her gaze then flicking to meet Len’s, surprise clearly written all over her face. Len smoothly scooped up the weapon and promptly made it disappear, safe now and well hidden beneath his somewhat unseasonable layers.

“Where the hell’d you come from?” Rowan exclaimed in an uncharacteristically startled voice, apparently somewhat alarmed that she hadn’t noticed Len approaching earlier.

“Oh, you know me,” Len smirked with a devilish glint in his eyes, cocking his head to one side. “I’ve always had an _exceptional_ knack for timing.”

Rowan stared at him for a moment, looking perplexed and still a bit stunned. Then a small, hesitant smile emerged on her face and she shook her head.

“Just in the neighbourhood again, huh?” Rowan’s smile evolved into a subtle smirk of her own.

“What can I say? You’re welcome.”

Rowan’s smirk deepened and she held Len’s gaze for a moment longer, then surveyed the three men on the ground. 

“You, ah, wouldn’t mind covering these three for a minute while I go grab another set of cuffs would you?”

“Not. At. All. My _pleasure_ ,” Len’s eyes narrowed as he glared down at the trio, his harsh gaze fixing on asshole number three, whom he’d been continuing to aim his gun at steadily the entire time he’d been chatting with Rowan.

When she had disappeared into her apartment, asshole number three started running off at the mouth.

“Look man, we were just playing around you know and then out of nowhere cop bitch went all police brutality on our asses! Y-you’re Captain Cold right? You understand she’s a cop right? Aren’t you like a master criminal? Shouldn’t you be like, on our side?”

Len squatted down next to asshole number three so that the cold gun was now aimed pretty much point blank at his head. Len put a finger to his lips to shush the rambling man. His eyes were just this side of murderous.

“It’s true, I _am_ a master criminal. That means I’m _extremely_ good at what I do. It does not mean I go around hurting small defenceless animals just because I can. Or hurling sexist insults at women and attempting to assault them when they tell me to stop being a _total_ asshole.” The intensity of Len’s cold, measured, menacing tone had all three men looking extremely concerned, if not terrified.

He stood up and looked down at the trio for a few moments, as if he was contemplating what to do with a takeout meal that had turned out to be a tasteless, greasy mess. 

Then he said in a low tone, “Just so we’re clear, it would be very unfortunate for _all_ of you if _one_ of you started telling stories about Captain Cold hooking up with a cop…just like it would be extremely unpleasant for _all_ of you if anything were to ever happen to said cop, seeing as she happens to be under _my_ protection. I do hope we all… _understand_ each other.” Len glared ferociously down at the men as if they were quarry he was hunting. They all looked very grave as they digested what had just been said.

Len hadn’t actually planned to say anything of the sort and wasn’t quite sure where it had all come from. Still, he used the term ‘hooking up’ on purpose to try and deflect any suspicions that he was going soft by starting to come to the aid of small animals and random cops. 

The idea of Leonard Snart being ‘involved’ in a romantic or sexual sense with any type of cop was completely and utterly preposterous, of course. But Len spontaneously gambled that making these three lowlifes think his interest in Rowan was intimate and thus in some sense self-serving would prevent them from spreading even more damaging rumours about him while simultaneously making anyone in their networks think long and hard before going after Rowan for taking these idiots down. 

Len justified caring about that second part because he really did hate men targeting defenceless animals and women and he also very much enjoyed his back and forth bantering with Rowan so did not want anything getting in the way of that. He figured his bad guy persona could survive such self-interested forays into being protective of someone other than Lisa or Mick. 

Rowan emerged from her apartment with another set of cuffs and quickly restrained the third man.

“Thanks,” she said softly to Len as she got back to her feet and met his eyes. “I’ve called for backup. They’ll probably be here in about 10 minutes or so.” Len appreciated Rowan giving him the heads up and nodded in acknowledgement.

Rowan looked to the fence and moved slowly toward the dog, who was still shivering but no longer making any sounds. Len followed, sparing a glare back at the three restrained men, two of whom seemed to have accepted their current fate. The third, somewhat idiotically, continued to struggle against his restraints.

Satisfied that they were effectively neutralised, Len turned his full attention to Rowan who was now down on her hands and knees, gingerly moving toward the little dog who was crouched and shaking by the fence underneath some foliage.

Len squatted down instinctively to make himself look less intimidating to the traumatised canine, while trying not to notice or think about the rather…different view he was suddenly getting of Rowan as she crawled slowly toward the scared dog, seemingly oblivious to the position she’d adopted, her focus entirely on trying to calm the terrified animal. 

Damn! Now that Len had misdirected the cuffed jerks into believing he and Rowan were some kind of item, his mind must have jumped to actually thinking of her along those lines. Like he needed _that_ distraction!

Len had peripherally noticed at Saints and Sinners that Rowan was, in fact, a tiny bit attractive to him. After months of diligently refusing to pay any attention to that type of appeal, Len had finally allowed himself to concede that he was drawn to her in that way…but only to a small degree, of course. If pressed on the matter, he could admit she was indeed good looking to him, and… fine, whatever, she had a nice body in general, and an exceptionally nice ass in particular, its shapeliness revealed by the well-fitting pants she had worn that night.

Len didn’t usually place much importance on physical appearance in others (no matter how much he enjoyed looking good himself), but he wasn’t entirely immune to conventions of attractiveness either, though he was also not bound by them. 

Len could appreciate both conventional and unconventional attractiveness and admired those who transgressed social norms too. He realised he liked Rowan’s physical style partially because she carried herself in a confident yet casual and understated way; one that neither hid nor emphasized her physical features. Len tended to do that himself too. It only made sense given their respective occupations.

Now he suddenly found himself having to really work to avoid looking at her…curves…as she continued to kneel in front of him, on hands and knees, baby talking the dog, trying to coax it into letting her pet it. ‘Oh, for fuck’s sake,’ Len thought. ‘How old am I?’ 

Len vaguely thought back to what Mick had joked about when Rowan had tricked him with her wallet. The words, ‘This is all Mick’s fault!’ flashed unbidden through his mind.

Rowan suddenly looked straight at Len who snapped his focus back to the matter at hand. “This might take a while. Poor thing’s terrified…and injured I think.”

Rowan, thankfully for Len’s sake, sat down cross-legged and continued trying to calm the traumatised pup who was now panting heavily, almost hyperventilating.

Len considered his options for a moment, then chose to sit down too, next to Rowan without being too close, with his legs bent out in front of him.

“Here, let me try.” Len set his cold gun down close beside him and cautiously moved his hand toward the dog. It looked like a small terrier cross of some kind. Len held his hand just shy of the dog’s nose, letting it get a good sniff of him before he attempted to rub its chin. 

The dog started at the first gentle touch but then seemed to relax a bit and let Len rub its chin. Len could feel Rowan’s eyes on him but he stayed focused on the dog. He gently started to pet its head and gingerly started checking for possible injuries.

“Seems to be a male…and…I think there may be at least one broken bone on this side here.” Len stopped probing when the dog whimpered at a soft touch to one of his back legs.

“I’ll need to take him to a vet,” Rowan stated matter-of-factly. Then she said more softly, in a reflective tone, “You’re really good with animals”.

“Yeah, well, animals don’t judge right?” Len spoke with uncharacteristic self-deprecation and his Captain Cold drawl was suddenly almost absent, Rowan noticed.

“Oh, they do…only they judge by actions rather than…well, all the other things we judge by.”

“Animals are more forgiving though,” Len uttered this as well with uncharacteristic sincerity. Rowan seemed to contemplate his words for a moment. Then said, “That’s true.”

Her phone buzzed and she fished it out of her jacket pocket, scanning a text. “My backup’s about 5 minutes away…I’m guessing you don’t want to be around when they arrive?”

Len considered this and nodded but didn’t move. “What are you going to do with this little guy?”

“Well, he’ll need to see a vet and we’ll need to figure out if he belongs to anyone, other than these…jerks.” Rowan waved her hand dismissively in the direction of the still restrained and occasionally muttering males on the ground a few feet away from them.

Her eyes then met Len’s. “If he doesn’t seem to have a good home to go to we’ll have to find him one.” Len smirked at the ‘we’ in that sentence. He wasn’t used to being included in proposed solutions to non-criminal problems but, in this case, he’d take it. 

Rowan attempted to pet the dog’s chin and he let her but still shrank back a little. “He like’s you better,” she said with a smile.

“What can I say, the dog’s got taste,” Len shot Rowan one of his classic ‘I am the cat’s meow’ smirks and she just had to smile and shake her head at that, even as she rolled her eyes. 

Len glanced over at the restrained men then turned back to Rowan. “I wonder if giving the little guy some cat treats would help calm him down.”

“That’s not a bad idea. I’ll be right back!” Rowan sped off back inside her place. Len took the opportunity to stand slowly and walk back across the courtyard to retrieve the small bag he’d left in the foliage that had Rowan’s CDs and books in it. He kept his cold gun trained on the three cuffed assholes the whole time.

Rowan re-emerged from her apartment just as Len had settled himself back down in front of the dog and was gently rubbing his chin again. She squatted down and poured some cat treats into her palm from a bag, then slowly held them up to the dog’s snout.

He sniffed them briefly before tentatively licking the treats, then quickly decided to go for it, gobbling them up and licking Rowan’s hand clean afterwards. She gave him some more pets around the chin and cheek areas before attempting to pet his head. He was still anxious but seemed to be shaking less than before.

“Well, looks like everything’s under control here,” Len drawled. “I should be going. Just wanted to return these.” Len held out the bag to Rowan containing her stuff.

Rowan took the bag and looked inside. “Oh! I see.” She’d almost forgotten Len had taken some of her things. She quickly glanced through the contents. “Any favourites?”

“Don’t laugh but I did like that ‘Spy Machine 16’ CD…and not just because of the name.” Rowan smirked at that. 

“Plus the Nina Simone compilation…I didn’t have that one myself. And I enjoyed all the books, but the one about the rats was especially interesting. Never would have thought of reading a book like that but it was quite informative. I still have two left but I’ll bring those back soon.”

“There’s no hurry really. I’m glad you enjoyed everything.” 

Rowan let a small touch of sarcasm inflect her voice, perhaps reflecting how odd it was to be so casual about someone having broken into her place and ‘borrowed’ some of her things. 

“I’m also glad you did indeed bring them back.” She gave Len a rather pointed look. “Some of these CDs would be very hard if not impossible to replace…they’re pretty indie. There would have been some serious consequences had you not managed to keep your word this time.”

“Well, it’s not as if I _can’t_ keep my word…I’m just selective about when I choose to.” Len’s eyes glinted darkly in the morning sunlight and he affixed one of his standard mirthful smirks onto his face.

“By the way, can I see your phone?” Len gestured with his eyes to Rowan’s jacket pocket.

Rowan tilted her head quizzically and paused for a moment but then seemed to just decide to go with the flow without questioning why. Len took her phone and entered his number into it. Then he handed it back to her.

“Let me know how things work out with our little friend here. If you have trouble finding a home for the little guy I might be able to help. I know some decent people who would take good care of him.

“Okay…thanks…again.” Rowan looked down at her phone with a pensive expression. 

Len grabbed his cold gun and started to get to his feet. Rowan stood too while keeping an eye on the dog. She looked up at Len and seemed to want to say something more but was hesitating.

Just then a CCPD squad car slowly rounded the corner at the end of the nearby sidestreet and Len knew it was time for him to take off. He started backing away from Rowan and raised his eyebrows at her before turning away.

“Try to stay out of trouble Ro!” Len grinned back over his shoulder as he quickly strode off down the laneway. “I can’t always be around to help you out and, let’s face it, you don’t want to end up owing me _too_ many favours. At some point I _will_ want to collect.” Len smirked as he indulged in a somewhat singsong, flirty voice. 

Rowan rolled her eyes to the sky and shook her head with an amused yet slightly exasperated upturn to her lips as she watched Len disappear out of sight. “I had it covered you know,” she called after him. “Oh never mind,” she muttered. 

Len clearly had a thing for animals and that was really cool…and good to know…and kind of endearing, especially considering his criminal credentials. He also had a real talent for being annoying, in surprisingly silly ways. 

Rowan found herself developing new respect for Len’s younger sister whom she had yet to meet. She imagined Lisa must have had to put up with Len’s self-aggrandising teasing her whole life and anyone who could manage that and remain in any way sane deserved some sort of medal.

As two officers from the CCPD got out of their squad car and began approaching Rowan she got ready to explain all that had happened, minus the presence of one Leonard Snart. 

She’d overheard Len saying something to the three jerks on the ground about how they shouldn’t mention anything about his being there but she hadn’t quite made out the details.

No matter. She had discretely turned the camera she had set up near her door toward the courtyard when this whole drama had begun to unfold so she would just scrub Len from the footage and submit it as evidence if it was needed to corroborate her version of the story. She was technically skilled enough that she could do that without a trace that the video had been tampered with.

Len was a kind of phantom like presence anyway in all the ways he just seemed to show up out of nowhere and walk in and out of places unseen. He might as well be a ghost in this situation as well. 

Even if she was confident she could have handled the asshole with the knife had she needed to, Rowan was glad Len had intervened when he did. It was a refreshing change not to have to deal with a situation like that all on her own. 

As tough as Rowan was when she needed to be, it was never fun having to interact with sexist, cruel, violent bullies or, really, bullies of any kind, especially alone.

And it was nice to be reminded that not all male criminals were total creeps in every way. Len was still a criminal but, quite strangely Rowan reflected, he was starting to feel like her criminal.


	7. Survivors

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter of Part 1 of this story but there wasn't a good place to break it into two chapters so...hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading! (:

Snuggles sat expectantly beside Rowan as she reached inside a drawer in her kitchen to retrieve a cat treat. She took one small, much coveted pellet out of the treat bag and held it in front of Snuggles’ mouth. 

The eager feline gently licked the snack, then gingerly took it into her mouth and promptly gobbled it down, contentedly walking away from Rowan once done. Rowan put the treat bag back inside the drawer and turned to lean back against her kitchen counter.

She had just come out of the shower and was pretty much ready for bed, but somehow felt restless. She wondered if she should watch some TV, or try reading to get herself more in the mood for sleep. 

She found she just didn’t feel like doing either of those things though so she decided to make herself some ‘Sleepytime’ tea and just try to get an early night.

It was the beginning of October and Rowan was nearing the end of a few weeks of vacation. She’d have to return to ‘work’ soon and wasn’t really looking forward to it. 

Her official position at the CCPD was, of course, a cover and she’d continued with some of her real work while she was ‘off’, but it had been nice not to have to adhere to the whole 9 – 5 routine for a while and to have a break from all the pretending.

Captain Singh was really the only person at the CCPD who had any clue of what her real mandate was, and even he had only a general idea. Sharing of details was kept to a minimum, for everyone’s sake and for the sake of the mission.

As Rowan put on her kettle, she reflected on how her life had unfolded, leading her to the precarious existence she had survived for so long now she was almost blasé about it…well, sometimes anyway. 

In her small apartment in Central City, at least she had some measure of privacy and a taste of domesticity that allowed her to occasionally imagine the life she led was at least somewhat normal. 

That, as well as hanging around some colleagues at work and Team Flash, caused her to at times experience a vague longing for an end to the precariousness, the danger, the stress, the frustration and outrage that her real job constantly incurred.

As dangerous and uncertain as Team Flash’s reality might be, in some ways Rowan’s was a good ten times more so, and likely a hundred times lonelier.

Sure, Rowan had genuine colleagues who were part of her actual mission, but they were spread out across the continent and beyond, and were all under cover as well.

They were only authorized to contact one another if absolutely necessary, so there was no one Rowan could really talk to about the challenges of the job on a regular basis. They were all expected to just manage their own psyches and deal with any feelings that cropped up on their own in whatever ways they could without compromising the mission. 

In some ways, that was the hardest thing about Rowan’s life. Never being able to share her true thoughts or feelings about all she was caught up in. Tonight was one of those nights; it all weighed on her.

Rowan reflected ruefully to herself. “The Mission” made it sound like there was some chance of ultimate success and an eventual end to all of the danger and hiding and…being alone. 

The thing was, even if ‘the mission’ Rowan was currently part of did somehow miraculously end in success, it would just be one piece sliding into place of an enormous, unending puzzle; a puzzle that could never fully be solved and relegated to a dusty shelf of history somewhere.

Rowan had no doubts that the fight was nevertheless worthwhile. Even saving one person, one child out of a million made it all worth it. 

Sometimes when she had moments like these though, when she was a bit at loose ends…the thousands, the millions over time who might never be saved wore on her conscience. 

Even at their best, she and her colleagues could never be good enough. They could never disrupt and take down and apprehend enough perpetrators to end the barely imaginable suffering once and for all.

She was resigned to that cold hard fact…most of the time. But it still upset her, still felt so wrong, so inadequate, so…enraging if she thought about it too hard. Maybe she should have gone into policy work after all rather than front line investigations…but that might have been even more frustrating, seeing as there didn’t ever seem to be enough movement in that realm either.

Rowan poured the boiling water from her kettle over the tea bag she’d placed in her favourite mug, then covered it with a saucer to let it steep. She dumped out the excess boiling water into the kitchen sink and set the kettle back down on the stove.

She leaned back against the counter again, waiting for her tea to be ready and dejectedly wishing the world’s great problems could be purged as easily as pouring boiling water down a drain.

~

Outside it had started to rain, a gentle drizzle at first that quickly developed into a steady rainfall, just shy of a downpour. Len staggered toward his motorbike, forcing himself forward through the searing pain in his gut, one hand gripping his cold gun, the other pressed against his abdomen, already sticky with the dark red liquid oozing out of him at an alarming rate.

He somehow managed to reach his bike, bracing himself against it so that he could holster his gun. He then very gingerly moved one leg over the body of the machine and eased himself slowly onto the seat.

He fought for his eyes to remain focused as they threatened to fog over with a kind of blurred cloudiness. He fumbled for his ignition key and let out a breath when he succeeded in turning it, his bike’s engine roaring to life. 

He slowly pulled away from where he’d parked in an out of the way alley and carefully sped up as he started to navigate some thankfully deserted side streets; the pain in his side intensifying as fatigue and stress clamoured at his brain.

Len, Mick and Lisa had just wrapped up a successful routine high end jewellery store heist and the three had gone their separate ways, as was their usual tactic to help avoid capture and the possibility of being seen together in the vicinity of whatever place they’d robbed. 

Since the Flash had arrived on the scene they had also adopted a very strict policy of maintaining complete radio silence for 24 hours after a job for pretty much the same reasons. Barry must have been otherwise occupied tonight because the Flash had failed to make an appearance.

Len had decided to stop in at a late night deli that he liked to grab a quick bite. As he was leaving the place, he suddenly felt something was seriously off and the hairs on the back of his neck crept up.

He spun around to see a low level member of what was left of the Santini crime family walking purposefully toward him with a hard look on his face. Len instinctively reached for his cold gun but the approaching mobster drew faster and shot Len at relatively close range without any hesitation.

Len stumbled backward and one hand moved to his left side while he levelled his cold gun with the other and blasted the Santini goon with a burst of absolute zero. 

The guy was quick though and Len’s aim was off due to the burning pain quickly spreading through his gut that was already so intense Len almost fell to his knees. He looked around in the direction the shooter had run but he’d already disappeared into the night.

The guy had used a silencer so no one in the vicinity seemed to realise a shot had been fired. Len focused all his strength and will on dragging himself back to his bike so he could get himself somewhere safe…somewhere he could tend to his wound.

As Len drove carefully down a small street that he didn’t quite recognise he struggled to fend off panic from seeping into his thoughts. He could tell the gunshot wound was bad. The bullet was still inside him and there was no telling what organs may have been damaged.

There was a lot of blood and it hurt like all hell had been unleashed within him.

He pulled over to the side of the road and slumped forward, wondering if this was going to be it for him. The great Captain Cold taken out by some totally unexceptional goon because he’d had a craving for a sandwich.

“No,” Len growled to himself. “This is not the way my story is going to end.”

He tried to clear his mind and think for a moment. He considered which of his safe houses he was closest to and how well equipped they were in terms of first aid supplies.

Len’s eyes started to cloud over and he realised he needed help of some kind if he wanted to survive the night. There was an outside chance he might make it to a safe house, but he’d likely die alone there. He briefly imagined Lisa or Mick finding his cold lifeless body and shook his head, pushing such macabre thoughts away. 

He couldn’t go to an emergency room without risking arrest, obviously. Even with his records missing he was still a wanted criminal. If he tried to contact Lisa or Mick before 24 hours from the heist had passed they would ignore his messages; a strict rule he himself insisted on between the three of them.

Len suddenly realised he wasn’t that far from Saints and Sinners and he had a revelation, immediately knowing where he should go. 

It was a gamble but of all the options, which were few, Len’s instincts told him this might be his best chance; and Len’s instincts were seldom, if ever, wrong.

When Len pulled up to a familiar courtyard he let out a breath of relief when he saw lights still on in the house he was aiming for. He parked just off to the side of the front entrance. 

Len struggled to dismount his bike and stumbled forward, knowing he was on the verge of passing out from the pain and all the blood loss, and whatever internal damage he’d sustained. 

He knew if he didn’t make it to the door, it might all be over for him so he forced his legs to keep working. 

The rain sounded so soothing, in contrast to the agony he was experiencing inside his battered body and tortured mind.

Just a few more steps…and…Len just hoped he hadn’t miscalculated in his… disoriented state…hoped she would be…kind.

~

Rowan was feeling more relaxed and almost peaceful while sipping the last of her tea. Her mind had calmed since earlier and she sat comfortably on her couch, snug in her favourite pair of comfy, warm flannel pyjamas. They were lavender coloured with light blue and green swirls all over them. 

She’d put on her favourite slippers too, the furry ones that were shaped like polar bear feet, complete with plastic black claws.

She was just about to turn out her living room light and go to bed when an uneven but urgent knock sounded at her outside door. It startled her and she wondered who in the world could be knocking at this hour. Rowan’s upstairs neighbour was away for the week so it wasn’t likely to be someone looking for her.

She quickly took a peek out her front window and saw a figure hunched against the wall, drenched from the rain and somehow…familiar?

Just to be safe, Rowan grabbed her gun from the locked drawer she kept it in when she was off duty. She opened the inner door to her apartment and closed it behind her so that Snuggles wouldn’t escape outside.

She turned the outside light on and carefully opened the outer door. There in the rain, droplets careening down his ashen hued face, hunched over and leaning against the wall of the house, clutching one side of his abdomen, was Leonard Snart.

His features were clenched in pain and his eyes were uncharacteristically devoid of the shields that were usually so firmly in place. His expression was imploring and Rowan was stunned for a moment. 

She then glanced down to where Len was clutching his side and noticed his hand was covered in blood that kept replacing itself, even as the rain was simultaneously washing it away.

“Len!” Rowan managed. “What are you…I mean what happened? You’re…seriously injured!” 

Rowan vaguely thought she must sound ridiculous pointing out the obvious but there was no time to care. She took a quick look around the courtyard and, seeing no one, held her door further open motioning for Len to come inside.

At first he had trouble moving and stumbled as he shuffled over the threshold but Rowan instinctively reached out to steady him and said, “Lean on me,” which Len actually did without argument. Rowan closed the door hastily once he was inside.

She opened her inner apartment door and Snuggles was waiting just inside, full of curiosity, but she ran out of the way when she saw Len and Rowan struggling to get through the door together. 

Len finally spoke in a strained and raspy voice that was jarringly weak considering how he usually sounded. 

“Shot…it was a…Santini. They’re…mobsters.” Len paused and took in a laboured breath. “We…don’t get along.”

Any misgivings Rowan may have had about helping Len in this situation evaporated when she heard he’d been shot by a member of the Santini gang. She was all too familiar with the Santinis and how they made their money; they were bad news through and through.

Besides, ever since Len had helped her subdue the jerks who’d been abusing the little dog outside her apartment several weeks ago, Rowan had felt she and Len had come to a new level of understanding.

Len peered down blearily at Rowan and breathed, “Couch?”

“No,” Rowan said firmly. “You need to lie down flat and my couch isn’t long enough for you to do that. We have to get to the bedroom. It’s not that far, just stay with me.”

Len didn’t have any strength left to argue so he allowed himself to be led slowly to Rowan’s bedroom. 

When they got there Rowan helped Len out of his drenched jacket and then tried to slowly ease him onto the bed but he almost collapsed backward when he was finally sitting down, grunting in pain as he did so. 

Rowan turned on her bedside lamp with the paper lantern shade that cast a bright but muted light throughout the room. She put her gun down on her dresser and then adjusted her pillow and helped Len shift so that his head was resting on it and he was stretched out properly, lengthwise on the bed.

Len tensed when Rowan moved to grab hold of his cold gun to ease it out of its holster.

“I’m just going to get this out of the way so you can lie down properly.” Rowan said gently. He hesitated just a second or two, then gave a nod. He relaxed as she leaned the gun against the wall near the bed.

Snuggles had followed them into the room and jumped onto the bed, eager to see what was going on, but Rowan gently lifted her off to keep her from accidentally stepping on and further hurting Len.

“My boots!” Len suddenly tried to sit up but had to lie back down when he couldn’t manage it due to the pain. “Messing up your bed…” he wheezed.

“Don’t worry about that right now, that’s like the least of our problems,” Rowan gestured for Len to stop trying to sit up. She was in crisis mode and was all calm practicality.

“But…” Len still seemed stressed about his boots and Rowan realised he was probably in shock and a bit hysterical.

“Okay, I’ll get your boots off in a moment Len but first I need to see how bad the wound is. I’m…guessing you don’t want me to call 911?”

“No!” Len tried to sit up again and looked imploringly at Rowan. “No hospitals…please.” Len said that last word with such a haunted look in his eyes Rowan shuddered.

“Okay, just relax. I won’t call. Just…lie back. But I need to see okay?” Rowan tried to use a gentle tone that was still firm enough so as to be reassuring.

Len had been clutching his wound the whole time and Rowan ran to grab some clean towels from her bathroom.

When she returned she placed one towel over Len’s hand and started to apply pressure with it and then slowly and gently nudged Len’s hand away so that the towel was now directly in contact with his side.

Len stared at his now free hand, which was red and sticky with his own blood. Rowan passed him a towel so he could clean his hand, which he weakly attempted to do.

She then passed him another towel in case he wanted to dry himself off, as his head and face were still wet with raindrops.

“Okay Len, I’m going to take a look all right?” Len nodded almost imperceptibly and closed his eyes. Rowan carefully lifted the towel and gingerly pulled up what was left of Len’s shirt. 

Blood was still oozing from the wound, but perhaps not as fast as before.

Rowan couldn’t see much; only that the bullet had not gone clean through and was far enough inside so as to be invisible to her. 

There was no way Rowan could deal with this level of medical trauma alone. She made a quick decision and hoped it would work out all right.

“Len, the bleeding seems to be easing up but the bullet’s still in there and I can’t get it out…I’d be too afraid of causing more damage to you so I’m going to call a friend of mine okay? He’s a doctor and he’s off the grid…like me.”

Rowan added the last part so Len would understand she’d be calling someone he would never be able to trace but who wouldn’t have Len in his sights in terms of his criminality either.

Len stared up at the ceiling for a few moments like he was considering all that Rowan had said. Just when she thought he might not respond, he flicked his eyes to meet hers and seemed to be searching her for an answer.

“Do you trust him?” Len breathed the words out softly, with a rasp in his voice.

“Yes.” Rowan affirmed, giving Len her most earnest look. 

A moment later Len hesitantly said, “Okay.”

Rowan made sure he could manage holding the towel against his side for a minute and ran to grab her phone. She returned to the bedroom and resumed putting pressure on his wound after she’d dialled her colleague’s number.

It was pretty coincidental that just before Len had shown up she had been reflecting on how long it had been since she’d checked in with any of her mission team and how long it would likely be into the future before she did so again, yet now here she was contacting the only other person in the whole of Central City who really knew who she was and what she was up to.

“Rowan?” The older man’s deep voice answered after only two rings, much to her relief. 

“Elmer, I have a situation. I need your help. Gunshot wound, in deep. Can’t fix it myself. I’m at home. My doors are unlocked.”

“I’ll be right there!” Rowan exhaled in relief when she heard the beep of the call ending. 

Elmer was a good guy and a dedicated doctor. He might be a bit annoyed when he found out it wasn’t Rowan herself who was shot and needed help but he wouldn’t let someone go without medical care if they were bleeding away right in front of him; no matter who they were.

Now that she knew help was coming, Rowan suddenly felt the intensity and stress of the situation catching up with her. She looked up to see Len regarding her as best he could considering he was lying down and she was kneeling on the floor beside her bed.

“Well that was easy.” Len rasped out with a faint hint of piqued interest in his eyes. “Have people at your beck and call do you?” He made a valiant attempt at smirking, which mostly worked, though very subtly.

Len was clearly struggling to speak but wasn’t wheezing as badly or breathing as hard as when he first got to Rowan’s place.

“Not usually.” Rowan smiled gently. “This is just an emergency. Obviously.”

She asked Len to hold the towel to his wound again and moved to finally remove his boots. She glanced at Len as she did this, as he continued to regard her through slightly lidded eyes.

He still appeared different than he usually did, like the mask that he always held so firmly in place had evaporated and Rowan was looking into Len’s true eyes and at his real face. He looked younger somehow but, strangely, also older at the same time. 

His eyes held an innocence Rowan hadn’t seen before but also a kind of aged weariness, amplified by his rather alarming paleness and the haggard expression that had set in as he lay, continuing to bleed, though more slowly than before. 

As she set Len’s boots down by the side of the bed, Rowan met Len’s eyes again and noted how tired he looked, how sad, and how…vulnerable. Rowan felt like she was glimpsing something of his soul, his eyes held so much emotion. 

She was starting to wonder what she should say, if anything, when Len spoke again.

“Rowan?”

“Yes Len.”

“Will you…do something for me?” 

Len’s voice was soft and Rowan shifted a bit closer to Len’s face in order to hear him better and took over holding the towel to his wound again.

“Sure, what do you need?”

“If I don’t make it…can you…” Len paused and had to catch his breath a bit. After a few moments, he continued.

“…can you find my sister…Lisa…and tell her…I’m sorry…for leaving her alone and…tell her…tell her I love her.” 

Len said the last few words so quietly Rowan might have missed them if he hadn’t been speaking so earnestly and with such conviction. 

She was caught off guard by the bald sincerity and heartfelt honesty of Len’s words but was also frightened by the faraway look his eyes were taking on, as if he was fading away, dying before her very eyes.

Rowan tried her best to respond as gently as she could. 

“I will…if it comes to that, I promise. But you need to stay with me Len. Your time’s not up yet and I’m not really down with the idea of you dying on my bed so, seriously, no drifting off gently into the night just yet okay? That would be bad manners, even for you.”

Rowan had some experience trying to keep people calm and lucid in crisis situations and her play at attempting mild humour was rewarded with a slight upturning of Len’s lips. His eyes closed briefly but then opened again.

“Been accused of a lot of things in my life Ro but bad manners hasn’t usually been one of them.” Len’s signature drawl asserted itself for the first time of the night.

“Well, there you go. Why start now?”

Len managed to smirk at that, which Rowan viewed as progress. 

“There’s something else.” Len continued to look into Rowan’s eyes, a certain earnestness returning.

“Sure, what is it?”

“If you could…find my partner Mick too…and tell him…301…45..682. He’ll know what that means.”

“Here. Let me write that down.” Rowan grabbed a small pad of paper near her bed and wrote the numbers down.

Her mind had just started to calculate how much longer it would reasonably take Elmer to arrive if she’d reached him at his nearby apartment when she heard her apartment door open and Elmer’s voice call out to her. 

Rowan felt a jolt of relief. “I’m here…in the bedroom!”

She could hear Elmer sliding off his coat and whipping off his boots in her hallway. 

A few seconds later a very distinguished but gentle looking man in his mid 60s appeared in the doorway. He was wearing a brimmed hat and a matching light grey suit and held a large medical bag in his hand. He looked like a figure from another era.

He took one look at the scene before him and shot Rowan a surprised and somewhat quizzical look, possibly laced with a smidgen of annoyance.

“What exactly do we have here now Rowan?” 

Elmer’s voice was rich and low and held a hint of amusement, in spite of the seriousness of the situation.

“Gunshot wound to the gut, lots of blood loss. I…can’t see the bullet.” 

Rowan purposely dodged the real question Elmer had been asking hoping he’d just go along with it for now and allow her to explain how this bleeding man got in her bed later.

“Right.” 

Elmer paused in the doorway just a moment longer before seeming to make a decision to just be a doctor and forego all the questions he had until after the current life and death situation had been resolved, much to Rowan’s relief.

Elmer moved swiftly into the room and tossed his hat onto Rowan’s dresser, revealing a full head of greyish white hair. He looked Len in the eyes and said, “I’m Elmer. What’s your name?”

“Len.” Len looked apprehensive as he introduced himself but also, resigned.

“Well Len, I’ll do my best for you. Rowan, I’ll need a chair.”

“Of course!” Rowan gestured to the towel she was still using to apply pressure and Elmer took over for her while she walked swiftly to her small dining room and came back with a chair. 

Elmer settled into it beside Len’s wound and carefully lifted the towel, using his medical penlight to peer into it. 

“Yep, the bugger’s lodged in there pretty good.”

Rowan found Elmer’s casual tone and appraisal of the situation both comforting and slightly absurd.

Elmer pulled his medical bag toward him and started removing some items.

“Rowan can you get me a small, well, medium sized table or something similar to lay these all out on?”

“Sure, just give me a sec.”

Rowan had a decent sized side table in her living room and she quickly cleared it and brought it into the bedroom for Elmer’s instruments. Snuggles observed all this with rapt curiosity but seemed to have decided to stay out of the way of all the commotion for now.

Next Elmer asked Rowan to boil water in her pressure cooker, in case he needed to re-sterilize anything he’d brought with him. Rowan did everything she was asked to as quickly as she could while Elmer began assessing Len in earnest.

At times Len gazed down at his side with his brow furrowed in concern and, at other times, he regarded the easy-going doctor with what looked like equal parts hope and scepticism.

When Rowan re-entered her bedroom, she was amazed at how quickly it had come to look like a makeshift field unit. She noticed Elmer had laid out all his instruments on a sterile cloth he’d brought with him in a sealed package and had also replaced the now blood soaked towel Rowan had been using on Len’s wound with a fresh sterile towel.

Elmer looked into Len’s eyes with his penlight, then took his pulse, listened to his heartbeat, and took Len’s blood pressure, explaining all of these things would help him assess what damage the bullet had likely done to him.

Elmer asked Len questions about where he’d been in relation to the shooter when it happened and how long it had taken between the moment he’d been shot and arriving at Rowan’s, and how much blood loss occurred in the interim.

Elmer kept up a running commentary on what he was seeing and doing and why, so at least Len would be informed as to what was going on.

“Rowan, can you get Len a drink please…water I mean. He needs to stay hydrated.”

“Yep, coming!” Rowan was just happy to be able to do whatever she could to help. She brought Elmer water too; she figured he’d likely be working on Len for a while. She held the glass for Len so he could take a few sips without having to move too much.

Part of her was vaguely aware of the extreme stress she felt at the sudden thought that Elmer might not feel it was the best idea for him to dig the bullet out and stitch Len up in the end. 

Rowan didn’t want to have to butt heads with her colleague if he decided Len should go to a hospital after all. She had no idea how she would explain why she would stick her neck out for a crook like Len. Frankly, she wasn’t even entirely sure herself.

Once Elmer had finished assessing Len’s vitals, he peered again into the wound. 

“So, the really good news is it looks like this here bullet might have miraculously missed all your vital organs which, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, is extremely fortunate.” Len nodded faintly and appeared somewhat hopeful.

Elmer was continuing to use his professional but somewhat casual tone, like he could have been discussing oncoming changes in the weather.

“The not so good news is it’s gonna be a real challenge getting the bugger out so it’s gonna take a while. I’d like to at least give you a local anaesthetic and mild sedative, if you’re okay with that.”

Len hesitated a moment, then nodded, “Okay.” 

“Good! All right, let me just prep for all this. I won’t lie, this is no small potatoes. We really shouldn’t be doing any of this outside of a proper surgical team situation and setting but…well, here we are. Just give me a few minutes and we’ll get started. Actually…Rowan do you have any dry clothes we can get Len into?”

“Let me see what I have.”

By a fantastic stroke of luck, some men’s clothes had been left behind in the apartment from a previous tenant when Rowan moved in so she left the bedroom and thought back to what she’d done with them. They were probably still in a box in her hallway closet. Rowan checked and thankfully they were still there.

She pulled out a shirt and sweater and some track pants. They looked big enough for Len and again, thankfully, they didn’t smell too musty. Rowan had washed them when she’d first moved in because she’d planned to donate them to a local charity but then, luckily it turned out, she’d neglected to follow through and actually do it. 

She returned to the bedroom with the clothes and handed the tops to Len first. He peered up at her with an odd look on his face. Rowan wasn’t sure what it meant.

“Do you need me to help you or…would you prefer some privacy?”

“Maybe some privacy, if you don’t mind.” Len looked relieved that Rowan had picked up on his concern.

“Sure, I’ll just…be back in a few minutes.” Rowan met Elmer’s eyes as she turned to leave the room. Elmer regarded Len with an appraising look but said nothing.

Rowan closed the door as she left the room and went to sit on her couch to wait. Snuggles jumped up and sat in her lap, purring. 

“It’s okay honey, bunny. Len’s just hurt, that’s all. He’ll be okay though.” She felt slightly reassured having said those words out loud as she rubbed Snuggles around her cheeks and chin. 

Snuggles licked Rowan’s fingers, as if in agreement. She pet Snuggles some more around her head, ears and back, all to increasingly intense purring. 

The rhythmic sound was relaxing, as usual, and Rowan felt grateful Snuggles was there. She couldn’t help but reflect on how ultimately fragile even the toughest looking people could be and how easy it was for a life to slip through the cracks, especially one lived on the edges of society. 

She also couldn’t help but notice how upsetting the thought of Len dying actually was to her. She was forced to face the fact that the crook was starting to mean something to her that he probably shouldn’t…as if she needed yet another thing to worry about.

After five minutes or so of somewhat grim ruminations, Rowan knocked on her bedroom door and Elmer told her she could come in. Len was back lying on the bed in the dry clothes she’d given him, which seemed to fit quite well.

“Does that feel better?”

Len nodded. “Yeah…it does.” His voice still sounded weak but he met her eyes and said more strongly, “Thanks Ro.”

There was an intensity there that referred to more than just the dry clothes, Rowan thought. She nodded and then scooped up Len’s wet clothes saying “I’ll just hang these in the bathroom so they can dry.” 

Elmer observed all this without saying anything. He was methodically preparing for the impromptu surgery he was about to perform. When Rowan returned to the bedroom Elmer suggested she get herself a chair and act as his surgical assistant.

He proceeded to scrub up in Rowan’s bathroom before donning sterile gloves from a package. He had also discarded his suit jacket and donned scrubs, also from a sealed package. He directed Rowan to scrub up too and gave her gloves as well.

So it was that Elmer embarked on the very delicate task of removing the bullet from Len’s gut and Rowan sat beside him, keeping the wound as clean as possible and handing Elmer instruments when he needed them.

Rowan frequently glanced up at Len’s face. He seemed to have relaxed into a waiting mode, clearly eager to know what was happening but also too drained to talk much, unless he was spoken to. He also appeared drowsy, likely due to the mild sedative Elmer had given him.

Elmer worked carefully, using all the equipment he had available to be as ready as possible for any eventualities before finally inserting forceps into the wound and gripping the bullet, very gently and slowly pulling it out. He warned Rowan to be ready in case of significant increased blood flow. He warned Len that, even with the anaesthetic, this was going to hurt like hell.

After what seemed like an eternity, but had really only been about an hour since he arrived, Elmer was holding the bullet up to the light, still gripped in the forceps, and smiling triumphantly at Len and Rowan.

“Aha, got it! Bugger put up a fight but luckily for us this is far from being my first bullet extraction in the field!” Elmer looked relieved and very pleased with himself. “Ha…see I’ve still got it!” Rowan heard Elmer murmur to himself as he set the bullet down on his makeshift instrument tray.

Rowan had to smile at Elmer’s heady sense of accomplishment. No wonder he was such a good doctor. It was all still a challenge he was eager to meet, no matter how long he’d been saving people’s lives.

Len looked like he’d just been through a wringer but the intense pain of having a bullet extracted from him while semi-conscious seemed to already be receding as he lay back on the pillow and closed his eyes.

There was some more blood loss after the extraction but it wasn’t severe so Elmer concluded no arteries had been ruptured.

“All right Len, I’m gonna sew you up now but I highly recommend you get yourself checked out properly as soon as you can. CT scan would be a good idea, just to make sure there’s no internal damage I wasn’t able to catch. You should get your haemoglobin checked too…you lost a lot of blood. Understand?”

“Yes sir,” Len smiled up at the doctor and it didn’t have any hint of sarcasm. He was clearly extremely relieved that the bullet was out and looked much more like himself than he had since arriving at Rowan’s doorstep.

Elmer’s mouth twitched upward at Len’s response.

“Okay, so let’s get this hole nice and patched up.” Elmer settled down again to stitch Len’s wound after disinfecting it as best as he could. Rowan sat beside him again in case he needed anything.

The stitching didn’t take too long and when it was done Elmer wiped his brow with a handkerchief he’d had on hand on the table; the first sign he gave that the preceding operation had been in any way taxing on him.

“Well, I think that’s about it Len. Those stitches will just dissolve so you won’t need to get them removed. No strenuous activities or heavy lifting for the next few months and bed rest for the next few days at least…and take it easy for the next few weeks. You ah…should probably stay here for the next day or so. You’re not really travel ready yet.” 

Len nodded slightly at all Elmer was saying. When he’d finished Len said “Thanks doc. I owe you one.”

Elmer smiled pensively as he looked down at Len. “Do you want to keep the bullet?” He gestured at the innocuous looking yet deadly piece of metal lying on the table he’d used as a surgical tray. 

“Sure,” Len responded, looking thoughtful. “Might as well.”

A few minutes later, having washed up and gathered his things, Elmer stood at the side of the bed with his medical bag, regarding Len attentively with a somewhat unreadable look in his eyes. After a few moments his expression shifted back to a more neutral one and whatever he may have been thinking seemed to retreat into the background of his mind as he spoke. 

“Take care of yourself Len. Try not to get shot again.” Rowan was standing beside Elmer and her brow furrowed at the bluntness of his statement. She glanced at Len and he seemed amused.

“I’ll try my best.” Len smirked lightly as Elmer smiled, grabbing his hat as he turned to leave the room, giving Len one last nod before exiting. Rowan followed him out into the living room, closing the bedroom door behind her in anticipation of an impending conversation she knew was coming.

In the living room Elmer turned to her and raised his eyebrows. “Do I even want to know Rowan?”

Rowan shrugged. “What could I do? He just showed up at death’s door…I couldn’t just ignore him and let him die now could I?”

“You could have called 911 and let the chips fall as they may.” Elmer’s voice was not judgemental or unkind, just probing and curious.

“It’s…hard to explain. I’m not sure I can.” Rowan was too tired not to be honest.

“Wouldn’t have anything to do with the rather tragic background of our friend Len in there would it? Leonard Snart that is. Or, what is it he likes to go by these days? Captain Cold?”

“You recognised him?” Rowan was genuinely surprised.

“He was on TV last year when he kidnapped that young woman. He has a pretty unforgettable face.”

“That’s true.” Rowan looked down at the floor and sighed.

Elmer smiled gently. “Look Rowan, I trust you know what you’re doing but…be careful nonetheless. There are only so many strays you can take in before it all gets to be too much.”

As if on cue, Snuggles jumped up onto the back of the couch and rubbed her face against Elmer’s arm.

“And how’s this little one doing?” Elmer proceeded to give Snuggles a good pet, the friendly kitty happily taking in all his attention.

“She’s good. Mischievous as always but…she’s her regular sweet self...most of the time.”

Elmer looked up at Rowan while still petting Snuggles. “You’ll call me if you need anything for yourself right? Not just physical either. I know our work can be…lonely. You don’t have to be all alone all the time though. Just pick up the phone if you have to.”

“Thanks Elmer. I really appreciate it.”

Elmer smiled genuinely, saying softly, “Any time.” With that, he put on his hat and nodded to her, giving Snuggles one last pat before heading out. Rowan watched Elmer get into his car and pull away from her living room window.

She understood his subtle suggestion all too clearly and wondered if he was right. Maybe her sense of loneliness and isolation was starting to affect her judgement. 

Maybe that’s why she’d started falling into this odd kind of…friendship?…with a notorious criminal. Was it really that simple, though? And would it really be so terrible if it was, all things considered? Len did have some undeniably good points, in spite of his admittedly serious misdemeanours.

Rowan let out a long, soft sigh and moved back over to the couch where Snuggles was now licking her paw. She pet her feline friend for a few moments and then got herself a glass of water. She went back to the bedroom and lightly knocked, then slowly opened the door.

Len was still awake, if drowsy, and he flicked his eyes to her as she entered. 

Rowan sighed again. “I’m glad that worked out so well.” Rowan sat beside the bed on one of the chairs and met Len’s eyes.

“I’m pretty glad about it myself,” Len almost grinned, only somewhat cockily. “I guess I owe you big-time now Ro. You saved my life.”

“Well, Elmer saved your life…I just got him here.” Rowan paused then smirked slightly. “I guess we _could_ call it even for the whole knife thing when you helped me with little Phil the dog.”

“Phil is it? How _is_ the little guy doing anyway?” Len’s voice was still softer than usual but was regaining some of its customary confident drawl.

Len and Rowan had texted back and forth in the days after the dog abuse incident but, in the end, she’d had no trouble finding a good home for the little guy who had recovered well from the broken leg and was adjusting excellently to his new, very loving home.

“He’s doing really well. His leg’s all healed up and apparently he’s really come out of his shell over the last few weeks. He gets along with the other dog and cat in the house too. “

Len looked away from Rowan and said in a stronger voice than he’d managed since he arrived, “I’m glad _that_ all worked out too.”

He looked back at Rowan and there was a charged silence between them for a few moments. Len flicked his eyes downward and then back up again to meet hers.

“ _Sooo_ …I’ve never really thought of myself as a stray before. Collect them do you?”

Rowan was inwardly surprised Len had somehow overheard her conversation with Elmer in the living room but, she quickly realised, she likely shouldn’t be. He had probably hobbled out of bed to listen at the bedroom door…she wouldn’t put it past him for a second, even in his injured state.

“I wouldn’t say I collect them, though I have been known to take one in now and then. Snuggles being one, of course.”

Len looked at Rowan earnestly again. “I hope I haven’t caused any trouble for you with your…mystery work.”

Rowan mused at the fact Len actually seemed concerned. “No, it’s fine. I’m lucky to have Elmer nearby for when things go south for me. Not every doctor in my…line of work is equally understanding.”

“I see. I guess I lucked out too then, in more ways than one.” Len smiled at Rowan but suddenly looked exhausted while doing so.

“You should get some sleep. I’ll be on the couch out there if you need me. Don’t worry about waking me up.”

“No, no,” Len’s voice was still a bit shaky. “I should really be going. I’ve imposed enough on you…” Len attempted to sit up and was aiming to move off the bed.

“Whoa! Oh no you don’t.” Rowan shot Len an incredulous and somewhat alarmed look of warning. He tried to wave her off but she took on an imposing stance while blocking his way at the side of the bed, firmly placing both hands on her hips and glaring down at Len with solid determination, her voice becoming steely. 

“You’re not going anywhere tonight ‘Mr. Tough Guy Super Villain’. Not after all that. Are you kidding me? You heard what Elmer said. No going anywhere for at least a day or two. What do you think he’d say to me or, even worse, think of me if he found out I just let you take off and you ended up with ripped stitches or something? You’re stuck here for the moment Captain Icicle.”

Len opened his mouth to say something and leaned forward slightly, as if he might continue his attempt to get up but Rowan held up an index finger, indicating she would brook no argument.

“And don’t even think about grabbing for your cold gun and breaking out of here either. This is an absolute zero free zone buster! Seriously, don’t _make_ me regret saving your life or believe me you’ll regret that.” Rowan glared at Len for a few moments longer to make sure she’d been understood in no uncertain terms. “I’ll hear you if you try and sneak out too.”

Len appeared taken aback and somewhat non-plussed for a few moments by all Rowan had said, and the conviction with which she’d said it, before slowly lying back down and just seeming to accept defeat. 

“Okay, fine.” Len frowned. “I’ll stay put…for now.“ He regrouped quickly though and shot Rowan an amused smirk. “You know I’d almost forgotten how hard core you can be when you feel like it Ro.” 

“Yeah, well, don’t forget it again. As long as you’re convalescing in my bed you’ll do as I say and that includes just staying put. What is it with all you macho guys and your ‘yeah I just got shot and almost died but I have to like, just get up and walk away from it like nothing happened’ silliness?” 

Rowan had turned away from the bed in a bit of a huff and was starting to put things back in their proper places and move the chairs and table toward the door. Len let out a soft snort at Rowan’s rather impassioned rant regarding ‘tough guy machismo’. 

“ _Riiight_ …I forgot how much you hate all the tough guy bullshit too. For the record, I was just trying not to put you out any further but hey, if you’d prefer I continue hanging out in your bed and you want to wait on me hand and foot for a while…well, who am I to ruin your fun?” 

Len smirked at the annoyed expression his words elicited from Rowan, so of course he persisted. “Come to think of it Ro, had I known you were so keen on getting me into your bed I would have obliged a long time ago.”

Rowan sighed loudly while rolling her eyes and tilting her head. She shot Len an even more exasperated look of annoyance and the crook had the nerve to actually wink at her. Clearly he was starting to feel better.

“Oh, just behave for once and…get some sleep.” Rowan had set the two chairs outside her bedroom door along with the table. She was about to close the door with Len still chuckling when she realised she needed some things from the room.

She re-entered, moving quickly to the closet and then a drawer and took out some clothes for the next day so she wouldn’t have to disturb Len if he was still sleeping in the morning. She hesitated a moment, then came to stand beside the bed, suddenly a touch embarrassed, though she told herself she shouldn’t be. 

Len looked up at her. “Need something from _me_ Ro?” He was all out smirking now, asking his question in a downright flirtatious drawl.

Rowan decided not to even go there and just smiled slightly. “I just need…that small pillow over there and…my Grover. Here, I can reach if I just…sorry.”

Rowan reached over Len’s body to grab her smallest pillow that would fit best on the couch and also her oldest stuffed toy, the only thing she retained from a life that had been over decades ago. She needed both if she was going to sleep at all tonight.

“Can’t sleep without your Grover, huh?” Len teased like someone who had a _lot_ of practice doing it. Not for the first time Rowan silently empathised with Len’s younger sister. She knew Len had been an exceptionally good big brother but she also suspected he could be exceptionally insufferable at the same time.

“Yeah, well, we all have our little quirks, don’t we?” Rowan glared pointedly at Len’s cold gun that was still leaning against the wall by the bed near where Len’s head was.

“I’m pretty sure my quirks are _cooler_ than yours,” Len looked ridiculously pleased with himself at the all too obvious pun.

“Oh, please.” Rowan scoffed. “Nothing is cooler than Grover.”

With that she smirked slightly, then turned with her clothes, pillow and Grover in her arms and marched toward the door.

“Whoa, hold up there Ro!” Len sounded just serious enough to cause Rowan to stop and turn back towards him, wondering what he might need. She waited while he regarded her with an odd expression on his face.

“Ummm…what exactly are you wearing on your feet?”

Rowan looked down at her feet, still snugly ensconced in her furry polar bear slippers.

“Slippers, obviously.” She looked at Len like he had truly lost the part of his mind that dealt with basic comprehension.

“Okay, but…why do they look like…animal feet?”

“They’re polar bear slippers. They’re just for fun…they’re cute…and warm.”

Len’s face took on an even more bewildered look. “You weren’t wearing those when I arrived though…you just put them on right?”

“I’ve been wearing them the whole time you’ve been here.”

“Wow! I really _was_ out of it…can’t believe I didn’t notice them before. They’re kind of…ridiculous. You know that right?” Len was in full teasing mode now and truly seemed to be enjoying himself.

“Actually they’re totally awesome. You just want them for yourself. No stealing, by the way.” Rowan had to admit she was kind of enjoying herself suddenly. After the extreme stress of the past couple of hours, it was nice to switch things up into totally non-serious mode.

Len had been propping himself up on one elbow and now he lay back down on the pillow, looking up at the ceiling. “I can’t believe the woman who pulled my own gun on me sleeps with a Grover and wears furry animal slippers. I really _must_ be losing my edge.”

“Yeah, well, you just lie there and contemplate that, as well as the fact that that very same woman just saved your hide, while I continue being awesome and secure in my own life choices out here.” 

Rowan finally reached the door again and stepped out into the hallway. She turned back before closing the door. “Seriously though, yell if you need anything.”

Len peered at her from lidded eyes, gently shaking his head and smirking. He chuckled, then said, “Goodnight Ro.”

“Goodnight Len.” Rowan closed the door and exhaled. How was it the more she interacted with Leonard Snart the more confounding yet enjoyable it became?

As she settled herself onto her couch and Snuggles jumped on top of her to find a snug place to sleep too, Rowan reflected once more on the oddness of her life and how she really hadn’t actively chosen most of it per se. Of every part of her current situation though, she had to admit, against all odds, lately Len was the part she would most miss if she had to give it all up. Maybe she really _was_ going crazy.

She briefly thought about what would have happened if Elmer hadn’t made it in time, or if Len hadn’t made it to her place when he did, or if she hadn’t been home. She shuddered and turned off her living room lamp, lying down as best she could on her couch. She cleared her mind of those unpleasant thoughts and found she was totally exhausted. She fell asleep before she could think of anything else.


	8. A Separate Playtime

When Len opened his eyes it was to full daylight, although the window blinds of the strange room he was in were drawn, so the light was somewhat muted. For a second or two he had no idea where he was. Then a searing pain in his side jogged his memory as the events of the previous night flooded back to him.

He figured he must have had a pretty good sleep because his mind was a lot clearer than it had been the night before. He felt reasonably refreshed, though still physically drained; his body felt tired even though his head didn’t really. 

He lay still for a few minutes listening for indications of Rowan’s presence, not hearing any. He reflected on all that had happened the night before, from being shot, to making it to Rowan’s, to her doctor friend patching him up. 

Part of him wondered if it was all a dream and he would wake up in a cold ditch somewhere, still bleeding out…or maybe he would never wake up at all. Just then he heard movement on the other side of the door, likely coming from the kitchen or living room, and Len figured it probably hadn’t all been a dream after all.

It was a surreal feeling, having suddenly come so close to death, only to be saved by someone who’d come into his life as an adversary. If anyone had told Len five months ago, right after Rowan had broken in on him, that the very same woman would end up saving his life in a few short months, he’d never have believed them. He could still hardly believe it, even now.

But here he was snug and safe in Rowan’s rather large and comfortable bed, distracted suddenly by the motley crew of stuffed toys grouped in the corner where the bed met the wall. Len vowed he would just _have_ to tease Rowan some more about the fluffy things when he got the chance. It was just too great an opportunity to pass up…and Rowan was proving fun to tease.

Len reflected that he should probably get up soon and take stock of his situation but he wanted to rest just a little bit longer. For whatever reason, Rowan had not only saved his life, but was being very generous, even insistent, about letting him stick around to recover. He found himself enjoying the feeling that gave him. 

Len could remember very few times in his life anyone had ever taken care of him when he was hurt. It was…nice, this unfamiliar novelty. He decided he might as well enjoy it while he could.

He vaguely considered that it should probably bother him more…being vulnerable like this in Rowan’s home. He had to admit though, not only was he not bothered but he felt surprisingly at ease, even content, just letting her manage his recovery for a while. 

Perhaps, he thought, he should be more concerned about the possibility she could still turn him in, and the longer he hung around the more likely that would be to happen. Somehow though, he felt pretty sure that if Rowan was going to make that play she would have done it already, so he really couldn’t bring himself to worry too much.

He knew all too well that once he left Rowan’s place he’d be pulled back into his regular, chaotic life with all its stresses and dangers. He wanted to savour the peace he felt here while he could.

Len felt an energy in Rowan’s apartment that he had to admit he liked. He’d vaguely felt it when he’d, ahem, invited himself in back in July; but he’d been on a mission that time so hadn’t really been able to just stop and absorb it. Now that he was here with Rowan’s full knowledge and consent, he was able to soak up the homey ambiance. He found himself feeling…safe, in a way he didn’t normally.

There was an atmosphere of calm warmth in the place. He’d felt it as soon as Rowan brought him inside the previous night, and it had heartened and sustained him throughout the fear and pain he felt before and during the operation Elmer had performed to remove the bullet lodged in his side.

He glanced at the bedside table by his head where said bullet now lay. Tomorrow he’d have one _hell_ of a story to tell Mick and Lisa and he’d have the bullet to display as show and tell. For today though, he appreciated having some quiet time to himself to reflect on his most recent brush with death. 

Len didn’t consider himself to be much of a spiritual person, but it was hard not to feel a bit overwhelmed and maybe even…humbled by it all. A lot of Len’s life had been hellish and awful but he knew he’d always had a very strong survival instinct. 

Lying in Rowan’s bed now though, he felt something else; a kind of gratitude for being alive that went beyond just wanting to avoid death simply to survive and make sure Lisa was all right. Len had an odd feeling…like he might actually have a few things worth staying alive for beyond just that. It added to his overall sense of somehow being suspended outside of his life…in a kind of temporary healing bubble that hopefully wouldn’t burst too soon.

Suddenly his mind turned back once again to the night before, when Rowan had left the room so he could change into the dry clothes she had somehow magically had on hand.

Len wondered if they’d belonged to an ex or…friend of Rowan’s. He’d never seen her out on a single date the whole time he’d been tracking her so she seemed to be completely unattached; but she could be in a long-distance relationship he realised. He had no strong hints about her sexuality really so…maybe not. There was no way to know without asking.

Wherever they’d come from, Elmer had helped Len carefully remove his wet clothes and ease into the dry ones. The older man had not entirely hidden his concern at the rather shocking number of scars on Len’s body but reacted to them with the professional, though interested, tone of a doctor.

“That’s an awful lot of scarring you have there, Len. I’m…guessing it’s not all from shall we say random circumstances like tonight’s?” 

Len was a bit surprised by the doctor’s directness. Normally that kind of blunt and personal question would have earned the asker a snarl to ‘mind their own damn business’. But for some reason Elmer’s queries didn’t bother him the way they normally would, coming from just about anyone else in any other situation. 

There was something about the old man…a gentle keenness that Len found himself trusting. He sensed too that anything he shared with Elmer while they were alone would never leave the room.

“No…most of it’s from the shithead who raised me…my so-called _father_.” Despite Len’s weakness and fatigue, he practically spat the last word out, as it always had a tendency to stick in his throat.

“Hmmm…” Elmer nodded while looking down. “I figured as much. I…ah…met your father once I think…many years ago when he was still playing at being a cop. I hope you don’t mind my saying so, but he struck me as a nasty piece of work even then.”

The look on Len’s face must have caused Elmer to realise how much he’d surprised him.

“Yes, I know who you are Mr. Snart. I may be getting up in years but I still keep up with the news.” Elmer chuckled softly, then said, “Don’t worry Len, your secret’s safe with me. Rowan’s obviously decided not to turn you in at this juncture so I’ll just trust she has her reasons.”

Elmer regarded Len a moment longer before his face took on a slightly sterner expression. “Just so we’re clear though…it may not seem like it but Rowan has a lot of friends. You won’t necessarily see them around but they’re never too far away so if anything untoward were to happen to her at any point, well, let’s just say there’d be a big heap of hell to pay.”

Elmer continued to regard Len with a steely resolve that was all the more effective due to his calm, evenly toned delivery. 

“I’d hate to be the one who made such a mistake and ended up on the receiving end of all that.” Elmer smiled with his mouth but his eyes were serious.

Len recalled looking up at Elmer and admiring the way he’d delivered what was essentially a very clear and potent warning without ever losing the gentleness and dignity of his overall demeanour. Though Len himself was pretty accomplished at delivering carefully controlled and highly effective warnings, he wondered if he’d ever achieve _that_ level of grace in his life.

He’d responded somewhat emotionally at the time, as he was a tad offended at the insinuation that after all that was happening he’d consider harming Rowan at this point; as if that had ever been on his agenda in the first place. Maybe _more_ people should be reading his files.

Len had attempted to match Elmer’s emotional control but his response had still come out rather sharply. 

“Just so _we’re_ clear doc, I’d be one of the _least_ likely to be responsible if anything ‘untoward’ were to happen to Rowan and very likely first in line dispensing the hell so whatever ghost like operatives you’re talking about would have to take a number!” 

Len hadn’t meant to sound quite so harsh but he figured it was best that there be no room for confusion either, so it was probably not a bad thing overall.

“Well, I’m glad we’re on the same page about that Len.” Elmer had brightened at his words and, at that moment, Rowan had knocked to see if she could come back into the room.

Len was reflecting on why in the world he’d said what he had to the good doctor, and yet, how true it actually felt when there was a gentle knock on the door, as if in deference to that moment the night before.

“Come in,” Len said, not quite in full Captain Cold mode but not entirely out of it either.

The door opened and Rowan poked her head in. “Hey,” she said, then stepped into the room as Snuggles pushed past her and leapt up on the bed, heading straight for Len’s face, via his stomach.

“Snuggles honey! Careful!” Rowan surged forward to nudge the feline gently but firmly away from Len’s midsection, just in time.

Len for his part slowly and with some effort propped himself up to sit with his back against a pillow and started to pet Snuggles as she rubbed her face against his hand.

“Sorry Len…I was going for minimal disturbance but Snuggles here had other ideas.”

“No problem Ro. It’s hardly your fault I’m irresistible.”

Rowan raised her eyebrows, a mildly exasperated yet amused expression on her face. She shook her head slightly, retaining the look of amusement.

“Wow…so, starting to feel more like yourself, I’m guessing?”

“Yeah, well, can’t complain. Still hurts like hell but…I was shot, so that’s hardly a surprise.”

“I have more painkillers for you, by the way. Elmer texted me which ones to get you. Just a sec, I’ll be back with one and some water. Just wanted to make sure you were awake first.”

Rowan deaked out to the kitchen while Len continued to pet Snuggles, who’d made herself comfortable lying flush against his side; luckily, not the tender one with the bullet wound.

Rowan returned with a pill and handed it to Len along with a glass of water. He popped it back and drank, setting the glass down on the bedside table after emptying it. Rowan sat gingerly on the edge of the bed and reached over to pet Snuggles’ head. 

Len turned to Rowan and smirked, eager to commence his teasing offensive without delay. “So…what are your plans for me today, seeing as apparently I’m a prisoner here in your bed? Until you decide to let me go that is…assuming you will at some point.” Len’s eyes danced with sarcastic merriment and devilish flirtation.

Rowan’s eyebrows shot to the ceiling as her face took on the most incredulous expression Len had inspired in her yet. She responded evenly and without hesitation, however.

“Well Mr. Melodrama. I thought I’d call Barry and Cisco and the rest of Team Flash over here to keep you company while you recuperate and let Cisco run through his latest T-shirt design ideas with you. He has literally _hundreds_ of them!” 

Rowan’s deadpan delivery had Len worried for a moment until a small, satisfied smirk lifted one side of her mouth as she noted Len’s apparent concern.

Len inhaled and pursed his lips while still smirking. “You really do have a dark side don’t you Ro? I’ve always thought of myself as pretty damn near impervious to torture but…who are we kidding? I’d _never_ survive that!” Len’s tone was dry but his eyes flashed with sardonic glee.

Rowan smiled genuinely. “Well, I guess that _would_ be a touch cruel of me, especially considering your weakened state. How about we just hang out around the house and you take it easy? I have lots of books and CDs…as you know. If you want I can bring some in here for you. Oh, by the way, Elmer said you should only have liquids at least until tonight so, sorry if you’re hungry but…do you want tea or any other beverage in particular?”

Len smiled lightly and looked like he wanted to make another smart remark but instead seemed to stop and think for a moment.

“You wouldn’t have any cocoa on hand would you?”

Rowan tilted her head to one side and looked slightly amused. “Cocoa? Well, not technically but I could make you a hot chocolate.”

Len nodded. “Close enough.”

Rowan stood to head for the kitchen. Len then added. “You wouldn’t happen to have any mini-marshmallows would you? I mean cocoa, or in this case hot chocolate’s, not really hot chocolate without the mini-marshmallows.” 

Len smirked inwardly as Rowan turned to see him looking as intensely at her as he would if they were discussing any infinitely more serious topic.

Rowan’s eyes flicked down to the floor, then met Len’s again. “As luck would have it, I just bought a whole bag out of the blue the other day…as long as you don’t mind them being pumpkin flavoured. I mean, it’s a subtle pumpkin taste…more like a hint of pumpkin-ish flavour.”

“Hmmm…sounds exciting. I’m in!” 

~

Rowan smiled once again, nodded and left the room, wondering if she had somehow fallen down a rabbit hole sometime during the last 24 hours. All this from the man who had teased _her_ about having a Grover and furry slippers. Geez!

~

For his part, Len settled back down onto a pillow, wondering if he could manage trying to stand soon. The painkiller he’d just taken may have made him a bit drowsy but after a minute or two he resolved to give standing a try.

Len eased himself up onto his elbows again and then slowly swung his legs over the side of the bed, trying his best to avoid pulling his wound too much. He sat for a while before tentatively putting his feet flat on the floor and carefully rising to a standing position. 

As he steadied himself he found he actually felt okay on his feet and cautiously walked over to the dresser mirror to take stock of his appearance. Considering everything, he didn’t look too bad. 

His lack of hair came in handy in this situation as it automatically saved him from having bed head. His colour was okay, if a bit paler than usual. Hardly surprising considering how much blood he’d lost. Otherwise, he looked fairly normal, though Len thought he appeared more relaxed than usual. Interesting.

Snuggles had been grooming herself on the bed as Len inspected himself. She now sat regarding him with interest. He walked back to the bed and stroked her head a few times leading to Snuggles rubbing her face against his hand again.

Len then turned away from the friendly feline, who decided at that point to leap off the bed and run out the door. He silently padded out into the hallway and went into the bathroom. He relieved himself, then washed his hands and face before soundlessly padding back down the short hallway to find Rowan standing over her stove stirring some very dark looking hot chocolate. 

She looked up at him as he carefully leaned against the wall, just inside the kitchen area.

“It’s almost ready,” Rowan said softly, glancing at him. “You look pretty steady on your feet for someone who came close to bleeding out last night.”

“Thanks to you.” Len’s eyes flicked meaningfully to Rowan’s. “Plus, I’ve always been a quick healer.” Len’s tone was light. He felt unusually grateful to be alive and wasn’t in the mood to pretend otherwise.

It still felt surreal that Rowan of all people had saved him, no questions asked. Now that Len was up and about and hanging out in her kitchen, it felt even more bizarre. There was an oddly domestic feel to his being there that should have been freaking him out but, for some reason, wasn’t.

Rowan had turned back to the hot chocolate as she continued to stir and, if Len didn’t know better, he’d say she actually looked a touch shy, or at the very least like she wasn’t sure what to say. Len took the opportunity to fill the silence with his own, still recovering, voice.

“You know, only one other person’s ever saved my life before and that was Mick. Come to think of it, I’ve never been able to figure out exactly why he did it either.”

Len slowly made his way over to the edge of the island counter and leaned cautiously against it. Though still weak, he congratulated himself on having managed to include some of his customary swagger in his walk.

He was gazing intently at Rowan now as she continued to stir the hot chocolate while avoiding looking at him. After a few more seconds she asked, “Does there have to be a reason?” She paused, then met his eyes. “By the way, cinnamon, cayenne or both?”

Len continued to fix Rowan with his steady gaze and reflected, not for the first time, that she certainly didn’t offer up much when she didn’t want to.

“What the hell, life is short. I’m in for both.” Len smirked as if he’d just agreed to go skydiving and bungee jumping at the same time.

Rowan shook her head and smiled, adding a couple of rolls of dried cinnamon and a few rather substantial shakes of cayenne pepper to the chocolate. She then shut off the burner and kept stirring for a while longer before carefully pouring the steaming hot liquid into two large mugs, making sure they each got one of the cinnamon rolls. 

She picked up a bag of mini-marshmallows from the counter and poured some into a bowl, taking a few steps toward Len then holding them out to him.

“Taste test first?”

“Don’t mind if I do.”

Len smirked gently and grabbed a few marshmallows, popping them into his mouth. Rowan had been right. The pumpkin flavour was recognisable but subtle. Len chewed and considered.

“Hmmm…you know these might just be the best mini-marshmallows I’ve ever tasted. Where’d you find them?”

“At the Big Eggplant…you know the health food store right across from Miller Park on Burrows? Look, they’re organic.” 

Rowan handed Len the package and gave him a funny kind of smile, as if she herself was a bit sceptical of the concept of organic junk food. 

“Organic marshmallows, hmmm? Now, is that _really_ a thing?” Len noted the sugar was indeed marked as organic. It was the main ingredient after all.

Rowan sighed and shrugged. “I don’t know but they caught my eye the last time I was there and I thought ‘what the hell’, you know, pumpkin! I just wanted to try them and, like you said, they’re really good so…here.” Rowan passed Len his hot chocolate. 

“Take as many as you’d like.”

“Now that’s _my_ kind of invitation…thanks.” 

Len grabbed a decent sized handful of marshmallows and let them fall gracefully from his hand into his still steaming mug of hot chocolate. He lifted it up to his mouth and blew on the hot liquid while fixing his gaze once again on Rowan.

He was in a chipper mood and felt less inhibited than he normally would in this kind of situation, being in someone else’s domain, so he decided to play around and flirt a little, just for fun.

Without taking his eyes off Rowan while she added some marshmallows to her own cup, he sipped the chocolate suggestively, then blinked and set the mug down on the counter.

“Hmmm…so hot! _Delicious_ though.” He paused, then took another sip. “Hmmm. You sure know your chocolate Ro. I suppose that’s yet _another_ way it’s like sex…no point indulging unless it’s the quality stuff.” 

Len winked at Rowan who had raised her eyebrows and was regarding Len like she just didn’t know what to make of his comments. He did have to admit, he’d just been much less subtle than he ordinarily would be. He wondered if the painkillers he was on had some inhibition related side effects.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go lie back down again? You seem a bit…light headed.”

Len full on smiled now.

“Trust me, I’m fine. Just in a good mood is all. You still haven’t answered my question.” Len’s expression grew slightly more serious. “Why _did_ you save me last night…without involving Central City’s finest that is?”

Rowan looked down at her own hot chocolate for a moment and then brought it to her lips, blew on it and took a sip, all the while _not_ looking at him, Len noticed.

“Still could you know.” Rowan shot Len a mischievous glance that he hadn’t been expecting. In spite of her expression, he couldn’t help but tense a bit.

Rowan giggled at Len’s apparent sudden concern. Len exhaled and relaxed again, somehow managing to pout and smirk at the same time. Rowan’s giggles ran their course and her face returned to a more neutral expression.

She sighed. “I guess I didn’t want to interfere with your and Barry’s deal.” After a pause she continued. “Same reason I didn’t take your sorry ass down the day after Ferris Air…or any day since.” 

Rowan capped off her words with a playfully sweet smile.

Len feigned hurt feelings. “And here I thought you were starting to like me for the person I truly am inside…you know the ‘decent’ one Barry’s always on about nowadays.” Len’s sarcastic drawl was back in full force now.

“Barry’s sweet but he’s young and naïve. He’ll get over all that eventually.” Rowan’s dry deadpan hit Len with more force than he could have anticipated.

“Ouch! If I didn’t know better I’d think you were gunning for _my_ job. That was downright _cooold_ Ro.” Len was pretty sure Rowan was joking…why did it suddenly matter so much that she be joking?

“I thought you liked it cold.” Rowan was smiling, almost wickedly now, so Len decided to just keep playing around.

“You know what I think?” He carefully leaned in a bit more on the island counter and took another small sip of the slowly cooling chocolate. Rowan raised her eyebrows inquisitively.

“I think you just couldn’t bear the thought of letting a cooool, sexy bad boy like me outta your sight. There aren’t enough bad boys in your life. I can tell.” Len gazed up at Rowan through his lashes, offering her what he knew was one of his most seductive expressions.

Len was inwardly pleased with his clever paraphrasing of two of his favourite movie exchanges ever. Rowan arched an eyebrow and her eyes grew wide, her expression bemused.

“Elmer really should have warned me about the meds he dosed you with. I wasn’t prepared for this level of delirium.”

Len burst out chuckling at that but had to stop as a pain shot up from his wound. His face registered the abrupt discomfort and Rowan’s face instinctively took on an expression of concern.

Len calmed his features almost immediately as the pain subsided and his mouth lifted in yet another self-satisfied smirk.

“See, you do care…at least a little.” Len nodded toward Rowan’s face as he continued eyeing her. “I saw that just now, don’t deny it.”

“Of course I care a little. You’re a person and I’m not a total asshole. Give me _some_ credit. Geez!”

Rowan turned unexpectedly and walked away from Len while sipping her hot chocolate, possibly wanting to escape his line of questioning, or at least put a bit more distance between them.

Len contemplated Rowan’s words and behaviour for a moment but decided to shelve his thoughts until later as he was having way too much fun to stop playing around now.

He couldn’t be sure, but he thought he might be detecting a slight blush rising up Rowan’s neck to her face as she sat down on her comfy chair in the living room. Len moved nonchalantly to the couch and only hesitated briefly before carefully lowering himself down onto it.

If Rowan had been blushing a moment ago, her skin had already returned mostly to normal. Len leaned back on the couch and stretched out his rather long legs. His side hurt every time he moved but he was getting more used to keeping it as still as possible so it wasn’t too bad. He decided not to let Rowan off the hook entirely just yet.

“Admit it Ro…occasionally you don’t think I’m all bad.”

Rowan’s mouth quirked up in bemusement.

“Occasionally…when you’re not acting like a scoundrel.” Rowan smiled, looking genuinely proud of her obvious follow up to the movie references Len had made a few minutes earlier. 

“Scoundrel? Hmmm…I’ve certainly been called a lot worse. Yeah…scoundrel seems fair. I can live with scoundrel.” Len peered at Rowan with a relaxed smile. “So…Star Wars nerd or sci-fi nerd in general?”

“A bit of both I guess. You too?”

“Of course…all the _coool_ kids are sci-fi nerds.”

“Now, now. Let’s not descend into clique mode. There are plenty of ways to be cool.” 

“I’m pretty sure I’m the arbiter of all things _cool_ , being _Captain_ Cold and all.” 

Len was thoroughly enjoying their silly, light-hearted banter. It was a welcome reprieve after the intensity of the previous night. He also seldom got to indulge his ultra-silly side or his sci-fi nerdiness, as neither Lisa nor Mick were into sci-fi and Lisa was only around so often to be silly with.

“There’s a difference between being cool and being cold you know,” Rowan challenged.

“Yeah…but I’m an irresistible combination of both. Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone you think so.”

Rowan shook her head with a look of amused disbelief on her face. 

“Are you really this full of yourself or is it all an act? Or is it the drugs? Or…” Rowan set her features to appear quite serious and concerned. “…maybe almost dying has done a number on your cognitive functions.”

Len fixed Rowan with his own amused gaze.

“You know I’m just teasing Ro…you’re such an easy tease.” Len’s omnipresent smirk deepened, taking on a wicked glint.

“Your poor sister must be so long suffering.” Rowan appeared exceedingly convinced of what she’d just said.

Len tilted his head to one side like he was seriously considering that idea.

“She is…but trust me. She gives as good as she gets.”

“She’d have to in order to survive all this on a regular basis.”

“I can assure you…survival is something we’ve both always excelled at.”

Len’s eyes flicked down and then back up, his expression still light but mixed with a much more loaded undertone.

He kept surprising himself with how much he was letting seep out in terms of his actual thoughts in ways he didn’t usually allow. He realised he should be careful not to get too comfortable in his exchanges with Rowan, lest he let his guard down too much.

He also still couldn’t help wonder underneath all the joking how he’d managed to make it through the night before and end up where he was; teasing and harmlessly flirting with a known Flashling.

Rowan, for her part, seemed to be contemplating the slight change of tone. She didn’t say anything for a few moments, looking pensive. She set her mug down on the coffee table between them and leaned back in her chair. Snuggles took the opportunity to jump up into her lap, curling up comfortably, and Rowan started petting her gently.

Finally, she asked, “So, out of curiosity, how did the Santini who shot you manage it? Was it an ambush?”

“Of sorts.” Len tensed at the memory. “Let’s just say the next time I want a late night snack, I’ll either order in or do a better job of watching my back.”

“I see.” Rowan seemed to be considering something before speaking again. When she finally continued, she seemed hesitant.

“Did the Santini get away?” Rowan flicked her eyes to Len and he thought he detected a hint of concern there, but he couldn’t’ tell if it was concern for the guy who shot him or…for something else.

“Yeah…he got away all right. Not for lack of trying though.” Len’s eyes hardened. “It was him or me but…my aim was off.” Len tilted his head toward his side and raised his eyebrows, indicating his wound.

He felt a bit defensive and his mood deflated somewhat. He didn’t like the idea of Rowan judging him for his many sins. Not that she seemed to be but…Len knew he was not a good man. He didn’t need anyone…he didn’t need Rowan telling him that.

He decided to steer the conversation back to lighter topics before it got too mired in the mud of his life.

“So…what are we Ro?” Len was once again allowing a smirk to animate his face and held the look of someone with a great big secret he was itching to share.

“What do you mean?” Rowan asked quickly, clearly taken off guard.

“Well, frenemies doesn’t quite seem to fit. I mean I never _really_ thought of you as an outright enemy, even when you pulled my own gun on me. _Impressive_ , by the way. What do you think…fropponents?”

At first Rowan looked at Len like he’d just grown an extra head and suggested they take up tap dancing together but her expression evolved into one of slightly incredulous enjoyment.

“Fropponents isn’t bad,” she nodded, as if to herself. “But I feel like fradversaries has a better ring to it.”

“Hmmm…” Len considered. “ _Fradversaries_. I like the sound of that.” 

Rowan smiled, still with a hint of incredulity in her eyes. “Fradversaries it is then.”

Just then Snuggles meowed and looked up at Rowan. “Do you agree that’s a good choice honey bunny? Hmmm, do you need something you little muffin?” 

Len was startled by Rowan’s unexpected descent into all out baby talking her cat. He could only imagine what his expression looked like as he observed her petting Snuggles around her face and cooing to her about ‘rubby dubbies’ and ‘cuddly wuddlies’. 

He might have burst out laughing but he was afraid he would bust a stitch so instead he held it together. When Rowan looked up at him he must still have had quite a look on his face because she tilted her head to the side and asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Oh nothing. I just never imagined you being the sort of person to talk like that to anyone. You know it’s ridiculous right? I mean your poor cat.”

“You don’t mind do you muffin cake?” Rowan pet Snuggles’ cheeks and chin again and the feline started to purr louder than Len had ever heard any cat purr before. 

“See, she doesn’t mind. She likes it. Or, at least, she tolerates it along with all the petties. Yes, you’re a very tolerant kitty, aren’t you?”

Len shook his head. “You know, the furry slippers had me questioning things but now I’m really worried. Are you sure you’re that same brash badass who broke into my studio all those months ago? ‘Cause, if not, I’ll be needing to know what you’ve done with the real Rowan. She still has my files.”

“People can be badass and love their cats too you know. Isn’t that right Snuggles honey?”

“Loving your cat is one thing. Talking like that’s another. It’s…starting to freak me out now.” Len was only half joking.

Rowan burst out laughing and he suddenly realised she’d likely been playing it all up once she figured out it perturbed him.

“You know, for a big bad super villain, you’re not that hard to freak out.” Rowan was smirking and looking all too pleased with herself. 

“Yeah, well, for a supposed do-gooder type you have a real knack for being disturbing.” Len figured his light smirk would make it clear he wasn’t being too serious.

“Oh come on. What’s more badass than wearing and doing whatever you want…you know, within reason?”

“It’s the within reason part I’m taking issue with Ro. There’s being comfortable and doing what you want and then there’s all…this.” Len made a swirling gesture with his hand in the direction of Rowan and Snuggles.

“Don’t worry baby-cat. He’s just jealous because he has no one to give him lovey-dovies. That’s what he gets for being big, bad Captain Cold, hmmmhmmm.”

Len sighed, shook his head and continued to look disbelievingly at Rowan as she loved up her cat, who was absorbing all the attention like a big, purring, cat-shaped sponge. 

He had been mostly teasing but, truly, he’d never seen anyone treat a cat with as much love and affection as Rowan did before. He wasn’t really disturbed by it at all. On the contrary he liked the idea of taking the best possible care of an animal; but it did make him feel…something. He hated to admit it, but there might be something to what Rowan had just said. He decided to put such thoughts out of his mind for the time being. He could always contemplate them later.

After some more frivolous back and forth teasing, Len noticed both he and Rowan were pretty much done their hot chocolate. “I can wash the mugs,” he offered, dialling the silliness back a bit. Whatever his failures as a human being, Len didn’t like to think of himself as a bad guest.

“Nah, it’s okay. I’ll clean them up later with the rest of the day’s dishes. Maybe you should go rest some more.”

“Yeah, I might just do that Ro. All that sugar’s putting me back to sleep.” The chocolate had been pretty dark rather than sweet but the marshmallows had definitely topped up the sugar quotient.

Len made his way back to Rowan’s room but paused at the door, turning back to see her placing the mugs beside the sink.

“I’ll just be out in my backyard doing a bit of gardening if you need me,” Rowan glanced at Len and he nodded. “Have a good rest.”

He remained still, watching her as she started to get ready to go outside. 

“I suppose I’m lucky you’re so different than I am.” 

Len was having yet another reflective moment and felt he still hadn’t conveyed his gratefulness to Rowan the way he wanted to but, uncharacteristically for him, he was having trouble finding the right words. He figured it was probably due to the unusual mess of feelings (and maybe drugs) coursing around inside of him, getting in the way of his typical eloquence.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know. I’m lucky that, deep down, you’re a softy inside, no matter how hardass you act on the outside when you choose to.” Len glanced down, then met Rowan’s eyes again.

“Not many people would help out a cold hearted criminal like me the way you have. I do appreciate it you know.” 

“Well…you’re welcome.” Rowan looked reflective herself, then a touch uncomfortable. “We…may not be quite as different as you think though.”

An unexpected flicker of heat suddenly passed between them and Len inconspicuously gripped the doorframe so as not to lose his balance. Rowan held Len’s gaze for a few moments longer, a strangely intense look in her eyes that Len couldn’t interpret.

She then turned and grabbed a bag, holding Snuggles back while she exited the front door, leaving Len and Snuggles staring after her.

After a few moments lost in thought, Len re-entered Rowan’s bedroom and gently lowered himself down onto Rowan’s bed, only then realising how exhausted he truly was. All that back and forth joking and teasing had really worn him out. He fell asleep almost immediately, but not before wondering what Rowan had meant by that last thing she’d said.

Maybe the drugs were causing him to imagine things…or mishear them. As he drifted off though, a small part of him wondered if, maybe even hoped, it somehow might be true.


	9. Blinking First

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a note, there is a small detail regarding Rowan being somewhat gender fluid in this chapter. It's not explored much here and I don't think Rowan's gender identity / expression is explored enough in the story overall to justify a proper tag but I did want to flag this in case anyone thinks I should be tagging the story differently at any point. Rowan's gender identity / expression will be explored a little bit more in Part 2 of this story.

Len watched as Rowan filled the last of her yard waste bags with various dead plants and twigs she’d been clearing from her backyard over the past few hours. It was a beautiful early fall day; slightly cool but sunny and fresh. 

Len loved fall, almost as much as he loved winter. He was glad to be outside in the fresh air, reclining on a comfy lounge chair on Rowan’s back porch. He’d slept for an hour and a half or so, then decided to get up again and had wandered his way outside.

Rowan had a sliding door that led from the kitchen out to the back porch and backyard but she’d explained to Len that she almost never used it to go in and out; Snuggles was just too likely to make a dash for freedom and adventure. It was open now though, save for the screen door, and Snuggles lay just inside, seemingly content to peer out at Len and the great outdoors, sniffing in all the fresh early fall odours.

Rowan had set Len up with a glass of very lemony iced tea with a touch of fresh mint and he’d been relaxing to the sounds of autumn birdsong and Rowan’s garden clippers ever since. He’d grabbed a book from Rowan’s collection on the way out but was only feigning reading it as he took advantage of the opportunity to observe Rowan while he had the chance.

She had moved Len’s bike into the backyard at some point, likely to avoid any unwanted attention it might draw. Len appreciated Rowan’s strategic thinking. There were benefits, he mused, to her penchant for secrecy.

Len had come to mostly accept her refusal to divulge anything about herself. He still hoped to one day know the nature of what she was really up to. Lately though, he had to admit he was less hell bent on digging up intel on her and a bit more hopeful that at some point she’d willingly share something herself. Maybe that was completely unrealistic but…

Len’s thoughts were interrupted as Rowan moved the last of her bags over to the edge of the yard and came to sit on the porch steps, having finally finished bagging the dead plant matter she’d collected. She sighed and took off her gardening gloves, reaching for her own glass of iced tea that was almost finished. She downed the last bit and leaned back against one of the posts that held the roof of the porch up and regarded Len. She smiled slightly but didn’t say anything.

As she leaned back against the post and her pants rode up her ankles a bit, Len noticed for the first time that she didn’t have her legs shaven. Len found that intriguing. He was always interested in people who didn’t totally conform to societally dictated gender norms at all times. He decided he might ask her about it at some point, if the timing seemed right.

Len had enjoyed watching Rowan work. She was quick and efficient but also seemed to take a certain amount of time considering what she was doing and noticing insects and other small animals as they came and went while she was working. 

He couldn’t be sure, but a few times it seemed like she might be mouthing a ‘sorry’ to a plant she was cutting, even if it was almost dead. This fascinated Len, and intrigued him as well. He didn’t want to ask her outright about it, but he filed this bit of information away in his mind for later examination and possible use, potentially as a teasing opportunity.

Len glanced down at Rowan’s face as she continued to lean back against the post. She looked tired and dusty from all the gardening. He had been pretending to read but now a classic Captain Cold smirk spread over his features.

“I have to say, you look good dirty Ro.” Len couldn’t resist lobbing some mild innuendo her way again, seeing as it had been so much fun earlier.

Rowan shot Len a slightly annoyed look. “Is that your way of saying I have dirt on my face?”

“Just a bit of dust really…I wouldn’t worry about it though…it suits you.” Len snickered.

Rowan shook her head and rolled her eyes, half-heartedly wiping at her face but she soon gave up. Len figured she’d probably shower when she went in anyway. He decided to be less provocative for a while as Rowan seemed to be in a more serious mood than when they were joking around before. 

“This iced tea is delicious, by the way. You seem to have a real talent for mixing non-alcoholic beverages.”

“Thanks. I love lemon…and mint…and jasmine tea so, together, well, I figure you can’t really go wrong with all the best ingredients.”

“Can’t argue with you there.” Len allowed a few moments of silence to pass between them and then decided to see where a more serious conversation with Rowan could possibly lead.

“So, at least I’ve discovered you’re a gardener. That’s…something, I suppose.”

“I’m not much of one actually. I like being outside and learning about all the plants and insects and watching the bees and other pollinators and everything but I don’t like having to kill things. The so called ‘weed’ plants I mean.” Rowan glanced at Len like she was suddenly worried he might think she’d made a dig at him on purpose and continued on as if she wanted to assure him she hadn’t.

“I mean I don’t like having to choose which plants get to live and which have to die. That’s kind of what gardening seems to come down to a lot of the time.” Rowan watched Len for a few moments, then looked away.

“Believe it or not, I know what you mean.” Len said after a few moments with a tone of sincerity. “I’m not a big gardener myself for much the same reason.”

Rowan’s head snapped back towards him allowing her to regard him with a perplexed expression on her face. She seemed to be contemplating whether he was teasing her again or not.

Maybe it was the drugs but Len decided to go all in and reveal something genuine about himself for once. It seemed only fair if he wanted Rowan to share more with him. What she had said earlier about them maybe not being so different was still hovering around in his head too and he wanted to explore that idea if he could.

“I never actually _wanted_ to become a killer you know.” Len fixed Rowan with an intense look, 100% serious so she would be sure he wasn’t messing around. Rowan stared back at him with an unreadable expression for a few moments, then looked down at her hands.

When she looked up again she met his eyes and asked, “So what happened?” Her tone was even and non-judgemental but curious.

He tilted his head to one side and rolled his eyes. “Life happened, I suppose. My life, such as it is…and always has been.” Len looked down into his iced tea, then looked back at Rowan and sighed. The truth was that the things Len had wanted most in life were always the ones he couldn’t seem to have. He didn’t feel he could go so far as to tell Rowan that in so many words but…

It really must have been the drugs causing him to share more than he should, or maybe he didn’t want to miss this moment, this chance to explain himself on some level to someone who might actually understand; at least a little.

“I never wanted to be like my father.” Len scowled as he continued to look down, his eyes darting to meet Rowan’s for a moment, then darting away again. 

“I never wanted to hurt people or kill anyone the way I knew he had.” Len looked up and off into the distance. “The first person I killed was in Iron Heights...and it wasn’t part of the original plan.” Len paused to see if Rowan was still with him. She was still leaning back against the post and looking straight at Len with a calm expression on her face, eyes betraying rapt attention and barely contained curiosity.

Len hesitated just a moment, then took a deep breath and continued. 

“I never _planned_ to kill anyone, of course, but…Mick and I were busted during a heist that went sideways. It was my first time in adult prison and I’d just come up with a brilliant plan to break us out when, somehow, without my noticing, another inmate snuck up on us and overheard me briefing Mick about it. Knepp his name was…” 

Len seemed lost in thought for a few seconds, then kept going.

“He threatened to blow the whole thing and tell the guards if we didn’t take him with us. Problem was he was a convicted rapist and murderer and the closest thing to a sadistic psychopath I’d ever met…” Len glanced intensely at Rowan, then flicked his eyes down again.

“I considered letting him come with us but…the more I thought about it the more I just couldn’t live with the idea. I knew he was a predator for certain because he got away with abusing some of the younger, smaller inmates and the guards just turned a blind eye. I knew if he got out he’d keep on attacking who knows how many people and possibly killing…well, same thing…who knows how many. So in the end it came down to either forgetting about breaking out and leaving Lisa all alone on the outside while she was going through a really rough time or…” Len’s voice trailed off and he closed his eyes. 

“Mick offered to do it for me but I didn’t want him fighting _all_ my battles. Besides, he had enough of that kind of guilt already, even if he’d never admit it.” 

Rowan shot Len a quizzical look. He flicked his gaze to her, peering through his rather extraordinary lashes. “Long story. Not really mine to tell.”

Len paused and sighed with his whole body. “You know, I’ve always thought it odd that Knepp was the worst person _by far_ I ever put down but also the one I agonised over the most, just because he was the first. After that, I didn’t kill anyone else for a long time but when I found myself thinking along the same lines again eventually, it was…easier. I guess I felt like I was saving more people than I was killing those first few times. And then…I was in a dark place for a while. Lisa wasn’t around and neither was Mick. Then the Flash showed up and, well, I may have gotten carried away there for a while.” 

The acute guilt and shame Len felt for having frozen the security guard at the theatre where he first tested the Flash’s speed suddenly rose to the surface of his mind. The abrupt and uncomfortable memories he was suddenly awash in were accompanied by the thought that maybe he should have just died the night before after all. 

He’d tried to tell himself afterward that he’d honestly thought the Flash would get to everyone in time; but he knew that wasn’t entirely true. He’d given himself permission, even if subconsciously, to play Russian Roulette with other peoples lives and it was an incredibly reckless and unforgivable thing to do, there was no way around it. 

He’d dug around a bit afterward and had at least found out the guy was single with no kids. That offered Len some relief but it didn’t change the fact that he’d stolen a life from someone who’d just been trying to do his crappy, low-wage job. He did his best to push such thoughts back down into the depths of his soul because that was the one kill he absolutely did _not_ want to talk to Rowan about.

Len continued to stare down into his iced tea as he pulled his mind back to the here and now and then took a sip. He braved a glance at Rowan, fearing what he might see in her eyes but determined to face it.

Rowan was regarding Len with a very thoughtful but otherwise impervious expression on her face. Len suddenly felt the weight of all he had just divulged come crashing down on his psyche. He tried to backtrack a bit.

“Anyway, my point is I never set out to be as bad as I ended up being. I guess you could say my best laid plans went sideways.”

Rowan looked away for a moment, then back at Len, saying softly, “I can relate to that.” 

Of all the myriad things Rowan could possibly say in response to his disclosures, Len was not expecting that one. He tried not to register too much shock on his face. Rowan paused and then actually smiled slightly, though her eyes were still serious. 

“I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m making light of anything you just said but it is like gardening in a way…only with people rather than with plants. And we’re not supposed to play god and weed out people the way we accept doing with plants.”

Len swallowed. He was profoundly grateful Rowan hadn’t said anything too harsh in response to everything he’d revealed because he was already fighting all the brutally harsh thoughts he had towards himself at that moment. Still, what she had said thoroughly shocked him in terms of how much understanding it actually conveyed. He swallowed again and endeavoured to maintain an air of cool.

“Yeah well. Like I said, I didn’t set out intending to play god…it kind of just ended up that way, for a while. I guess I… _owe_ you and Barry in a way, for helping me break the pattern.” Len couldn’t be sure Rowan would believe his words but, for what it was worth, he did actually mean them.

Rowan stared out at her backyard, then looked at her empty glass and set it down beside her. Her eyes flicked to Len and then away, but they flicked back to him again after a few moments. 

Len got the sense something was on Rowan’s mind but she seemed hesitant to share her thoughts. Curious, he decided to encourage her, with his customary bluntness.

“Something on your mind Ro?” Len raised his eyebrows and one of his softer smirks animated his mouth, masking his apprehension as to what she might be thinking.

Rowan looked down again, then back up at him and shrugged. “Just wondering if becoming a thief was something you initially chose or if it’s something you reconciled yourself to and embraced once you already were one.” Rowan let her gaze rest on Len expectantly. 

Len sighed inwardly, realising he’d walked right into this one so he might as well forge ahead and answer truthfully. ‘What the hell,’ he thought. He’d already just admitted to being a murderer, several times over. What did he have to lose?

“I _was_ a kid once.” Len looked at Rowan through his long lashes, somehow smirking both sarcastically and sheepishly at the same time. “I remember wanting to be an astronaut when I was really young, and…a palaeontologist…and a jockey at one point.”

Rowan raised her eyebrows with a softly amused expression on her face. “Hey, what kid doesn’t love horses?” Len smiled slightly at the memory.

“But good ol’ daddy-dearest had other plans for me and by the time I was 11 or so I didn’t really have dreams about being anything anymore. I couldn’t really imagine ever getting away from him and he clearly had my _career_ all planned out for me. Took me on a lot of jobs starting when I was 8. I had small hands so I could get into a lot of places he couldn’t. Then when I was 12 he set things up so I got caught and got my first entry on what was to become a very long record so…after that I just kind of kept adding to it until I probably didn’t have many other options. By then I’d realised the old man actually sucked at being a thief and I started to enjoy getting better at it than he ever was. So, in answer to your question, it wasn’t really initially my idea but I did embrace it once I figured out how good I could be so, in a way, it was a bit of both.”

Rowan continued to look thoughtful. “I guess it’s something at least…that you started to enjoy it.” She still appeared hesitant, like she was holding back from saying all she wanted to. Len thought she might just leave things at that but then she met Len’s eyes again with a determined look on her face.

“Do you ever wonder though what your life might be like if you’d taken a different turn. I mean…if you hadn’t been steered towards a life of crime by your father, things like getting shot last night might never have happened to you. I don’t know, it just seems like such a cruel extension of his abuse of you, to get you into such a dangerous business...especially from such a young age.”

Len stared back at Rowan and suddenly the conversation had become far too raw for his liking, regardless of how much pain medication was coursing through his system. Len scowled and met her eyes.

“I’ve always been able to handle myself Ro. I’m a survivor.”

“Obviously.” Rowan’s voice was soft as she spoke. She looked down and appeared to be contemplating something more before seeming to decide not to push the topic any further. 

“You hungry?” The abrupt change of subject surprised Len but he was relieved to move on to something less intense and personal.

“Now that you mention it, I am pretty famished. Haven’t eaten since last night after all.”

“Elmer texted me while you were sleeping that you could try eating something light around now since you seem to be doing okay so far. I could make you some scrambled eggs if that sounds okay?”

Len smirked. “Thought you said you were practically vegan.”

“I am…I just…sometimes I get some free range eggs at the farmer’s market on the weekends. I know the farmers a little and how they run things and treat their chickens and…anyway, I did say _practically_ , i.e. not totally 100% all the time.” 

Len’s smirk deepened. ‘Still so fun to tease,’ he thought. 

“Scrambled eggs would be excellent.”

~

Len continued to be surprised at how comfortable he felt in Rowan’s presence, as she made them both scrambled eggs and toast for dinner. She added some onions, red and green peppers and tomatoes from her own garden to the eggs, as well as parsley, mint and a sprinkling of spices. 

She didn’t overdo it with any of those ingredients, she said, as she was worried about upsetting Len’s stomach, in case his internal injuries turned out to be worse than Elmer thought. Len was grateful for the extra food though, as he really was starving by the time they ate. 

Rowan had claimed she wasn’t really the best cook but Len insisted the eggs were delicious, which they genuinely were in his opinion. She had a small dining room table in a nook between the kitchen and living room so they ate there.

As they chatted, they somehow ended up discussing some local social and political issues; serious things, in contrast to all their more typical joking. Len had suspected Rowan had very progressive leanings, but he had to admit he was surprised by how passionate she was when discussing issues of corruption and injustice and how anti-establishment and sceptical of ‘the system’ she was. 

It was refreshing to talk to someone who actually seemed as jaded in some ways as Len himself was, but who was also informed and more focused on what might be done about these things, rather than just wallowing in the negativity of it all.

As they were finishing up dinner, Len wondered if he should attempt to draw out something of Rowan’s past or personal life in casual conversation. He hesitated, however, as he didn’t want her to feel he was taking advantage of the situation for his own ends when she’d done so much for him over the past 18 hours or so.

Instead, as they cleared away the dishes, he took a different tack. 

They’d just been joking around again at what a soft touch Rowan was when it came to her cat, and Rowan had warned Len not to let that or her current hospitality fool him, insisting that she would still cut him down to size if he ever stepped out of line and messed with Team Flash again. 

When there was a break in the quipping, Len took a deep breath and leaned back against the kitchen counter.

“Just so you know Ro, in light of recent events I plan to take a break snooping around for intel on your life. Not that I’d been getting very far anyway but…considering all you’ve done for me since last night, I figure it’s the least I can do in return.”

Rowan looked at Len with a surprised yet pensive expression on her face. “Well, that’s a load off my mind.” She paused, then smirked mischievously. “’Course I just assumed you’d already given up on all that months ago but…thanks nonetheless.” 

Rowan’s smirk morphed into a smile and it was Len’s turn to smirk at the mild jab. 

“Yeah, sure, I can admit temporary defeat. But in my defence, I have been pretty busy lately. It’s not like I was able to spend _all_ my time focusing on unearthing your well buried secrets, as much fun as I’m sure that would prove to be.”

“My life’s not nearly as interesting as it might seem based on all the mystery. It’s probably best you don’t ever find out too much about me. At this point you’re bound to be disappointed.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. You wouldn’t be saying that just to discourage me even more, now would you?” Len smiled warmly at Rowan, still enjoying what had become their rather constant back and forth teasing.

“Who me? Never. I just think if I turn out to be anything other than a spy, which I’m not by the way, you’ll end up disappointed.”

“Well, it’s nice to know you’re as concerned about my emotional well-being as you are with my physical health. You really would make a great doctor or nurse you know, if you ever wanted to give up the spy gig. Oh right, we’re still pretending that’s not what you are.” Len chuckled when Rowan rolled her eyes and shook her head in exasperation.

“You know what…just keep thinking whatever you want. As long as you do leave me alone from now on, I’m fine with whatever fantasies you construct about me.”

“ _Reeeally_ Ro? I don’t know if I should be hurt that you want me to leave you alone or excited that you just gave me permission to fantasise about you however I want.”

At that Rowan face palmed leaning her elbow on the counter. “Wow, I really did just walk into that one didn’t I?”

“That you did…don’t feel too badly though. We all let these things slip now and then. Don’t worry, I’ve sensed you’ve wanted me to think of you that way for a while.”

Len’s eyes gleamed with devilish amusement as he’d managed to once again turn the conversation toward shameless innuendo. 

Rowan’s mouth actually dropped open slightly as she glared at Len with eyes wide as saucers. “You…ridiculous, arrogant… _infuriating_ jerk! I can’t believe I saved your ass last night just to have to put up with… _this_ nonsense!”

Len started all out laughing, cautiously though, as his stitches still hurt when his breath hitched too much. “Rowan, you really are one of the easiest people to tease. You’re so much more fun than Lisa. She knows all my plays and hardly reacts to anything anymore.”

“Well…good for her. This is the thanks I get for sticking my neck out for you and being nice.”

“Nah, you just need more practice rather than less. We should hang out more.”

“Oh, I see…you’re already harbouring fantasies and just want to pretend they’re my idea. Good luck with that! I think we both know who’s fascinated by whom in this relationship.”

“Please, Ro. Let’s just admit we both fascinate each other and leave it at that. I can’t _believe_ I have to be the adult here.”

It was Rowan’s turn to start all out laughing. She just couldn’t contain it anymore in light of all Len’s silliness. He congratulated himself on getting her to, finally. She’d been just this side of genuinely annoyed he knew, but finally the humour had outweighed the annoyance and they could both just enjoy the moment. He was reminded how much he enjoyed hearing her laugh and how fun it would be to hear her laugh more often.

Len could admit it freely to himself now…he outright enjoyed being around Rowan. The humour they shared might be silly, but it was fun and good-natured. He’d had so few people in his life he could relax around and tease in this way, when he found one he couldn’t help but want to hang onto the relationship, no matter how unlikely it was, such as in Rowan’s case.

Underneath all their joking, Len felt an undeniable heat but Rowan hadn’t done or said anything to acknowledge it really and their innuendo laced jabs had been the closest they’d come to venturing in that direction. Len decided not to push it any further for the time being, as he didn’t want to risk ruining the easy-going banter they’d been enjoying.

Still, when it came time to start getting ready for bed, it was obvious there was a certain sexually charged energy in the air. Len tried his best to ignore it and he suspected Rowan might be doing the same because she made a point of making sure he had everything he needed before she made any moves to have a shower and get ready for bed herself.

Len couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to kiss Rowan and, well, do a lot more than that frankly. He couldn’t make a move in this situation though. For all his teasing he knew it wouldn’t be fair to her, especially if it turned out she wasn’t interested. 

She’d brought a known criminal into her home and saved his life, a life that had only been threatened because of his criminal associations and misdeeds. She’d let him stay to recuperate, apparently because she was one of the very rare people Len had ever met who somehow managed to see Len for what he was and still thought he was worth treating like an actual person anyway.

No matter what intensity of attraction he was feeling, Len couldn’t bring himself to cross any lines beyond teasing when Rowan had already erased so many herself on nothing more than faith that he wouldn’t take advantage and screw her over somehow. Len knew he didn’t really deserve the faith Rowan had shown him but he’d be damned if he was going to throw it back in her face after all she’d done for him. 

It was too bad though. Len suspected playing around with Rowan physically would be at least as much fun as sparring with her verbally was…and probably a good amount more so because he was pretty sure more verbal fun would be interspersed with whatever physical fun they had.

Rowan was saying goodnight to Len, after making sure he’d taken a pain killer and had water and everything else he needed for the night. He’d quipped that the only things she hadn’t done were tuck him in and give him one of her stuffed toys to hold onto during the night. 

“You can take your pick of the stuffed toys you know and I’ll tuck you in if you really need me to,” Rowan had retorted with a playfully sarcastic look on her face. 

“Oh, I guess I’ll be okay Ro. You just let me know if there’s anything _you_ need during the night. I don’t want our relationship to be all one way after all.” Len wasn’t going to make any moves but that didn’t mean he couldn’t still play around. 

Rowan sighed but she was smiling as she did so. She scrunched up her mouth like she was refraining from saying something and then just smirked. “Have a good rest Len. The sooner you get off those drugs the better. I think you have a really low tolerance for pharmaceuticals.”

“Could be Ro.” Len closed his eyes and murmured sleepily. “Good thing you’re such an upstanding citizen or I would have had no way to defend myself in this situation. I admire your ethics and self-control, you know, not taking advantage of me when I’m sure it’s been a powerful temptation.”

Rowan shook her head with what had become a familiar look of amused exasperation on her face. 

“Good night Len,” she muttered, with what sounded like a measure of fondness that brought a smile to his lips when he heard it.

“Night Ro… _sweet dreams_.” 

Len let his voice lilt playfully as he gazed at Rowan’s departing form from underneath his lashes.

Rowan exhaled a soft laugh and shook her head.

“You too.” 

At that, Rowan cast one last amused glance back at him over her shoulder and slowly closed the door.


	10. Separate Worlds

Len stretched languorously in Rowan’s bed and smiled to himself. Considering he’d almost died roughly 24 hours ago, he felt better than he had in years. 

Joking around with Rowan had not only been fun, it had been practically intoxicating. Once they got going he found he never wanted to stop. Len suspected he hadn’t laughed so much with someone other than Lisa in at least two decades; and that was with him being extra careful not to bust a stitch!

He hadn’t planned to reveal all he had to Rowan about the origins of his criminality, and maybe once all the drugs were out of his system he’d regret it but, for now, he felt an unusual sense of lightness.

Len found himself wondering how it was that Rowan could be a member of law enforcement…of some kind…apparently…and still absorb all he’d told her with barely a ripple of alarm. 

Maybe it was because she already knew he was a killer so it didn’t shock her much to hear him admit it. Maybe she could understand on some level why he’d done what he had all those years ago in Iron Heights…that first time at least. Maybe she’d seen enough of the evil side of humanity that she could discern more shades of grey than most people. Maybe…

Len’s thoughts were interrupted by a soft buzzing sound. 

Len sighed with an air of resignation. Of course. It had been 24 hours and the full day of radio silence with Mick and Lisa was over. 

Len briefly contemplated ignoring his phone and drawing out the little vacation from his life he’d been enjoying with Rowan and Snuggles but he quickly realised that if he didn’t respond fairly immediately his phone would keep buzzing all night.

Len moved gingerly to rise from the bed and retrieve his phone, which was in the pocket of his black nylon jacket, draped over a chair. Checking his messages, as he’d guessed, it was Mick who had just texted him.

_len where the hell r u?_

Len felt a mix of regret and self-satisfaction wash over him as he anticipated having to leave the rather relaxed reprieve of Rowan’s apartment while looking forward to gradually revealing how he’d once again cheated death, probably owing at least in part to his fairly infamous personal charisma. How else to explain Rowan’s assistance? 

Mick would be happy he’d survived but likely annoyed at Len’s smug retelling of events. He’d be sure to lay it on thick for both Mick and Lisa. He figured it would be the best way to beat them at their own game of teasing him over having slept in Rowan’s bed for two nights.

Len made his way back to the bed with his phone and settled in to reply to Mick. He thought for a moment, then thumbed:

_Somewhere safe. Got shot last night. Almost bled out. Fine now though. Resting up with new ally…of sorts._

Len had a distinct sense that he would live to regret his somewhat provocative description of events. He smirked though; he just didn’t give a damn at the moment about anything other than doing what he felt like. And he felt like playing around and throwing Mick a curve ball to see how well he’d catch it.

He waited patiently and, sure enough, a minute later Mick texted again.

_what the fuck len! r u fucking joking? if yes…not funny_

_No joke Mick. Some Santini goon got lucky outside of Lester’s. Be careful round there. Tell Lisa too._

_you gonna text lisa?_

_No. Don’t wanna worry her._

_where r u?_

Len paused. Did he really want to tell Mick where he was and thus run full tilt back to his everyday reality which, for all the excitement and adrenaline, could at times become repetitive and boring?

Len glanced around the room he was in with all of Rowan’s furniture and belongings and…stuffed toys. 

“Damn,” Len muttered to himself. It was suddenly all too clear that he couldn’t…shouldn’t stay there any longer. It was time to return to his life and let Rowan get back to hers.

_you still there len?_

_Yeah, still here. Come pick me up tomorrow morning, early?_

_sure, where?_

_744 Brooklyn Circle, near Oxford and Norton._

_ok now define early_

Len realised it would be easier all around if he made a smooth get away before Rowan was awake. He knew she wasn’t an early riser so thought he’d be safe not getting up too early.

_7 okay?_

_ok see ya then_

_Bring the van Mick. My bike’s here but I can’t ride it._

_sure_

_There’s something else I need._

There was a pause in the texting, long enough that Len worried Mick might have turned off his phone. Then…

_what?_

_It’s a bit complicated. You’ll have to swing by our place on Chipping Street._

There was another pause in the texting. Then,

_i’m not gonna like this am i?_

_Nope._

_fuck len. out with it_

~

It was still pretty dark out as Len readied himself to leave. Rowan had put his now dry clothes on a chair in her bedroom at some point the day before, neatly folded, minus his black top, which had been bloodied and ruined from the gun shot. Luckily his black nylon jacket had been open and had not been damaged; it was one of his favourites after all.

He changed from the clothes she’d given him back into his black jeans and gingerly shrugged his jacket on. He folded Rowan’s leant clothes neatly and, with some effort, pulled on and laced up his boots.

He stood, peering at himself in the mirror in the dim light of pre-dawn and wasn’t sure what to make of the man who was staring back at him. Part of him wished he’d held off telling Mick where he was so he could draw out his time with Rowan in her cosy little home. Part of him wished he could somehow never leave.

The rest of him knew this was for the best. No point getting more comfortable than he already had with an enigmatic woman he still knew far too little about and who lived in a world he’d never been part of and never would be.

He’d made a good call, gambling on his sense of Rowan’s inherent kindness and tendency towards playing things outside the system when expedient. It had not only resulted in his survival, but had led to an unexpectedly enjoyable day and a half of rest and recuperation that had given him at least a few further glimpses into Rowan’s character.

Staying any longer would be dangerous though, in more ways than one. 

Len had mixed feelings about all he’d revealed to Rowan. Perhaps he shouldn’t have allowed himself to be so candid, regardless of how hopped up on painkillers he was. Perhaps he should have willed himself to remain within his shell, showing only the outer layers of alternating snark and flirtation he usually hid behind so well.

Still, Len wasn’t _too_ worried. Rowan didn’t seem like the type of person to use someone’s deeply personal confessions against them. 

If anything, Len was more concerned that she’d possibly read more into them than was warranted and would start thinking of Len as less of a bad guy than he clearly was. He didn’t want to deal with the pain in the ass of ultimately disappointing her. He resolved to act more like a smug asshole the next time he saw her just to keep things real. Within reason, of course. 

Len vaguely reflected on how that sentiment didn’t quite line up with what he’d asked Mick to bring with him but he shook off any misgivings about that and turned around to try his best at making Rowan’s bed for her. He couldn’t bend or move too well without his wound pulling so he couldn’t do a great job but after a couple of minutes working on it Len felt he’d done reasonably well enough. 

He took one last look around Rowan’s room, scooping up the bullet that had almost been the end of him and dropping it in the pocket of his jacket, a shiver running up his spine as he did so. 

He lifted his cold gun and carefully placed it in his thigh holster, which he’d managed to fasten to his leg, then turned to leave. 

Just then he had a thought and moved back to perch carefully on the bed. He rearranged a few things as a mischievous smirk crept over his face.

Satisfied, he got back to his feet and silently left the bedroom, making his way out to the living room. Snuggles was fast asleep on the back of the couch in a rather comical position, one front paw and one back paw dangling over the inner side of it, and below her lay Rowan. Len paused to look down at the two sleeping forms.

Snuggles stirred and lifted her head, blinking sleepily. Len gave her a gentle scratch and she yawned, then started to purr softly. He hoped it wouldn’t be enough to rouse Rowan, who appeared to be deep in slumber. As he looked down at her, face relaxed with her blanket pulled up to her chin and her Grover peeking out from beneath it, he felt…something he hadn’t in a long time.

It was some degree of respect and affection, mixed with gratitude, mixed with…damn. Len knew in that moment he was absolutely right to be leaving. It was ridiculous to start imagining things that could…that would never happen. 

There were plenty of things Len wanted in life that he was exceptionally adept at getting; and then there were the things he knew he could never have. Things that couldn’t be stolen…things that had to be freely given. Len knew he wasn’t the kind of person anyone would ever want to give such things to.

Still, he watched Rowan’s breath going in and out for a while before he silently moved to the window to check for Mick. The sun was just on the verge of rising and early morning light was beginning to flood the courtyard. 

After only a few more minutes their van came into view, rounding a corner and coming to a stop not far from Rowan’s front door. 

Len moved swiftly and silently to the door and managed to open and close it without a sound. He exited the outer door just as quietly and strode as quickly as he could to where Mick had parked. Mick had the window rolled down.

“Hey Mick.” Len kept his voice down, hoping Mick would pick up on that and do the same.

Mick grunted in greeting and raised his eyebrows. “Where’s the bike Len?”

“In the backyard there.” Len motioned with his head. “You have what I asked for?”

Mick chuckled and gave Len a knowing smirk. “It’s her isn’t it? The Flashling. She’s the one you ran to to save your hide. Interesting choice.” Mick’s smirk widened.

“She was my only choice Mick. You and Lisa were offline…there was no one else.”

“Yeah, sure. Didn’t turn you in though did she? Still gonna try and deny there’s somethin’ between the two of you?”

“What can I say Mick…I just seem to have that effect on people. Must be my _cooool_ , smooth demeanour.”

Mick’s face became more serious, as Len predicted it would. For all his ribbing, Mick had a low tolerance for Len playing along.

“Bullshit. She’s some sort of player…you said it yourself. Better watch yourself Len or for once you’ll end up the one being played.”

Len smiled to himself. Mick was a good partner in crime but he was often irritable, especially in the morning, which made him pretty easy to mess with. 

“I’m pretty sure I can handle myself but thanks for your concern. Now where is it? We should get a move on.”

“Here.” Mick gruffed, passing Len the items he’d asked for from the passenger seat. “I’ll get your bike.”

“Thanks. Be careful getting it out…best to make as little noise as possible. Wouldn’t want the neighbours seeing us, now would we?”

“Yeah, that’d be a real crime,” Mick muttered without inflection. He got out of the van, making surprisingly little noise, and stalked off toward Rowan’s backyard.

Len watched him for a moment, then started back toward Rowan’s front door. He let himself back in, as soundlessly as when he’d left, taking care when opening the inner door in case Snuggles might be inside looking to dash out.

Instead the feline was now sitting up on the back of the couch, licking a paw. She yawned again and stretched when she saw Len and looked at him expectantly. He rubbed the top of her head, cheeks and chin as he passed her on his way to the kitchen. She leaned into his hand while purring and then lay down again when Len moved away, continuing to lick her outstretched paws.

Len set the container gently on the counter and quickly set about writing out the note card he planned to leave with it. He wanted it to be brief and elegant, especially as Rowan could wake up any second.

When he was done, he took a moment to consider where he should leave the gift. His preference was the coffee table so that Rowan would see it immediately when she woke up…but he worried that Snuggles might take too much of an interest in it there.

He carried it over in that direction and stood by the table, watching Rowan again and trying to decide. Just then she stirred slightly but without opening her eyes. 

He realised if he wanted to make the smooth get away he’d planned he needed to leave immediately so he carefully placed the items in his hands on the coffee table, directly in front of where Rowan’s eye line would be when she woke up. He gave Snuggles one last pat before heading for the door.

He shot a final glance over his shoulder, hesitating for just a moment as Snuggles regarded him curiously, then passed silently outside. 

Mick was waiting for him in the van, his bike loaded up in the back so they were all set to go. Len let himself in the passenger side and buckled himself up. 

“Seat belt Mick!” The larger man exhaled sharply but obliged and buckled up as well.

Mick started the engine and pulled out of the courtyard slowly as Len let his eyes dart briefly to Rowan’s front door. He willed himself not to focus on how his day might have gone had he chosen to stick around a bit longer.

As they drove through the side streets out to the nearest main one Mick broke the silence. “So…your girlfriend like her present?” A smug grin cracked his face.

“She was still asleep when I left.” Len paused for a beat too long he realised before he snapped, “…and she’s not my girlfriend! She did save my life though. That’s gotta warrant something…unless you think I’m not worth saving.”

“Oh, don’t get crabby Snart! I’m just ribbin’ you is all.” They drove in silence for a while before Mick spoke again. “I’m glad you didn’t die buddy. She patch you up herself?”

Len relaxed slightly and proceeded to relate the events of the last day and a half to his oldest friend. He left out the part about him confiding to Rowan as to how he first came to kill someone. Mick would probably freak out if he shared that little tidbit.

By the time he’d finished his story they were pulling up to one of their safe houses where Lisa was waiting outside the front door. Of course Mick had texted her…Len should have guessed. She had her arms crossed and wore a worried expression on her face.

When he got out of the van Lisa walked swiftly up to Len and glared at him. “Is it true Lenny? Did you get shot and almost die?”

“Yep. Got the bullet right here.” Len produced the small but deadly piece of metal from his pocket. Lisa’s eyes widened and a look she used to get when she was young after one of their father’s violent rages crossed her face; a complex mix of fear, pain, grief, panic and relief. She pulled Len into a gentle hug, her expression settling into a kind of weary resignation.

“Come inside and tell me all about it.” She started leading him slowly toward the door of their safe house.

Mick had unloaded Len’s bike from the van and parked it on the street. He followed them inside, piping up from behind, “Tell her about the part where you gave your new girlfriend your…”

“Mick!”

“Lenny?”

“Whaaat?” Mick chuckled tauntingly.

The three disappeared inside the house, and Len had never been so glad to be back safe with his little sister and best friend, in spite of Mick’s ragging. They spent the day relaxing, with Lisa and Mick making sure Len had everything he needed to keep healing. By the evening, Rowan and her apartment seemed like a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…mostly.

~

Rowan had awoken without opening her eyes, slowly drifting into consciousness and somehow sensing that Len was up and about. He was clearly taking great pains to be almost completely silent and if it weren’t for Rowan being used to paying attention to her surroundings and being naturally hyperaware, she never would have woken or heard him at all.

She had wondered the night before how long Len would stick around. He was still in the early stages of recovery from his gunshot wound but he seemed to be healing well so far. So Rowan wasn’t surprised he seemed poised to take off. It was probably for the best. Sleeping on her couch was okay but not _entirely_ comfortable after all.

She decided that if Len had gotten up and was trying to leave before she woke up, she’d play along with that. She wasn’t one for awkward goodbyes anyway. She had to admit, as much as she’d be happy to get her bed back, she would also miss his surprisingly entertaining presence…and that felt a little bit confounding.

She sensed Len was standing nearby…maybe by the window. Then, all of a sudden, she heard the slightest sounds of the door opening and closing. She waited a few seconds, then opened her eyes and sat up on the couch. Snuggles lifted her head and Rowan gave her a few pets, only for the sleepy kitty to shift position and put her head down again.

Rowan went to the window and saw Len talking to someone at the driver’s side of a white van. She thought she caught a glimpse of Mick Rory through the windshield. 

Well, that was that. 

She’d certainly have a lot of food for thought for some time to come reflecting on this whole unexpected incident but, for now, Rowan was still tired and felt a little cold so she crawled back under the warm blanket and lay back down on the couch. She figured she’d move into her bedroom as soon as she felt a bit more rested.

A minute later she heard the door again and wondered what Len would be doing back. She decided to keep pretending to sleep to see what he was up to. She didn’t think he would do anything nefarious at this point but…better to know if he was really that good at pretending to be at least half-way decent than to go forward thinking he was more so than he actually was.

Rowan couldn’t tell from his movements what he was doing. He seemed to be in the kitchen but she couldn’t be sure. After a short time she sensed that he was back hovering close by to her. She stirred almost instinctively, in case he thought she was totally vulnerable and was planning to try something.

Instead, he moved away from her and after a few more seconds she heard the door again. She opened her eyes finally and he was gone again. She turned to look up at Snuggles and it was then she noticed it. 

On the coffee table right in front of her was a lovely frosted blue ceramic plant container with a small clump of beautiful white roses growing out of it.

Her heart skipped a beat out of sheer surprise and she sat thoroughly dumbstruck at the sight. She got to her feet again and went to the window, just in time to see the white van pulling away and then rounding a corner out of sight.

She walked back to the coffee table and carefully picked up the plant. She sat down and smelled the roses. They had a strong, sweet scent. Snuggles jumped down to investigate. 

Rowan noticed there was a card attached to the container. On one side it said:

 _Thanks again Ro!  
I guess you’re my lifesaver.  
Len_ ❅

She turned it over and on the other side in smaller writing it said:

_Rose boule de neige  
(Snowball rose)  
Hope you like these.  
You can transplant  
them into your garden._

Rowan stared at the delicate flowers for several seconds and let Snuggles sniff them, making sure she didn’t paw or rub her face on the thorny stems. 

It really was a very beautiful gift…classy and elegant. Once again Leonard Snart had somehow managed to surprise her with his unexpected layers; either that or his exceptional talent for feigning them. Rowan decided she’d assume the former for now.

She noticed that the roses that were still just buds appeared red. She’d have to do some research on Snowball roses to figure out the best time and place to plant them outside. 

For now she slowly rose from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, setting them down on the counter so they were safely out of Snuggles’ reach, as it was the one place besides the stove the intrepid feline never jumped up on. She gave them a small amount of water, just in case.

Rowan smiled to herself as she thought of how nice it felt, not only to receive flowers but flowers that would last. She made her way to her bedroom and crawled into her bed, noting that Len had done a pretty good job of making it before leaving, which was also thoughtful.

She snuggled in under the covers and was contemplating the faint but appealing scent that Len had left behind when her eyes focused on what was directly in front of her and she shot up in bed. She pursed her lips and her eyes narrowed. 

“That… _scoundrel_!” 

For all his apparent sophistication, Len had yet again proven how silly he could be. Rowan shook her head and laughed softly to herself as she took in the ridiculous tableau Len had created with her stuffed toys. She sighed and lay back down. She’d put them back in a less…compromising arrangement later.

For now she needed more rest after the tense and challenging last few days. She drifted off to sleep with a smile on her lips, trying not to think too hard about the complex criminal with the intense, penetrating eyes and relentless smirk who had just given her the most beautiful flowers she’d ever received.

~

It was the day after he’d left Rowan’s place and Len was good and settled in at one of his more comfortable safe houses with Lisa and Mick when Hartley Rathaway paid him an unexpected visit.

The first time Len had met him, the air of superiority the kid exuded had rubbed him the wrong way but he’d figured out pretty quickly that Hartley’s tendency toward extolling his own virtues was mostly just an overdeveloped defence mechanism. 

Len had a knack for getting people to open up to him and, after learning about Hartley’s homophobic parents and how terribly they’d treated him when he’d finally mustered the courage to come out to them, Len decided he could accept the kid’s pretentious streak because he understood all too well what it was like to have a parent, or in this case parents, with a talent for making their kids feel worthless.

Over time, Hartley seemed to settle down around Len and he became less overbearing. He clearly respected Len...maybe even idolised him a bit. Len may not have had the education Hartley had but he had ample intelligence and found he could keep up with Hart’s techno babble fairly well most of the time, which seemed to excite the kid rather than threaten him.

Upon hearing of Len’s most recent brush with death, Hartley seemed even more impressed with his employer’s talent for survival in the face of overwhelming odds. Len didn’t specify who had given him a hand with his latest death cheat and he was glad he hadn’t when Hartley revealed the reason for his visit.

“So, now that we’ve established you really are a cat and have moved on to like what, life number seven or so now?...I’m here to update you on that task you assigned me a few months ago.”

Len was relaxing on the couch in the living room while Hartley sat opposite him in a chair. Len’s eyes flicked up to meet the kid’s and he noted the small smirk of satisfaction on Hartley’s face; but there was also something more serious behind his eyes.

Len thought back to what he’d said to Rowan, mere days ago in her kitchen. He’d promised to stop looking into her background as a gesture of thanks for all she’d done for him. He experienced a moment of hesitation now, wondering if he should just tell Hartley to keep whatever he’d found to himself.

In the end curiosity won out though and Len simply nodded for Hartley to continue. It might be safest for Len to find out what Hartley had discovered. After all, he couldn’t manage the information if he didn’t know what it was.

“It took me longer than it normally would to piece everything together due to the myriad layers of security I had to wade through to access even the tidbits I eventually found but, I have to say, it made the whole thing way more interesting than this kind of hacking usually is.” Len could relate. He much preferred a challenge to a cakewalk any day of the week.

Len noticed himself getting more and more anxious and excited at the same time. Would he finally have at least some of his questions about Rowan answered? 

Suddenly he found himself having mixed feelings about whether or not he actually wanted that. Hartley was steaming ahead though and talking a mile a minute so Len couldn’t bring himself to interrupt because, despite his ambivalence, he was simultaneously hanging on every word.

“The home computer was a bust in the end. Took forever to hack and there was nothing interesting on there when I finally got through… _classic_ red herring by the way. The woman’s clearly a professional. I only really started getting somewhere when I began snooping around the Department of Justice and the US Marshall’s Service. Here, I printed you a copy of the files I found.”

Len’s eyes fell on the manila folder Hartley had just retrieved from his knapsack and was now holding out to him. Len flicked his eyes to meet Hart’s, then gingerly took the folder and carefully leaned back into the pillows of the couch, as he still had to be mindful of his bullet wound, which remained very sore. 

He opened the file folder and was suddenly face to face with a photo of a slightly younger looking Rowan with a very different hairstyle, paper clipped to an official looking document. He quickly skimmed it and glanced through the other sheets in the folder, which numbered about five.

He peered up at Hartley who looked like he had an enormous and juicy secret he was fighting valiantly to hold back until Len was finished perusing the files. 

“Witness protection?” Len quirked an eyebrow quizzically at Hartley. “I have to admit that’s not an angle I ever considered.”

Hartley smiled and a smug look animated his face. “As intriguing as everything in that folder is, don’t get too attached to the narrative. It’s all very clever and well put together but also 100% fabricated.” Hartley’s smile grew as he noted Len’s look of dismay. “Which I would never have figured out if I hadn’t come across _this_ while poking around in the FBI’s database. It was in their ‘Agents: Serious Incidents’ section.”

Hartley then pulled a single sheet of crisp paper out of his backpack and handed it over to Len, clearly having planned the ultimate reveal for maximum impact. Len couldn’t help but appreciate the kid’s dramatic flare.

Len leaned forward and took the sheet, eyeing Hartley as he did so and noting the more serious expression his face had taken on. Len hesitated a moment, then leaned back and started reading what was on the page. Not an official document, it looked like Hartley had literally just cut and pasted the text on this one from wherever he’d found it.

As Len read his excitement at finally learning something significant about Rowan’s agenda gave way to genuine shock. He had to reread the whole thing a few times to feel like he’d totally absorbed its full meaning. His brow furrowed. He took a deep breath…then another. 

By the time he was finished he felt conflicted. He wasn’t sure if he was grateful for Hartley’s dedication and thoroughness or if he’d rather never have known what he’d just learned.

Len exhaled and met Hartley’s somewhat concerned looking gaze. The kid looked slightly nervous, now that he thought about it. Perhaps Len’s ambivalence was palpable. Hartley was someone who tended to talk more the more nervous he became and that observation of Len’s held true this time too.

“It’s pretty brilliant when you think about it…creating that whole alternate persona, witness protection decoy to explain the lack of records of her in the system. I mean it would be just enough to make a less thorough researcher think they’d found all the answers they were looking for and stop there. It does beg the question as to why not just create a false persona to begin with to allay suspicion altogether but…”

Hartley continued staring at Len like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. Len spoke up, hoping he would reassure the kid that he wasn’t annoyed or disappointed in any way.

“I appreciate all your work on this Hart. I would never have gotten this far on my own. That said…not a word of any of this ever leaves this room. Understand? Any of it.”

Hartley blinked and noticeably swallowed. “Bien sûr, mon Capitaine….of course.”

Len realised he must have sounded more intimidating than he’d meant to just then. He tried to relax somewhat before speaking again.

“These are the only hard copies you made?” 

“Yes sir.”

“Good. Get rid of any soft copies you have and…I suspect I don’t have to tell you to cover your virtual tracks?”

“No, of course not. Done and done!”

“Excellent! I knew I could count on you kid!” Hartley noticeably relaxed and smiled at Len’s compliment. For all his outward swagger, really Hart just wanted to be respected and appreciated for his intelligence and talents and a job well done. 

“And, one more thing kid. This is exactly what I was looking for so I don’t need any more intel on this particular subject at this time. I’ll let you know if that changes again in the future. I’ll wire you the final payment for all this later today. Well…” Len gestured to himself and the couch, “…most likely I’ll ask Lisa to do it."

“Sure thing. Thanks boss!” He saluted Len in a way that seemed only partially in jest.

Hartley zipped up his knapsack and got up to leave. After wishing Len a swift recovery, he started toward the front door of the safe house but paused and then looked back at Len, who was still holding the ‘incident report’ about Rowan as if he wasn’t quite sure what to do with it.

“It was _her_ wasn’t it?” Hartley’s face had become animated with the bemusement of a sudden realisation. “She’s the one who saved your life this time…the one you went to when you got shot.”

Damn! The kid really was a smarty pants, Len certainly had to give him that. It was at turns incredibly handy and extremely annoying just _how_ sharp Hartley could be. ‘Ah well, better to work with geniuses than morons,’ Len reflected.

“Yes, it was.” Len kept his tone even but serious, brooking no further comments.

Hartley got the hint and simply nodded, looking thoughtful, then turned and opened the door to leave. 

“See you around boss.”

“Yep. See you around Hart.”

And then the kid was gone and Len was left sitting on his couch holding what he had to suspect was an explanation for why Rowan had said they might not be as different as he thought…leaving Len to wonder once again if that was really true. And if it was true…did that mean Len wasn’t as bad a person as he often thought he was…or did it mean that Rowan wasn’t as good a person as he’d always assumed she was. 

Len reread the incident report once again. It lacked a lot of details and overall context but made a few things very clear. Rowan was, indeed, some form of law enforcement agent involved in some very secretive and very dangerous areas of fighting organised crime. All things Len had pretty much figured out already. 

But the specific incident described in the document…Len had to admit he was taken aback. He was going to have to think on all this more before he figured out how he really felt about it. It might explain a lot of things Rowan had said to him though, especially during their conversation in her backyard, after she’d finished bagging up all the dead wood for the season. 

It might also explain why Rowan seemed less judgemental of him than a lot of other do-gooders…why it felt like she could understand him, at least a little. Why she didn’t completely freak out when he’d admitted to her the circumstances surrounding the first few times he’d chosen to kill someone.

Len resolved to keep the information Hartley had uncovered completely to himself, at least until he’d had a chance to discuss it with Rowan…if he ever actually decided to even do that. 

Len suspected he’d just learned the very last thing Rowan would ever have wanted him or anyone else to know about her. A few months ago it would have been a real coup, a potentially game changing nugget of intel he might have dangled in front of her and threatened to reveal to Barry and the rest of Team Flash in a bid to pressure her to give up his files to him. 

But now…now he found he just had no interest in doing that. Even before she’d saved his life he’d been softening his stance towards her…he could admit that. But after what had transpired over the last few days...things between them were totally and irrevocably different. 

Len folded the paper he held very precisely into four squares and tucked it into the file folder with the false ‘witness protection’ documents. As soon as he had a chance to access his most secure safe he’d deposit everything inside, at least until he figured out what, if anything, he wanted to do with the hardcopies. He might end up just shredding them all and relegating what he’d learned to the very back of his mind. 

The more he thought about it the more he suspected that might be the best option. 

Len wasn’t one to make quick decisions but…Rowan had done something not everyone would necessarily understand and some might judge harshly. The more he thought about it though, the more Len had to admit he couldn’t judge her for it. 

He could only see the incident described on the sheet Hartley had given him the way he saw his own actions at times…imperfect and certainly open to critique but ultimately something he could understand. Something he might even have to call, despite his overall distaste for the concept…heroic.

Great! Now Rowan had him potentially softening his stance against even that heretofore thoroughly rejected concept. How and when had this become his life? Influenced by a _Flashling_ of all people…albeit a very appealing one. 

No, not appealing. Tolerable. Nah…tolerable wasn’t right either. Influenced by…whatever! Len decided to leave all the pesky adjectives out of it and just stick with thinking of Rowan as a fradversary, period, full stop. While it sounded silly even in his own head it was likely the best Len was going to come up with so he decided to leave it at that and just think about other less confounding things for a while.

Just before he succeeded in doing so though, Len realised that Rowan had been right about yet another thing about him. 

Now that he had a slightly better idea of what she was up to he had to concede, somewhat wryly, that he was, indeed, on board with it.


	11. Coming Home to Roost

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who is reading this and for the kind kudos and comment. I hope you like this chapter. (:

Rowan walked quickly to the train station in Star City, eager to make the next train back to Central so she’d be home by early evening. It had been an interesting few days and was good to get away for a bit, even if it was for work, but she missed Snuggles and was definitely ready to go home. The hotel she had stayed at wasn’t bad, but the bed and pillows had been too hard and she hadn’t slept very well for the three nights she was there. 

As she entered the train station Rowan had an uncanny feeling that she had somehow missed something significant while she’d been away from Central. 

She shook and stretched out her neck and shoulders and chalked the odd feeling up to the fact that she _always_ seemed to miss something significant any time she left, for even the shortest of times. Hell, was there ever a time something weird _wasn’t_ going on in Central City these days?

Once Rowan was on the train reclining in a comfortable window seat with no one sitting next to her, she relaxed and settled in for the roughly ten and a half hour journey home. Well, what was home for now anyway.

She reflected on her time in Star City and the main connection she’d made while there. It had been several months since she’d checked in face-to-face with any of the other operatives in her network (save Elmer) and it had felt hugely revitalising to sit down in person, even for just a couple of hours, with someone who understood and was involved with her actual work.

They’d met at a casual but really nice Thai restaurant, super busy and pretty loud, which suited their need to not be overheard as they shared some sensitive intel. They still talked in code of course but the constant background noise would make it nearly impossible for anyone who wanted to overhear them to discern what they were saying.

They took all sorts of other precautions surrounding their meeting as a matter of course so, for the first time in a long time, Rowan could figuratively let her hair down for a short while and speak at least somewhat freely.

Her contact was a woman a few years younger than herself who’d been part of the network for as long as Rowan had been. Linney arrived a few minutes after Rowan and they greeted each other like they were old friends, from school perhaps, hugging and making a big deal about how great it was to see each other again after so long.

They exchanged pleasantries and then ordered a lovely meal, complete with appetizers, mains, drinks and dessert, smiling and laughing the whole time so that any casual observers would just see two friends sharing a meal and enjoying a chance to catch up.

What all but the most honed observers would miss were the deft exchanges of small envelopes disguised as the sharing of photographs of Linney’s latest vacation and Rowan’s cutest Snuggles pics. The USBs contained in the envelopes thus got where they needed to go without having to transmit the sensitive information on them over the Internet or by phone, which could never be secure enough for certain types of information.

With all the necessary business items dealt with and coded messages relayed, Linney and Rowan were both able to truly unwind for a few precious hours and their cover became more of what they were actually doing. Rowan really liked Linney and was glad it was her she’d needed to touch base with, rather than any other contact. 

Although Rowan got along with most operatives well enough, a few of them had serious issues with her, due to a very grave…mistake she’d made a few years ago that they’d never forgiven her for, nor let her forget. Linney wasn’t one of those and didn’t judge her and treat her like she was beyond redemption because of one, albeit serious, mess up that, as Linney noted, could probably have happened to any of them eventually. 

Granted, the consequences of that mess up had been pretty devastating and had led to the disbanding of Rowan’s original covert operation and the establishment of the new network they were all now part of. In spite of all the fall out, Rowan had had to pick up the pieces of her life and just keep moving forward while wounded, because, well, what else could she do?

Deep down Rowan still carried a lot of guilt about the whole incident, mostly related to how it had impacted her original team and how they were able to operate; but she’d learned to live with it as best she could. There wasn’t anyone she felt she could really talk to about her deepest feelings and she figured the often lonely and somewhat bleak life she now led was penance that she pretty much deserved.

All of that baggage aside, Rowan felt immensely grateful that not everyone blamed her for everything that had happened. She felt an unusual lightness as she sat across from a brilliantly smiling Linney after eating a delicious meal, accompanied by Thai iced tea with mango desserts on the way. If Rowan didn’t know any better, she might even say she felt downright happy.

After gushing about how delicious the food was and carefully swapping the latest coded highlights from their rather drama filled lives, Linney shot Rowan a mischievous look and leaned forward suddenly, feigning intrigue; which was kind of funny considering the fairly intrigue laden situation they were already in.

“ _Soooo_ , I checked in with Elmer recently. He had some pretty _interesting_ reports from your neck of the woods. Anything you want to, you know, share?” Linney arched an eyebrow and smirked mirthfully at Rowan.

Rowan tilted her head and looked quizzically back at her. “Unnhhh…I’m not sure what you’re referring to. What did Elmer have to say for himself?” She had a pretty good idea what this was all about but was hoping she might be wrong.

“Well, let’s see. He told me you called him a few weeks back for his services…only they weren’t really for you. Seems you had some hot, sexy guy in your bed who’d somehow gotten himself shot and came running to _you_ for assistance. Care to explain how that came to pass?” Rowan felt her face heat up as Linney started giggling at her obvious embarrassment.

“Wow, Elmer thought he was hot and sexy, huh? I’ll have to tell him that. Wait, no, scratch that…his ego’s big enough already.”

Linney slapped her hand down on the table lightly and leaned forward even more, whisper-speaking conspiratorially. 

“Ha! You admit it!” She shook her head while grinning exuberantly. “Here we all are trying to take down the biggest of bads and fight the good fight and meanwhile you’re getting all cosy with one of Central’s hottest and naughtiest super villains. I have to say…I’m proud of you Rowan. I didn’t think you had it in you to play that kind of game. I love it though!” Linney was outright laughing by the end of her excited outburst.

Rowan sighed but smiled while doing so. How was she ever going to explain this without running on at the mouth for hours?

“ _Naughtiest_ super villain? You make him sound like some misbehaving schoolboy. Trust me…he’s a lot more hard core than that.” 

Rowan knew there was no point in denying what had happened. She’d have to have a talk with Elmer at some point about spilling things like this to Linney. She figured he’d never have told anyone else but of all people Linney’d be the one to never stop teasing her about it.

“Hard core, huh? How _hard_ are we talking?” Linney threw Rowan a gleeful smirk that challenged her to get into some, hopefully juicy, details.

“Nothing I can’t handle.” Rowan decided if Linney wanted details, let alone juicy ones, she’d have to work for them.

“Oh really? And how much handling was there?” Linney giggled again. “You know, for some odd reason I wasn’t able to pull up any pictures of the naughty boy in question online but I’ve heard tell he is one _hell_ of an attractive man. Couldn’t keep your hands off him could you?”

“Please. I’m a professional.” Rowan mock glared at Linney. “You know I’d never take advantage of someone like that…regardless of how stunningly hot and sexy he or she might be.”

“So you admit he’s hot and sexy!”

“Well, you know I don’t like to objectify people that way.”

Linney rolled her eyes. “Was he hot and sexy or not, dammit?”

“Yes, okay, he’s, like, the most absurdly attractive guy I’ve ever seen all right? Happy now? For the record though, that’s not why I helped him.”

“Didn’t hurt though did it?”

“Well I’m not going to hold how he looks against him if that’s what you’re asking so no, why would it?”

“Hmm, hmm, hmm. Why does Central have all the cool, sexy villains? Here in Star we just have a bunch of overdramatic, irritating villains and grim vigilantes with issues running around, all suffering from a disturbing case of leather poisoning.”

Rowan chuckled and shook her head. “I’ve heard Team Arrow’s not nearly so grim once you get to know them. And believe me, Central’s villains bring the drama and have issues up the yin yang. I’ll grant you they have better fashion sense though; vigilantes too I’d say.” She smiled to herself as she thought of how cute Barry looked in his stylish tripolymer speed suit.

Rowan hadn’t had much chance in her life to indulge in this kind of fun and somewhat goofy chatting with other women so she was really enjoying it. If only she and Linney could meet up more often without compromising their work.

Linney giggled for another few moments and then seemed to come down from the silly high. Her face regained some seriousness as she considered Rowan.

“You really are okay though, right? Like you’re not actually sleeping with a hard core criminal out of some desperate case of loneliness or mid-life crisis or something?”

Rowan was taken aback by the sudden change in tone and felt a tinge of disappointment that Linney had started down this more serious line of questioning. But their fun couldn’t have lasted much longer anyway so she opted to just go with the flow.

“Well, number one, I’m not sleeping with anyone at the moment, and certainly not with Leonard Snart. I mean he’s a…very interesting person and can be really funny and charming when he wants to be but that’s not what the whole saving him thing was about at _all_. And number two, sure I’m lonely. I suspect we all are at times but I’m not having any particular crisis at the moment, mid-life or otherwise, so you and Elmer can officially relax. Okay?”

Rowan suddenly realised Elmer had likely spilled everything to Linney out of genuine concern for her mental and emotional wellbeing. She wasn’t sure how much she was touched by that and how much she was mildly annoyed.

“Hmmm…” Linney regarded Rowan briefly before she spoke again. 

“Okay. You are being careful though, right? I mean from what I’ve heard this Leonard Snart dude may not be quite like the barely human scum we’re after but that doesn’t mean he’s not dangerous. All jokes aside, he does sound like a pretty hardened guy.”

“He’s done some really bad things.” Rowan paused. “But I don’t think he’s a really bad person…at least not all the time…not most of the time…if that makes any sense.”

“Sure…I mean I’ve known one or two of those myself.”

“And I’m always careful, just so there’s no confusion about that.”

“Fair enough.”

“And it wasn’t like I wasn’t ready in case he tried anything. I’m always ready.”

“Well, that’s good to know.”

“And I’m pretty sure I’m not letting his physical attractiveness cloud my judgement. That would be kind of pathetic.”

“Sure.”

“And I couldn’t just let someone bleed out on my doorstep…I mean, what kind of person could do that?”

“All right, all right! I get it! You did what you had to do!” Linney smirked again. “You’ve really thought all the ins and outs of this through a few times haven’t you?”

“No, it’s just…well, yes, I mean, I have reflected on the whole thing, of course. I do have a rather…odd relationship with the guy.”

“So you admit you have a relationship with him?” Linney suddenly looked super excited all over again.

“Not that kind.” Rowan shot Linney a look of pure exasperation. She realised she’d better not mention the roses Len had left her as a thank you or she would never, ever hear the end of it.

“It’s a long story how all this happened. Let’s just say working in Central leads to some pretty…creative applications of the law, what with all the meta-humans running around. Initially I was just trying to help out the Flash and, well, things just kind of took a weird turn after that. It’s fine though...no need to worry.”

“Sounds like Central really _is_ the more fun assignment after all. I was originally glad to get Star but I have to admit, it can be a bit sombre and boring over here. Maybe if we ever manage to get our current project wrapped up I can move to Central and see if I can’t find a hot, sexy villain for myself.”

“Would it have to be a villain? Why not some hot, sexy nice guy?”

“Some _nice_ , hot, sexy villain then. We both know there’s really no such thing as a _totally_ nice guy right? Or, at the very least, not all _nice_ guys turn out to be quite so _nice_.”

“Well, that’s certainly true but…also gloomy. I know some genuinely good guys…I mean no one’s perfect but…when did you get to be so negative and pessimistic? I used to wonder how you maintained your positive outlook…considering all the horrible stuff we deal with.”

Linney was still smiling but her eyes became serious. “Maybe I’ve just been at this too long. Seen too much. Maybe it’s finally starting to wear me down.”

She leaned forward again and lowered her voice so Rowan had to lean in too to hear her.

“Truth is Rowan, I’ve been thinking this will be my last job…if we ever manage to complete it. Don’t tell anyone…I haven’t 100% decided but…I’m tired. I don’t want this to be my whole life you know? I still care as much as I ever did but…I just think I need a change or I’ll go off the rails and make a mistake or do something…extreme.”

“Like I did.”

Linney looked at Rowan almost apologetically for a moment.

Rowan shook her head. “You’re smart to recognise how you feel and do something about it before that happens. I…sometimes think I’d like to get out too, after this one. If I can.” 

She practically whispered the last sentence, then looked down. She wasn’t sure she’d done enough yet to make up for the damage she’d caused before. Linney didn’t have that kind of baggage. Rowan would be happy for her if she got away and into something less intense and soul crushing.

“I knew you’d understand. What we do…it’s really not healthy, especially over the long-term. I mean someone’s got to do it or the scumbags would have free reign but…maybe you _should_ get out as soon as you can too Rowan. Maybe it’s time.”

~

Rowan found herself reflecting on her conversation with Linney as the train she was on hurtled back toward Central City. Maybe it _was_ time for Rowan to figure a way out of the life she’d been somewhat stuck in for almost a decade now. 

Rowan was one of those people who’d always looked younger than she was, though it seemed to her that was true of a lot of people nowadays. She had no idea how old people generally thought she was but when they found out she was pushing 40 they were invariably shocked. She was actually about to turn 40 in a few days so maybe it was time to think about what the rest of her life could be like if she found a way to move on from the network.

She was still thinking about what types of things she might possibly be able to do or even want to do in her life if she left her current work when the train pulled into Central City train station. 

It was still on her mind the next day too, when she wandered into the Cortex at Star Labs, having decided to drop in and visit Team Flash, not having seen them all in a while. It was strangely quiet and she noticed Cisco wasn’t at his usual place for that time of day in front of one of the many computer screens.

She saw Caitlin sitting at her workstation and purposely made her footsteps heavier so she wouldn’t startle her friend. Normally, Rowan walked so silently no one even knew she was approaching until she was right next to them.

“Hey Caitlin! How’s it going?” Rowan smiled as Caitlin turned around in her chair to face her.

“Hey Rowan. Uhmmm…it’s going okay I guess.” Caitlin wasn’t her usual bubbly self and seemed contemplative and subdued. Her smile appeared somewhat forced and her voice was softer than usual as well. Rowan was automatically concerned.

“Is everything all right? Where’s Cisco and…everyone else?”

“Cisco’s down at the court house with Barry and Joe. You missed a hell of a few days Rowan. You will _definitely_ never guess what happened!”

“I knew it! I had the strangest feeling that something was going on here while I was in Star City but…well, when isn’t something going on here? What was it this time?”

“Well, to make a long, _very_ disturbing story short, we had to help Lisa Snart of all people find her brother, who had apparently been kidnapped by their father. Only it turned out Leonard Snart was being forced to work with their dad Lewis Snart because he had somehow managed to put a micro bomb inside Lisa’s neck and told Leonard he’d blow Lisa up if he didn’t help him steal some diamonds.”

Rowan’s eyes widened at Caitlin’s very animated explanation and the colour must have drained from her face because Caitlin stopped talking and looked at her in alarm.

“Rowan are you okay…you look…” Rowan swayed slightly and quickly pulled up a chair to sit down. 

“Here, I’m going to get you some water.” Always the consummate doctor, Caitlin was back with a glass of water within seconds.

Rowan drank some and Caitlin stared down at her with concern in her eyes. “Sorry, I just…maybe didn’t eat enough this morning. Is Lisa okay? Is…Leonard okay?”

“Yes!” Caitlin sat down again and rested a comforting hand on Rowan’s arm. “Yes, Cisco managed to get the bomb out of Lisa just in time and Leonard…well, Barry kind of infiltrated Lewis’ heist to keep an eye on things and…even though Lisa was safe, I guess Leonard decided prison wasn’t enough to keep Lewis away from them so he killed his father with his cold gun. That’s why everyone’s down at the court house. Leonard’s being arraigned right now on a charge of first degree murder.”

Rowan just sat there for a moment, not knowing what to say. After a few seconds she just shook her head and said awkwardly, “That’s…really terrible. I mean, it sounds like something out of a movie it’s so…bizarre…even for this city. How did Lewis Snart even get a bomb inside Lisa?” 

That wasn’t really the question Rowan most wanted to know the answer to, but it was the only thing she could think of asking as all that Caitlin had told her started to sink in.

“I’m not sure even Cisco was able to figure that out.” Caitlin sighed, her eyes taking on the profoundly expressive quality they sometimes did. She glanced away and then looked back at Rowan.

“You know, ever since Leonard Snart and Heatwave kidnapped me I’ve felt so…angry at them, for how scared and helpless they made me feel. And I was never a fan of Lisa Snart either, even before she and her brother screwed us over with the meta-humans. But seeing first-hand what their father was capable of…how he manipulated and threatened and abused them…I feel like maybe I understand a bit more now why they are the way they are. I mean, I’m sure we’ll never be close friends or anything but…I’m really glad Lisa’s okay, at least physically.” 

Caitlin paused and looked down, indicating to Rowan that she knew the mental and emotional trauma would likely take a lot longer for Lisa to work through. 

“And, strangely enough, I’m kind of glad Leonard killed his father. I mean, at least it’s for sure he’ll never be able to do something like that again, to anyone.”

Rowan had glanced down at the floor but now her eyes flicked back to Caitlin’s, somewhat surprised at what the normally sensitive doctor had just said.

“I hope that doesn’t sound horrible!” Caitlin suddenly looked alarmed, like she thought Rowan would judge her and think less of her for the thoughts she’d just expressed.

“No!...no. I know what you mean. I obviously don’t know all the details but…I actually read Lewis Snart’s file as background on a case I was working on once. He got away with all sorts of things for years because he was an ex-cop and there was so much corruption in the CCPD. I can see why Leonard wouldn’t trust the system to keep him locked up. It never kept him and Lisa safe while they were growing up and look what he was able to do to them even now. Still…I know Len’s a criminal and everything but a first-degree murder conviction in this state is an automatic life sentence or…the death penalty…”

Caitlin was suddenly regarding Rowan with a very thoughtful look on her face. If she had questions about Rowan calling Leonard Snart ‘Len’, she chose not to ask them at that moment. 

“Yeah” Caitlin said softy. “Leonard Snart should be in jail for a _lot_ of things but…maybe not this one.” 

The concerned doctor considered her friend for a few more moments, noting Rowan still seemed jolted and somewhat at a loss. 

She allowed her lips to quirk upward in an attempt to lighten Rowan’s mood. “If it makes you feel any better, he’ll probably break out before the trial anyway. He always has in the past.”

Rowan suddenly started laughing softly, even though she still felt a bit sick to her stomach. She made a valiant attempt at a small smile. 

“You’re probably right,” was all she could manage in response.

~

Len lay on the thin cot with his hands clasped behind his head and his legs crossed at the ankles. He’d been reading for a few hours but was now just relaxing and taking a break for a while, letting his mind wander. 

As far as being back in Iron Heights went, this wasn’t so bad. He had his own cell for once and hadn’t been assigned to any really terrible jobs this time around. Apparently Detective Joe West and the judge had agreed on some perks, in light of the extenuating circumstances surrounding all that had happened. Len wondered if Barry had had anything to do with that as well. Yeah, probably he did.

The guards too seemed to be treating him somewhat better than during past stints he’d done. Len figured they all must have heard at least some of the sordid details of how he came to kill his father and the history of his and Lisa’s abuse at the bastard’s hands. Apparently news stories and assorted rumours were already circulating the city like wildfire.

The strangest thing was, as Len lay looking up at the bare ceiling with cracked paint and spider webs, he realised that although he was back in prison staring down what was very likely to be life sentence for murder, he felt freer than he’d felt since he was six years old. 

He felt like an incredible weight he hadn’t even realised had been bearing down on him for decades had suddenly evaporated and it changed…everything.

Len found himself remembering things from his early childhood that he hadn’t thought about in years: little incidents and snatches of conversation from when his mother was still alive; moments of happiness he’d long since forgotten or blocked out from before his father was thrown in prison the first time and came back an increasingly abusive fiend; times he and Lisa got to spend with their grandfather during the summer and when their father was in prison, before he had died.

Len felt lighter. He also suddenly found himself able to be more philosophical about his life than he ever had been before. It was as if the nightmare he’d been stuck in for almost 40 years had abruptly ended and he’d awoken to the rather shocking knowledge that he had, in fact, miraculously survived it all.

Sure, he was far from being an innocent child at this point, and it was hard not to feel saddened by everything he’d ended up doing in his life, largely as a result of Lewis Snart’s A+ parenting skills; but Len felt less guilty about a lot of things than he had been feeling, perhaps without even knowing it, for a long time.

The arraignment had been rough. Mick couldn’t show of course, as he had outstanding warrants for past crimes, as did Lisa who was also still resting and recovering from her ordeal. She’d wanted to attend anyway but Len had told her not to risk it and to spare herself the stress. She’d already been through enough after all.

Barry, Ramon and Joe West were there but, though familiar, they weren’t exactly friends. Len was used to fighting most of his battles alone but, he had to admit, this one had been hard to face without any real allies in his corner. He’d found himself sneaking glances at the crowd, looking for a particular face he could barely admit wanting to see at all, never mind how much. 

His arrest was very high profile and the circumstances quickly resulted in a media frenzy. The headlines read like something out of a sci-fi comic book:

‘Captain Cold Ices Own Father to Avenge Sister’s Bizarre Attack’

‘Cold Finally Faces the Heat; local super villain suspected of numerous robberies and murders apprehended at last’

‘Captain Cold: Hero or Villain? Our readers weigh in’

‘Behind the headlines: Who is the real Captain Cold and should he go to jail for latest killing?’

‘Murder or ‘Self-defence’? Did the system fail the Snart siblings and, if so, who’s to blame?’

The sheer number of reporters who showed up for the first arraignment, both local and from across the country, was impressive, but it made it hard to find specific people in the crowd, especially when Len was trying not to appear as if he was looking for anyone.

It was not until the second arraignment a few days later, when he had to enter his plea, that he finally saw her. Rowan was seated near the back at first but managed to move up to sit with Barry and Joe at some point. Some of the tension Len had been carrying in his shoulders ever since his father had nabbed him and this whole mess had started eased out of them and he exhaled deeply.

Somehow it mattered to him immensely that she cared enough to be there. He’d wondered where she’d been throughout the whole sordid mess with his family. He hadn’t heard Barry mention her so perhaps she’d been busy with work the whole time. She did seem to drop in and out of Team Flash’s orbit on a totally unpredictable schedule.

Once he saw her, he felt better, even if he simultaneously felt uneasy knowing for sure that she knew he’d not only killed again when their deal had been he wouldn’t, but that it had been his own father he’d taken out this time. He wondered if she would understand why he’d done it, if she knew all the details. 

Len had retained a formidable lawyer, a quick as a whip woman named Veronica Gage-Fisher. She had a powerful voice and a commanding manner and she advised Len to plead not guilty on the basis of self-defence and mitigating factors. 

She told him she planned to argue that the extreme act of putting a bomb inside of Lisa and threatening to, quite literally, blow her head off had put Len under severe duress and explained his decision to kill Lewis. He’d only had the Flash’s word to go on after all that Lisa was safe, and it was reasonable for Len, in his hyper-agitated state, to fear Lewis could do something similar again if he didn’t kill him. 

She further assured him that it helped his case considerably that Lewis had blown his original tech’s head to smithereens right in front of Len because it would make it clear to a jury that he had solid reasons to believe his father was capable of going through with detonating that kind of bomb inside of someone…and he’d seen first hand what the grotesque consequences of that would look like. 

She referred to the incident as ‘demonstrative violence’ and said there was a large body of research about the kind of terror and survival instincts it was deliberately meant to inspire. Her argument would be that the extreme and excessive nature of Lewis Snart’s own brutality had ultimately led to his demise.

At the end of their first substantial meeting, Veronica let Len know she was considering making the highly unusual decision of allowing him to take the stand in his own defence. She told Len she believed he would make a smart, eloquent, confident and sympathetic enough witness that it would likely help, rather than hinder, his case.

Len couldn’t quite see the sympathetic angle but he figured he could do the job that would be required of him, if necessary, which was to answer the questions put to him honestly and succinctly. He wasn’t so sure his blunt, no nonsense style would sway the jurors but his lawyer seemed to think it would. 

Len had no reason to lie in this situation so he resolved to be 100% truthful for once, no matter how painful some details from his childhood would be to admit. He was almost looking forward to the chance to finally let the whole world know what a monster his father had been to him and his sister all those years when they were growing up and how no one from so called ‘law enforcement’, ‘government’ or ‘civil society’ had ever helped them, even though the signs were glaring that they were being abused.

‘Bring it on,’ Len thought.

That was until he found out that the state prosecutor was gunning for the death penalty for him. His lawyer tried to downplay the news saying that it was just some new DA with political ambitions trying to up his public profile on a tough law and order ticket. But Len knew better than to gamble with that kind of scenario, especially after a visit from a teary and nearly hysterical Lisa whose carefully crafted cool as a cucumber demeanour crumbled as soon as she saw him.

So when Mardon showed up out of the blue one late December evening to break Len out of his cell, he left willingly, even though a part of him was a bit disappointed for the first time in his life that he wouldn’t have his day in court.

When Mardon revealed that he also planned to break out James Jesse, however, Len couldn’t help but almost wish he’d stayed in his cell where he’d actually been appreciating the chance to spend some alone time reflecting on his life. _Almost_ , of course, because he couldn’t risk ending up on death row after finally and definitively freeing Lisa and himself from the monster that was Lewis Snart.

Still, as Len observed Mardon and Jesse at the warehouse they met up at soon afterwards and listened to their demented plotting to kill Barry, he knew he had no interest in their plans. He sighed and resolved to do things a little bit differently in his life, now that daddy dearest was out of the picture.

Besides, as much as it kind of pained him to admit it, he owed Barry and Team Flash big time for saving Lisa’s life so he wasn’t going to turn around and ice Barry as a thank you. That would never really have been his style, even at his coldest. 

Plus, he still owed Rowan for saving his own skin only a few short months ago. She would definitely object to him screwing Barry over again and Len was rather loath to repay her kindness with crass brutality.

So without much genuine consideration, he thanked Mardon for the assist and declared in his best Captain Cold drawl that they were even now, allowing himself a sigh of relief as he exited the warehouse into the cold December night. Mardon was a cool, if ruthless, operator somewhat like himself but being in the same space as James Jesse for five minutes was more than enough to give Len the creeps.

It was the night before Christmas Eve and Len realised he had a few errands to run if he wanted to be ready for the holidays. He mounted his motorbike and took off into the crisp, early winter air. With any luck, he’d be clear of Central City before any more crazy shit went down that could stick to him and ruin his chances for a better year ahead.


	12. Noël Spirit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just wanted to wish everyone luck out there, as we all try and get through this very challenging time, dealing with Covid 19. Stay safe and best of luck keeping healthy and sane. (:

Len parked his motorbike on a side street and cautiously made his way toward one of the main downtown shopping strips, manoeuvring carefully among the hordes of holiday shoppers, many on all too apparent frantic quests for last minute gifts. 

He’d reluctantly donned a black hooded winter coat rather than his signature blue Captain Cold parka. Len was nothing if not bold and fearless but appearing out in public in his full super villain regalia less than a day after breaking out of prison would have been downright reckless, even for him.

He quickly made his way through a maze of small pathways off the main strip until he came to the out of the way little shop he was aiming for. He hesitated before opening the door, peering in through the glass first to assess how busy it was. Seeing only a handful of customers, he tightened his hood around his face and quickly strode inside.

A bell at the top of the door announced his entrance and the shopkeeper looked up at him immediately. He nodded at Len and exclaimed, “Ah, Mr. Summers. Your packages are ready. This way please.” He motioned for Len to follow him into the backroom as the other staff member in the shop took the shopkeeper’s place behind the counter.

“Good thing you called ahead Len, I was thinking of doing some shopping of my own at some point this afternoon. I’ll go a bit later I think.”

“I hope you didn’t hang around just on my account Charlie…I’m not sure it’s going to get any calmer out there as the day wears on.”

“Not to worry, not to worry. I’m actually looking forward to seeing what you think of the pieces. I quite enjoyed making all of them.”

Charlie was an older man with thinning white hair and glasses. He’d known Len for a long time and had taken commissions for custom-made items from him many times before. He was a completely legitimate artisan and businessman but he knew something of Len’s upbringing; enough that he didn’t mind going along with the whole ‘Mr. Summers’ thing when there were other people in the shop. He knew Len would never cheat or steal from a small business owner so he didn’t worry too much about taking his money or doing work for him.

He turned to Len as they reached a table in the back and gestured toward the three small boxes sitting on top of it. “Any preferences for which one you want to see first?”

“How about the one for my sister?” Len had to admit he was always excited when he got something made especially for Lisa. He’d come a long way from having to shoplift stuffed toys and cheap jewellery from the neighbourhood department store when they were kids.

Charlie pushed the largest of the elegant looking jewellery boxes toward Len who smoothly lifted it up and flipped it open. He’d given Charlie a sketch of the designs he had in mind and the finished products were exactly what he had envisioned. 

Two gold earrings and a matching pendant made up of several interlacing swirls were rounded out with two gold bracelets that incorporated a variation of the same swirl design. 

Len smiled and looked pleased. “ _Fan_ tastic! Just what I wanted Charlie. Excellent work, as usual.”

Charlie beamed back at Len and looked very proud himself. Len smiled, noting how dedicated and true an artist and craftsman Charlie really was, as reflected not only in the exquisite metal and jewel work he did but also in the way he cared deeply about every piece of art he created.

Next Len opened the box meant for Mick. It wasn’t the most original gift but it was one he knew for certain Mick would appreciate. The silver lighter was traditionally shaped but engraved with a stylized flame design. The quality of the piece was clearly top notch. Len smiled at Charlie again, once more extremely pleased with the final product.

“And now for the pièce de résistance as they say, hmmm?” Charlie looked truly excited to see Len’s reaction to whatever was in the last box left on the table.

Len hesitated for a moment, glancing at Charlie and noting the hopeful glint in the old man’s eyes. He smiled gently and grabbed the last box, opening it quickly. Len’s smile evened out a bit as he stared down at the contents of the box, enough to cause Charlie to be concerned.

“Do you not like it Len?” Charlie’s brow furrowed and he looked very anxious.

“No.” Len breathed softly. “No, it’s not that…it’s…perfect.” He paused, still staring down at the contents of the box and looking pensive. “It’s even better than I imagined it might turn out. Way better. It’s amazing!” 

He smiled softly but sincerely at Charlie, an expression Len reserved for only a very select handful of people. Interestingly, Len was more relaxed and genuine with the old man than with anyone else in Central City. Truth be told, Charlie reminded Len of his grandfather who, deep down, he still missed every day.

Charlie exhaled and his acute relief was well evidenced by his face lighting up and his whole body becoming animated as he pointed out some of the finer details of the piece and described the techniques he’d used to achieve them.

After discussing the art works for a while, Charlie produced a paper holiday themed bag and put the boxes inside. Len paid for everything, adding a very generous bonus onto the total, which didn’t escape Charlie’s attention and obvious appreciation.

They wished each other well for the holiday season. Then Len found himself back out among the throngs of panicky shoppers who seemed to have multiplied in the half hour he’d been inside the shop.

He strode purposefully back to his bike and was thankful to be on his way out of all the craziness. As he left the busyness of downtown Central City behind him, he vaguely wondered if he should get Barry something for saving Lisa’s life. Maybe even Cisco and Caitlin…but no, no that would be going overboard.

He was deeply grateful to them for saving Lisa, of course, but Len had a reputation to maintain. He decided that warning Barry about Mardon’s plan to kill him with the help of that wing nut James Jesse the previous evening had been enough of a thank you present to Barry and Team Flash. 

He was still kind of irritated too at something Iris had said during the exchange, scoffing at Len and saying that all of them had had a rough childhood so he should get over his. After everything that had happened recently with his father and reflecting on his early life more than usual since then, that comment had really pissed Len off.

Sure he knew Barry’d had some truly terrible times as a kid, losing his parents the way he had, but Len wouldn’t wish the hell of his and Lisa’s childhood on anyone. Whatever possible challenges Iris had faced, he doubted they were anything akin to what he and Lisa had gone through. At least she’d had one kind, capable and loving parent to take care of her the whole time.

As for Cisco and Caitlin, Len resolved he wouldn’t ever kidnap them again as thanks for them getting the bomb out of Lisa’s neck. Hell, he wouldn’t even give Cisco a hard time if he wanted to date Lisa…well, not _too_ hard a time anyway.

He arrived back at one of his safe houses and collapsed onto a couch. Len wasn’t fond of crowds and avoided them as much as possible. However, he was glad his gifts had been ready in time for Christmas and that, against all odds, he’d ended up being free to pick them up so of course he’d had to brave the insanity to get them.

He decided to have a shower before making himself some dinner. He had one more errand to run this Christmas Eve but he’d wait until the evening for that. Maybe even late evening, just to be on the safe side.

~

Len stood outside the now familiar doorway and took in a deep breath. He felt unusually…nervous, for lack of a better descriptor. Now that he was here, he wondered if maybe this whole thing was just a bad idea.

When he’d first asked Charlie to take on the commission to create the three presents he’d ordered, it had only been a couple of weeks since he’d been shot and Rowan had saved his life.

Charlie accepted the commission just a few days before the mess with Len’s father started and everything went to shit…and, at the same time, kind of didn’t, thanks in large part to Team Flash (yes, Len could admit that, at least inside his own head).

Len’s bullet wound had still been sore when his father kidnapped him but he’d had to ignore that the entire time in his bid to safeguard Lisa’s life. It had been a horrific experience having to work with his father with the threat of his beloved sister’s head exploding hanging over him the whole time but in the end it had seemed kind of worth it to finally be free of the twisted bastard forever. 

In the couple of months that had passed since then, Len’s wound had continued to heal and barely hurt at all anymore. He’d also had some time to think and reflect on a lot of things while in prison. He’d never tell anyone, but his thoughts had drifted to a certain mysterious person and his often random and unusual interactions with her more than a few times. 

He’d actually imagined this very moment once or twice, but had resigned himself to the thought it would probably never happen, certainly not on his originally planned schedule anyway. And yet here Len was on Rowan’s doorstep late on Christmas Eve, suddenly wondering if he should just turn around and go home.

‘That’s ridiculous,’ he thought to himself. ‘It’s just a token of thanks, nothing more. If she doesn’t want it or like it, whatever. No big deal.’

It was after 11:30 pm and Len had had to bide his time because Rowan had been out until about 11:00, which he knew from monitoring her front door via his live camera feed. He told himself it wasn’t creepy to still be checking up on her movements every once and a while because it was no longer for nefarious purposes…if it ever had been.

Len steeled himself and rang the bottom doorbell, which he knew was the one for Rowan’s apartment. He knew she was in there and still awake too, because he’d peeked in the window when he arrived, just to be sure, and had seen her in her living room. 

Len noticed a movement at the window and hoped seeing him wouldn’t cause her to do something rash, like call him in to the cops. He was an escaped fugitive after all...well, even more freshly escaped than usual that is.

After a few short seconds a fuzzy polar bear slipper clad but otherwise still fully dressed Rowan tentatively opened the door, a look of surprised curiosity mixed with quizzical apprehension etched on her face.

For a moment she just stared up at him like she had no idea what to do about his presence on her doorstep. Len seized the opportunity to speak first.

“Hey, Ro! How’ve _you_ been?” Len utilised his most charming Captain Cold drawl and affixed his most self-satisfied smirk to his face. “I don’t suppose I could come in for a minute without being rearrested?”

Len realised he was putting Rowan in a bit of an awkward spot, as she could definitely get in deep trouble for seeing him at large and not attempting to detain him and turn him back into the authorities. 

Len was trusting that Rowan wouldn’t be any more likely to do that than Barry had. Unlike his visit to the West residence the night before, however, Len didn’t have his cold gun with him this time for extra insurance.

Rowan tilted her head to one side, as if she was still having trouble believing what she was seeing. Her lips then turned slightly upward in a funny kind of half smile and she shrugged. 

“What the hell, you clearly have a singular talent for prison breaks. Putting you back probably wouldn’t do much to ensure you’d stay there anyway.”

Rowan backed up to let Len in and he smirked in satisfaction as she shut the door behind them.

“Snuggles will be happy to have company anyway. I’ve been out quite a lot lately and she’s been under-stimulated.”

Rowan’s tone was even and matter-of-fact, not cold but not entirely warm either. Len hoped her views of him hadn’t deteriorated since he’d killed his father. Surely Team Flash would have explained the extenuating circumstances to her…wouldn’t they? Plus, the main details of the whole sordid affair had been all over the news in those first few days and weeks afterward.

Len was never that great at holding back on questions he wanted answers to. He couldn’t really afford to be in his line of work so, without much hesitation, he found himself asking Rowan what he most wanted to know.

“I’m guessing you’ve heard all about my latest…less than lawful activities?” Len glanced uncertainly at Rowan while stroking a very happy looking Snuggles, then looked back down at the contentedly purring feline. At least someone was obviously happy to see him. No wonder Len was partial to animals.

“I have.” Rowan looked up at Len with a sad but serious look on her face. She paused, then inhaled and said, “I’m really sorry Len…I guess there’s no limit to how…horrific some people can be. I mean I had some idea of how…awful your father was but…I…just don’t really know what to say about what he did to you and your sister.”

Len relaxed inwardly. He’d been afraid this whole time Rowan would judge him harshly for having killed Lewis but so far she didn’t seem to be focused on that. With those few words and the look she gave him it seemed to Len that she understood how horrible the situation had been for him and how much he felt like he couldn’t win when it came to his father. Her caring more about how bad it had been for him and Lisa rather than just how imperfect his handling of the whole thing was meant a lot…meant everything to him.

“How is Lisa by the way?”

Len looked down and sighed somewhat heavily. “Much better now that I’m not staring down a possible stint on death row.” 

Len looked up and smirked slightly as Rowan shot him an unreadable expression. He wasn’t sure what she might be thinking so he decided to continue talking.

“She’s a tough cookie…obviously our dear ol’ dad’s final salvo was…traumatising to say the least. But I think we’ll both be okay in the long run. Especially now that he’s gone for good and I’m back on the outside and free to look out for her again.”

Snuggles was sprawled out shamelessly on her back and was even letting Len gently rub her tummy, which a lot of cats didn’t tend to permit. Len had been petting Snuggles the whole time he was speaking, chancing brief glances up at Rowan as he mainly looked down at the blissed out feline, who was soaking up every rub and pet Len gave her. 

Now he looked pointedly at Rowan, needing to be honest with her. “I don’t regret it. Killing him, I mean. Maybe I should but I don’t. He went too far this time. I…had to do it.” Len’s eyes flicked down and then back up again, gazing intensely at Rowan. “I don’t know if you can understand that.” Len’s voice was low and his tone was clipped.

Rowan looked at Len with a kind of resigned sadness on her face, but also a certain amount of hardness; maybe even anger. After more seconds than Len cared to pass in silence, Rowan finally spoke.

“I do.” Her voice was soft and low. She looked down at the floor, then back up at Len. “I do…I…won’t hold this one against you. I mean, in terms of our…agreement.”

“Thanks,” Len replied equally softly after a moment.

“I don’t think Barry will either.” Rowan looked serious and earnest.

Len smirked slightly at that. “No, I think Barry and I are square for now. I dropped in on him last night actually. Gave him his Christmas present. You know, I feel like the holidays really brought us closer this year.” Len’s smirk deepened, affirming his at least partial sarcasm.

He paused and decided to share the thought that had been bugging him all day. “Iris sure seems to have it out for me though. Not sure what that’s all about.” 

“Well, to be fair, Iris doesn’t know you quite the way Barry and I do at this point.” It was Rowan’s turn to smirk slightly. 

Then her expression turned serious again. “Plus, she’s just recently found out she has a brother she never knew anything about who we all just spontaneously met tonight so I’d say she’s more emotional than usual. You…might want to cut all the Wests some slack for a while.” 

Len arched an eyebrow and asked some follow up questions, Rowan explaining what little she knew about Wally West and his sudden appearance at the West residence that night. 

At that, Len decided he’d let the whole Iris thing lie. Somehow conversing with Rowan seemed to put everything in perspective. Len didn’t need everyone to understand who he really was and why he did the things he did. A couple of key people understanding was enough.

“Anyway, Barry actually told me all about Mardon breaking you out and why he did it. Thanks for not going along with the whole killing Barry idea, by the way.” Rowan’s expression was again unreadable. 

“Checked in with the Scoobie gang for all the latest news already, have we?”

Rowan’s face softened into a small smile. “Yeah well, like I said I just came from Barry and Joe’s place. They had a get together tonight.”

“I was wondering where you were earlier. I guess I should’ve known. It’s good you have friends. Wouldn’t want you to get too lonely with me out of the picture…though I’m sure you’ll miss our innuendo charged banter.”

Rowan looked surprised and possibly a bit disappointed, though Len couldn’t be sure he wasn’t just making that second part up.

“Where are you going?”

“Oh, nowhere special really. Just planning to lay low for a while is all, what with having just broken out of prison yet again and being on the run from a Class A felony charge and a DA bent on inducting me into the lethal injection hall of fame. I guess I came to say goodbye for a while…and to give you this.”

Len gingerly pulled the jewellery box from his pocket. He was less nervous now that he and Rowan had been chatting for a while, but he still felt his heartbeat quicken as he held out the box toward her, unsure what she would ultimately make of it and how she would react to what was inside.

Rowan’s eyes flicked from the box up to Len and then back to the box again. 

“What…what’s this for?”

“It’s a thank you…for saving my life a few months back. You do remember that don’t you?”

“Sure, but…you already gave me a present for that. They’re doing really well by the way.” Rowan gestured to where the roses sat by the window on her kitchen counter. She’d texted Len a thank you for them the day he left them and had let him know she thought they were beautiful.

“You gonna plant them in your garden?”

“In the spring…I didn’t want to risk doing it too close to the first winter frost.”

Rowan’s eyes flicked back to the box that Len still held in his hands. Len looked down at it and said with some sincerity, “The flowers were just what I could think of that I had on hand at the time. This is…well, let’s just say I wanted to give you something more…substantial, once I had a chance to put some time and thought into it. What can I say? After everything I’ve survived in my life I’m kind of attached to the idea of being alive and staying that way and…I wanted to thank you properly for…treating me like I was worth something…worth saving I mean.” 

Len frowned slightly at his less than smooth explanation. It seemed every time he was around Rowan lately he let more of his inner thoughts slip than he’d intended.

Rowan tilted her head and smiled uncertainly at Len. He held the box out to her again and she took it slowly, then smiled more confidently. 

“Well, thank you. Can I open it now?” Suddenly she looked rather excited to find out what was inside.

“Of course. It is Christmas Eve after all. I guess it could double as a Christmas present…if you’re into that kind of thing that is.”

Rowan’s smile grew again and she slowly flipped open the box, which was navy blue velvet with silver accents.

Inside was a gold and silver pendant. It was unlike anything Rowan had ever seen before. The chain was strong but still managed to look delicate. The pendant itself consisted of several intricate forms interlaced together, forming a clear circle but there was no circular frame around the outside. 

As Rowan studied the pendant further, she discerned a tiny bee, a dragonfly, a butterfly, a wasp and a ladybug, all connected by whispy gold and silver plant and flower forms, some of which looked like vines and a clump of which looked suspiciously like golden rod, which she had mentioned to Len were her favourite native flowers.

Rowan was speechless as she gazed from the pendant to Len and back to the pendant again. Her eyebrows were raised in surprise. Finally she found her voice.

“Wow! This is… _beautiful_ and… _amazing_. How did you ever find it?”

“I didn’t. I had it made for you, based on what you told me you like about gardening.” 

Len was extremely pleased with Rowan’s reaction and the astonished, almost awed, look on her face as she continued to look back and forth between Len and his gift to her. She appeared unsure what to say in response. 

“It’s so…detailed.” She was still taking in the intricacies of the piece, which included tiny and carefully placed blue, red, yellow, green and purple uncut stones peppering the insect and flower forms. Len had decided beforehand that he wouldn’t mention those _were_ actually stolen; tiny pieces of uncut gems from his first ever solo heist, the job he was still proudest of. 

“How did you get it made so quickly…I mean, who made this for you?”

“Now, now, I’m not sure I’m ready to divulge _that_ level of top secret information. Let’s just say he’s a 100% legitimate artist and he was well paid for his efforts and leave it at that. I need to maintain some of my secrets or before you know it everyone will be showing up with extraordinary gifts like this and I won’t stand out in the crowd anymore. There’s only so much constantly upping my game even I can manage.”

“You really are competitive aren’t you?”

“Maybe a touch. Is that a crime?”

“No…of course not. It’s just…interesting what you choose to excel at. I mean, first those incredible chocolates, then the flowers and now…this? If I didn’t know better Len I’d think you might be trying to…woo me.” Rowan smirked and eyed Len playfully. 

“Either that or seduce me into letting my guard down with you for some…ultimately sinister purpose.” Rowan directed a look at Len that included a small smile but also conveyed that she didn’t quite know what to make of him and was attempting to size up his true intentions, however playfully.

Len tilted his head and looked thoughtful for a few moments, then said, “In my defence, the chocolates were in response to your giving me gum and then cookies…so in a sense you started all of this. I gave you the flowers because I didn’t want to skip out after you saved my hide without some kind of…gesture; and I’d just bought those flowers and discovered you were into gardening so…it seemed like a good choice in a pinch. And as for this…” Len gently touched the box holding the pendant. “I was already getting a few things made for Lisa and Mick when the idea popped into my mind and…well, _voila_!”

Len looked down at the pendant and an unfamiliar expression flitted over his features like ripples on water before disappearing as if it had never been there. When he looked up again he was, as per his default, smirking wickedly. 

“Come to think of it those _were_ all excellent choices if I’d been trying to ‘woo’ you, as you put it.” He paused looking playful and oh so pleased with himself. “What can I say Ro? Sometimes I even impress _myself_.”

Rowan couldn’t contain a laugh at that. She sensed they were both indulging in what had become their customary banter at least partially to avoid any more serious explorations of what was going on between them but it felt comfortable enough so she just went with it.

She caught her breath once she’d stopped laughing and took the pendant out of its box. She held it up to the light, admiring it anew as the fine chain and delicately interlaced parts of the pendant sparkled. 

Now that it was dangling and swinging gently from Rowan’s fingers Len could see that the insects weren’t stationary, but were each suspended from tiny clasps so they could move slightly when the pendant was held aloft. 

Len smiled to himself as he watched Rowan continue to regard the necklace with a look of amazed, almost childlike, wonderment on her face that he didn’t ever remember seeing there before. 

“I have to admit…you’ve outdone yourself this time.”

“Well, what’s the point of being a world class thief if I don’t go all out for the good stuff when it counts?”

Rowan looked down for a moment as if pondering what to say to that. Len mentally kicked himself for bringing up the whole thief thing and potentially ruining the moment so he jumped in to try and head off any awkward acknowledgements before they came out of Rowan’s mouth.

He held up a hand, “Now before you say anything about not being able to accept a gift like that purchased through the proceeds of crime can I just point out that I believe we’ve already established I didn’t really have much of a choice to begin with regarding my profession and, if it makes you feel any better, I live almost entirely on dividends from my investments, many of which are certified ethical ones, so really, as far as moral quandaries go, in the grand scheme of things, I’d say this one doesn’t really rate.”

Rowan cocked her head to one side in a somewhat bird like movement, Len thought, and looked pensive. Then she nodded...mostly, it seemed, to herself.

“Hmm. I have to say, as far as creative rationalisations go…that’s not half bad.” She paused, looking away from Len, then sighed. “The truth is Len, _strictly_ speaking, I should have hauled you into the CCPD the day after Ferris Air as soon as I tracked you down. I shouldn’t have let you lift my wallet, or break into my apartment, or eaten the chocolates you left in my office, or called Elmer to take the bullet out of you instead of calling 911 that night you got shot.” 

Len wasn’t exactly sure where this was all going and his expression clearly showed it because when Rowan glanced up at him again, her face took on a look of concern.

“What I mean is, let’s face it Len, this city doesn’t actually function very much like a normal one when it comes to law and order. Between all the meta humans and the visitors from parallel universes and the vigilantes and the history of corruption at the CCPD…well, I’ve kind of given up pretending things work here the way they’re supposed to. Soooo, all the various moral quandaries aside…” Rowan smiled brilliantly at Len, “...thank you for the beautiful necklace.”

Rowan looked into Len’s eyes like she’d just definitively made up her mind about something. There was a glint there that caused Len to inwardly catch his breath.

“Will you help me put it on?”

Len smirked. “Sure.” He was still contemplating all Rowan had just said as he deftly clasped the necklace around her rather long and graceful neck. She held her braided hair out of the way and as Len’s fingers lightly brushed her skin he almost started at how hot it was... and soft, he noticed.

Once it was on, Rowan turned back toward Len and looked down at the pendant again, which was now settled about half way between her collarbones and her sternum. She was wearing a deep purple sweater and the pendant sparkled rather stunningly against it.

“Just so we’re clear though, you’re not buying any favours with this and our agreement still stands. No funny business when it comes to Barry; or anyone else for that matter. And if it turns out you’ve been playing at being the charming criminal this whole time to try and soften me up to you...” Rowan shot Len a mostly serious look. “I’ll take you down so fast you won’t know what hit you!”

“Okay, okay, I get it.” Len looked down, then back up again, smiling in spite of himself. “For the record I’m not playing you Ro, but I get that I’m not exactly a study in trustworthiness. Just, take the necklace for what it is…a thank you. No more, no less.”

Rowan met Len’s gaze again and he was pleased to see she still had a glint in her eye and was smiling softly; she looked genuinely happy.

“Don't worry. I _am_ taking it that way.” Her smile broadened as she peered down at the necklace again. “And…for the record, even if it does ever turn out you’ve been playing me all along…I’m still keeping it.” She winked at Len and then smirked in the most flirtatious way she ever had.

“Fair enough.” Len said softly.

Len experienced an electrifying shiver up his spine and immediately concluded it was time for him to leave before he did something stupid and recklessly revealed just how affecting Rowan winking at him had been. He felt an incredible temptation to make a move to kiss her but luckily he pulled himself together before he allowed himself such an indulgence. That wasn’t part of the plan. He was attempting to wrap things up here for the time being, not become enmeshed in new entanglements.

Just then something Rowan had said a few minutes earlier finally registered with him and he was saved from more dangerous inclinations.

“Wait a minute, what did you mean before when you said you _let_ me break in on you? I mean, clearly you were expecting me but…tell me you didn’t think you had to make it easy for me.”

“It’s not that I thought I had to make it easy for you. I just didn’t make it hard for you, that’s all.” 

Rowan looked down at the floor and couldn’t seem to contain a small smile that betrayed how pleased with herself she was about something. She looked up at Len and appeared to be weighing whether she wanted to let him in on her own private joke or not.

After a few seconds she seemed to decide to go for it. “Oh come on. Did you _really_ think I’d have such poor security if I’d genuinely wanted to keep you out? I figured you’d break in at some point so…let’s just say most of my precautions were invisible. Even to you.”

“What do you mean invisible?”

“Well, for one thing I was watching you the whole time. Plus I had Barry on speed dial just in case. I didn’t know you were such an animal lover at the time. I barely knew you at all. You don’t think I’d just leave it to chance that you wouldn’t hurt Snuggles here, do you? Oh come on now…don’t be offended. I’m not very trusting of _anyone_ I don’t know.”

Len realised his jaw had fallen in a genuine look of disturbed surprise so he pulled his features back into a more neutral expression that he imagined probably made him look just a tad nonplussed.

“What do you mean you were watching me the whole time?”

“Well, you have your camera and I have mine, not just outside my front door either. They’re all still scattered around here and there…you know, just in case.” Rowan gestured around her apartment with her hands. “I mean, someone like me can’t be too careful now can I?”

“You’ve known about the camera I have outside this whole time?” Len was frowning slightly now but thought he might start smiling any second. He couldn’t decide if he was impressed, relieved or annoyed...maybe even slightly embarrassed. 

“Please Len. I pulled your own gun on you the first time we got seriously into it. I know _everything_.” Rowan was clearly enjoying herself now and was smirking in a way that Len usually did when he’d just proven to whoever he was sparring with that he was still the best in the biz, at the top of his game and thoroughly unbeatable.

Len sighed and made a soft ‘harumpf’ kind of sound. Then he looked away from Rowan and shrugged with a resigned pout on his face. 

“I guess I should’ve known.” He paused, appearing contemplative. “In a way I’m relieved. I always did think it odd that someone with your obvious…skills wouldn’t notice something like that.”

He paused again, looking slightly disturbed about something, then said in a serious tone, “We’re not normal people, are we Ro?” Len glanced at her sideways.

“No Len. We’re most definitely not. But that’s okay, isn’t it?”

“I suppose so.”

He glanced away again and after a few moments he looked back at her. “Do you want me to take it with me when I go? I guess it _is_ kind of creepy to leave it there. Though it was convenient checking the feed tonight to see when you made it home.”

“Up to you Len. You’ve never really struck me as a crazy stalker type so as long as you don’t ever go down that path it doesn’t really bother me that much. I’ve got my own camera there anyway.”

Len didn’t know whether to be pleased by her comments or offended. Had Rowan really always considered him to be so small a threat? He could totally still be threatening when he wanted to be. She knew that right?

He regrouped enough to respond. “Maybe I should leave it there for now, just in case. You never know when someone with more nefarious plans than me might come by. You might need back up someday.”

“Watching my back now are you? We’ve certainly come a long way in this _fradversaries_ relationship of ours.”

Len resisted the urge to make a saucy quip about where exactly he was watching in the vicinity of her back. They’d just agreed he wasn’t a creepy stalker so…best not to go there.

“Well,” Len cleared his throat. “As I said I’ll be out of town for the next while but…once I’m back, sure, why not? You did say before that I’d agree with what you’re up to if I knew more about it. I’ll just have to keep trusting you on that for now.” Len wasn’t about to let on he had more of an idea what she was mixed up in since they last spoke.

At that thought, Len reluctantly deemed it time for him to leave. The cheeky banter was once again just too much fun and if he didn’t leave now he might end up backing and forthing like this with Rowan all night; a prospect that, while appealing, was in no way safe for Len at this point and he knew it.

“So on that note, I’ll be off Ro. Take care of yourself. Don’t let Barry pull you into anything too crazy while I’m gone.” Len started to turn to make for the door but then turned back. “Oh, and when you see the scarlet speedster in question, tell him I’m glad he made short work of Mardon and that freak show Jesse. I knew he didn’t need my assistance with that and, as usual, I was right.”

“Wait…before you go.” Rowan zipped off quickly to her bedroom and came back out within a few seconds. “I actually have something for you that I almost forgot about. I was thinking of maybe coming to visit you at Iron Heights in a few days to give it to you but…well, here you are so…here.”

Len felt a sudden and inconvenient lump in his throat at the thought that Rowan had been planning to visit him in prison, to give him something no less. He’d never have guessed that in a million years. 

She held the object out to him. It was an unwrapped book; one that he’d actually been planning to pick up and read for a while now. He hadn’t been able to get it in prison though because it was relatively newly published.

He took it silently, struggling to hide the emotions that were threatening to run rampant all over his face. 

“Merry Christmas Len…if you’re into that sort of thing that is. Are you?” Rowan looked a bit nervous as she looked at him.

He nodded, then found his voice. “Thank you.”

“It’s obviously not as impressive as your gift to me but…I hope you like it anyway.”

“It’s perfect actually. I’ll be needing some good reading material for my trip.”

They stood just inside Rowan’s inner doorway for a few seconds, regarding each other. Len finally broke the silence, his voice low but warm.

“I should really get going but…I meant what I said. Take care of yourself Ro. I expect you and Snuggles to still be here in one piece when I get back. I need _someone_ reasonable to talk to with the likes of Barry Allen and assorted other meta crazies running rampant around Central these days.”

“Oh come on…Barry’s not crazy, he’s a sweetheart.”

“Those two things aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“Yeah, well. Take care of yourself too Len. I hope you have a chance to, you know, rest a bit. After everything.”

“That’s the plan.” Rowan had opened her inner door and they were now in the small hallway, Len having given Snuggles one last goodbye pet and scratch under the chin before Rowan closed the door. He now opened the outer door and started moving into the night.

Rowan watched him go as she leaned against the outer doorframe. Len strode to his bike and started putting on his helmet. He couldn’t resist one last quip though, hoping to get the last word in with Rowan, for once.

“Try not to pine away for me too much. I’ll be back before you know it so no need to cry yourself to sleep every night. Chin up and all.”

Rowan just shook her head and stifled a small laugh. “Have a good trip Len,” she called after him. There was just no point fuelling the silliness when Len said ridiculous things like that.

“I’m sure I will.” Len was on his bike and turned the ignition, the engine roaring to life and shattering the peaceful silence of the courtyard as a light fluffy snow started to fall.

He nodded one last time to Rowan while grinning, and then took off, disappearing around the corner within a few seconds. 

~

Rowan sighed and stared after him for a while, enjoying the snowfall and how quiet everything was as the soft flakes fell, now that Len was gone.

She eventually closed her door and went back into her apartment, scooping up Snuggles who had been waiting patiently just inside the door. She had contemplated giving Len a kiss on the cheek before he left but was glad she hadn’t done it in the end. She figured that would almost certainly have turned out to be awkward and weird.

She was happy for Len that he was taking some time out to get away from all the craziness in Central City. It seemed like a wise thing to do, all things considered. She wondered if Lisa and maybe even Mick would go with him. That would give Barry a break from at least that group of rogues.

At the same time, if she was being honest with herself, she had to admit to feeling a touch of sadness that she wouldn’t see him for a while; well, who knew how long. It was nuts to think she was at the point that she really would miss him…but she’d been kind of missing him already during the time he was in Iron Heights. She’d been worried about him too, wondering how he was doing.

She felt better having seen him, even if only briefly, and sensed he’d be fine in the long run. He was, as he’d said himself more than once, a survivor. She gently ran her fingers over the pendant he’d given her and smiled. Maybe it shouldn’t fill her with such a warm feeling to have received such a beautiful and thoughtful gift from the likes of Leonard Snart. But it did. 

Rowan hadn’t grown up with much in terms of family and most Christmases had come and gone in her adult life with little in the way of company or festivities, least of all gifts. She reflected that she probably shouldn’t attach so much meaning to a simple thank you gift. She shouldn’t be so shallow as to care so much about something so material. 

Oh, who was she kidding? She’d never had something made just for her before, let alone something so beautiful and personalised and it just felt...special. As she climbed into bed that night she put the pendant on again, having taken it off briefly for a shower. She’d just wear it tonight she told herself, just because it was new. 

And if it still felt new the next night, and the next, and for the weeks and months after that, well, time is a relative thing after all. She consciously thought of him often while wearing it…but mostly he remained an ever-present yet enigmatic shadow at the back of her mind. 

As the months passed and Rowan got more and more engrossed in planning the next attempt to take down the amoral brute her network had been gunning at for years now, their exchanges fell more and more into the murky recesses of her memory. 

She remembered him with a kind of bemused fondness and inconclusive curiosity, but came to think she might not actually ever see him again, and she had to be okay with that, disappointing as it might be. 

She’d never _really_ known the crook anyway, she told herself. He’d been a fun and intriguing distraction for a while, but she had to focus on real life in the here and now...and that was easier when he wasn’t around to pop up at random and possibly inopportune times. 

It was better this way she reflected, as she fingered her pendant each night; the last thing she did nowadays before drifting off to sleep. It was a truly wonderful necklace after all, regardless of who gave it to her or why. She should just leave it at that.


	13. Aruban Interlude (a.k.a. Mick’s Pick)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here we are at the last chapter of Part 1 of this story! I'll start posting Part 2 in a few days. I hope anyone who's read this far has enjoyed the story and continues with Part 2, which is quite a bit steamier and has more canon character appearances. I just wanted to give a heads up that there are references to sex work in this chapter, as well as to sex trafficking. This is a bit of a different kind of chapter but I hope readers enjoy it. I did a fair amount of research for this one which was really fun. Thanks to everyone who has left kudos or a comment on this story and thanks so much for reading! (:

Len and Lisa both lay stretched out on lounge chairs underneath the canopy of a palapa hut. The creamy white sand of Eagle beach, Aruba stretched out before them until it touched the almost unbelievably brilliant azure of the south Caribbean Sea. 

They could easily pick Mick out among the windsurfers on the water, even though they were quite far back from the shore. He was the one who kept weaving through and whizzing around everyone else out there like a whirling dervish and seemed to always be going faster than all the other surfers.

“That’s our Mick,” Lisa smiled at her brother who returned her grin.

Lisa sipped her Chocolate Spice martini as Len shot back the last of his Kamikaze. She’d finally convinced him to try something other than one of the local beers and he had to concede the blend of vodka, triple sec, lemon juice and Cointreau was pretty satisfying in the _relatively_ dry Aruban heat. He’d always had a weakness for citrus.

The three rogues had arrived on the island just over two weeks before and were now pretty settled into a routine that mainly involved lounging around at the beach or by a pool in the case of Lisa and Len, and surfing, swimming and partying in the case of Mick. 

Len and Lisa did sometimes join Mick in the water or at the bar but Len generally preferred reading in the shade and Lisa was savouring the opportunity to hang out with her brother after all the genuinely terrifying life and death drama that had played out over the previous few months for them.

There were many moments while Cisco and Team Flash worked on getting the micro-bomb out of her neck when Lisa had feared she might not live to see her brother ever again. 

When she found out he’d finally snapped and quite literally iced their father as soon as he knew she was safe, she had been flooded with a sense of relief that was even more overwhelming than the relief of knowing her head wasn’t about to blow up at any moment, which was really saying something.

She hadn’t had much chance to enjoy the sensation though, as Len was immediately arrested and charged with first-degree murder. Lisa still felt that was just so completely unfair, considering what their monster of a father had just put them both through. But then the world had always been unfair and hostile toward the Snart siblings so she figured she shouldn’t be surprised.

She could have handled it, she thought, if it weren’t for that horrible DA who took it upon himself to start vocally pushing for her precious Lenny to be executed, even before the trial was anywhere near on the horizon. 

Lisa would have allowed that to happen over her own dead body, but luckily Mardon’s timely intervention ensured that she hadn’t had to do anything rash herself. She, Len and Mick had made a clean get away on Christmas Day, heading for a much-deserved restful vacation, far from the mean streets of Central City.

Setting down her martini on the small round table next to her, Lisa reclined back in her lounge chair and closed her eyes. She couldn’t remember a time in her life she’d felt so happy and at ease. She stole a glance at her brother where he sat more upright, ensconced in yet another book, reading maniac that he was.

She could have sworn he’d finished that one already; but then she wouldn’t put it past her nerdy brother to be reading the damn thing all over again. Whatever. As long as he was happy, that’s all that mattered.

She smiled to herself and closed her eyes again. She wouldn’t mind if they never returned to Central City, and the three of them just stayed here like this forever.

~

Aruba wouldn’t have been Len’s first choice of vacation spot, that’s for sure. Most days it was relentlessly hot and sunny and the architecture was a tad too colourful and cheery for his liking. It was Mick’s turn to pick where they would go though, so he’d had to just suck it up and deal.

Now that he’d acclimatised a bit, he was finding that it wasn’t all that bad. There was usually some breeze coming off the ocean and the evenings were reasonably pleasant. Due to the somewhat arid climate of the small island, they had at least dodged the humidity bullet of many of the islands further north. Well, sort of.

It was more humid most days than Len had expected from reading what he had on the Internet before coming. They’d arrived at the tail end of the rainy season and staff at the rental apartments where they were staying assured them that the following months starting in February would be drier.

Len was actually doing okay in the heat, all things considered, mainly because their apartments were air-conditioned and he spent a fair amount of time indoors most days so it balanced out the outdoor beach time reasonably well. 

Truth be told, the great Captain Cold was not, in fact, an all-out enemy of heat so much as he simply preferred cooler, more temperate weather. He would take the cold, crispness of winter over the hazy heat of summer any day.

Once they all settled in Len found he was, somewhat surprisingly, having a pretty good time. The previous few months had been extremely trying to say the least and he hadn’t realised how much he’d needed to spend some stress-free time with his sister until they were finally able to pass all day, every day together doing whatever the hell they felt like; and ultimately, not much of anything other than just hanging out.

Len had felt the relief of not having lost Lisa pretty much every day since Lewis’ final heist went down but he hadn’t really had a chance to fully process his feelings in prison, where Lisa had only been able to sneak in a few brief visits. He’d tried to put on a stoic face for her those times and they’d had no privacy, so it wasn’t like they’d had a chance to really talk about everything that had happened back in Central.

Now that they _could_ talk it seemed like they didn’t need to. It was enough to be safe and in one piece together and to know that their crappy piece of shit father could never hurt either of them again; or anyone else for that matter.

It was so novel for Len, being out and about in the world and, for the first time in his adult life, feeling like he could be someone other than Lewis Snart’s son, the boy who never truly got himself and his little sister away from the monster they grew up with, no matter how hard he’d tried. 

Well, they were away from him now, finally and for good.

He and Lisa had both managed to survive and outlive their tormentor and now they had the means and opportunity to enjoy that fact. Len went to bed most nights still wondering if he’d wake up and this would all turn out to be a fanciful dream. He sure as hell hoped not because he’d had just about all the fucked up trauma he could absorb in his life, lately or otherwise.

Len glanced over at Lisa who was lying back on her fully reclined chair with her eyes closed and a small smile on her lips, just enjoying the chance to relax at a beautiful beach. He thought about how they’d never been able to go anywhere or do much that was fun when they were young and how great it felt to finally be able to enjoy life like other people seemed to, without the shadow of their father hanging over them like it always had before.

It felt good too, to take a break from being a wanted criminal for a while. Len did tend to enjoy giving law enforcement a run for their money, but he was currently savouring the experience of being anonymous among a sea of ordinary, everyday vacationers and being seen by everyone they interacted with as just another tourist on holiday. Len imagined he could even get used to this feeling, if he ever needed to.

The three rogues had vacationed together before, but this was their first tropical beach holiday. The first time they’d taken off together was years ago and Len had picked the destination and itinerary that time. In Lisa’s words, he’d ‘dragged’ them all over Mexico, Central and South America to many of the most famous Indigenous monuments and temples in the region.

Len was fascinated by ancient cultures and Indigenous history so the trip was by far the most exciting thing he’d ever done up until that point in his life. Lisa and Mick didn’t entirely share his enthusiasm, however, especially since Len wouldn’t let them steal anything while travelling. The two of them spent a good deal of the time searching out local bars and complaining, much to Len’s annoyance.

The next trip they’d taken a few years later had been Lisa’s choice and she’d insisted on an extended two-month stay in Paris with day and weekend trips to surrounding areas. 

Lisa spent copious amounts of time during their first few weeks in Paris sitting in outdoor cafés sipping various forms of caffeinated or sweet beverages and eating delectable pastries while Len tried to keep a very grumpy Mick occupied by scoping out all the museums and other cultural venues they could potentially rob of priceless items.

About a month into their stay Lisa declared she’d found her spiritual home. Len was the only one of the three of them who picked up languages easily, however, and so, after a while longer, Lisa announced Paris would be her sometimes place and they all hoofed it back to Central City.

Mick was clearly in his element here in Aruba, Len reflected, as he watched his criminal partner sailing along the waves, catching the wind and eventually falling down into the water, only to pop right back up to go through the whole process over and over and over again, often all afternoon long. ‘The man certainly has stamina,’ Len thought.

He’d been sceptical at first about this trip but he had to concede that of all their vacations together, this one was working out best in terms of everyone being reasonably satisfied. Mick was having the time of his life and Len and Lisa were having a pretty fun, if more subdued, time too. Life was good and Len couldn’t complain for once. Most Arubans spoke pretty good English too, which helped them all navigate their various transactions.

That evening the three of them converged at their favourite beachfront restaurant and enjoyed yet another of many excellent meals. After his afternoon of all out exertion Mick went with the all-you-can-eat buffet and Len and Lisa opted for à la Carte. They enjoyed extra drinks and desserts and hung out well into the evening before finally returning to their rental apartments, which were a short walk from the beach.

They’d all gotten separate ones, because most of the rental apartments for tourists seemed to be one-bedrooms and, well, who knew when any one of them might need some privacy. Okay, so Mick needed privacy most nights and Len and Lisa also valued some time apart from each other so it was good they all had their own spaces. 

Len and Lisa’s apartments had an adjoining door though, so one of them usually wandered into the other’s apartment sometime in the morning and whoever felt like it made breakfast. Mick would wander over eventually and help eat it. 

Mick was a great cook but Len and Lisa were usually up before he was so he didn’t often make breakfast. He did make lunch a few times, but more often he handled dinner on the nights they didn’t eat out. 

The fact that each of their apartments was equipped with a small but well-appointed kitchen was very helpful. It meant they could splurge on restaurant meals when they felt like it but could otherwise eat more economically and they wouldn’t get tired of eating out. 

They were planning to stay awhile and Len didn’t like to go overboard in terms of spending. He also didn’t think it would be wise for them to come across as particularly wealthy tourists. They weren’t _trying_ to attract attention after all. 

That said, Len, Mick and Lisa had acquired a bit of a reputation among some of the local hotel staff and, for once in their lives, it wasn’t a bad one. 

They’d learned the first few mornings they went to the beach that some tourists just didn’t know the meaning of the words ‘sharing’ and ‘fairness’. They’d arrived, early enough, only to find all the empty palapa huts ‘reserved’ with towels and such, even though there were signs everywhere saying that the huts were public and could not be reserved. 

The palapa huts were broad umbrella like structures made of palm fronds that provided excellent shade throughout the day and peppered the beach along its entire length. There were plenty of them but still not enough for everyone who wanted one. They were supposed to be a ‘first come, first served’ kind of deal.

The first few mornings the resilient rogues braved the sun but when they noticed many of the ‘reserved’ huts weren’t even being used for hours on end, Len decided that was bullshit and, every morning since, he, Mick and Lisa had come to enjoy tossing all the various towels and other paraphernalia used to illegally ‘reserve’ spaces all over the beach. 

The local hotel and security staff who usually got all the complaints about the lack of available palapa huts absolutely loved it and the three rogues quickly became extremely popular with them. Some other tourists and locals who saw what they were doing were also very appreciative and occasionally they got applause. On one occasion they got a standing ovation.

Once or twice some selfish tourist who’d done the ‘reserving’ took issue with their towels ending up in the surf but a few pointed glares from Captain Cold, Golden Glider and Heatwave had them backing off smartly.

Lisa joked that they were finally letting their inner heroes show and Len didn’t even flinch or object to the comment too much. He wondered at how relaxed he must be not to be totally pissed off by that line of teasing. Their Caribbean vacation was proving to be exactly what the doctor ordered, it seemed. 

A month or so into their stay Len started to get a bit restless and researched places they could explore around the island. He quickly decided he’d like to spend some time looking around Arikok National Park. Lisa was gung-ho to join him but Mick wasn’t sure he wanted to spend time away from the ocean to see a bunch of ‘boring caves and shit’, as he put it.

In the end Mick decided to tag along, mostly he said because he missed being out on the open road on his motorcycle. So the three of them rode their rented bikes out to the park and spent the day exploring the local caves and some other points of interest.

Even Mick had to concede the caves were pretty spectacular inside, and Len was fascinated by the Indigenous art on the walls that was thousands of years old. Mick decided that some of the stalagmites and stalactites resembled flames, which had him grinning like a kid in a candy store.

As Len stood looking up at the light streaming in through the holes in the ceiling of Quadirikiri cave, Lisa approached him with a sparkle in her eye and a childlike smile on her face. 

“You love this place don’t you?”

Len turned to her and smirked. “It’s shady and cool and…interesting. You know me and nature and…me and history. What’s not to love?”

Lisa smirked. “You have to admit, Mick made a good choice picking our destination.”

“Yep. That he did.”

“What has you looking so…extra thoughtful?”

“Apart from all the _cool_ rock formations in here and the ancient paintings? Hmmm…not much.”

“Hmmmhmmm. Okay. You just looked like your mind was a thousand miles away there for a moment. You’re not homesick already are you?”

“No. Absolutely not.” Len paused, looking away then glancing back at his sister. “I was just wondering how our places are doing back in Central…but only in a ‘hoping everything’s okay there’ kind of way.”

“I see.” Lisa gave Len a look like she only half believed him. “We can check in with Hartley and Shawna, you know. They did agree to keep an eye on everything.”

“Sure, yeah, we should do that. I’ll email them when we get back tonight.”

Lisa knew her brother had had something else on his mind for a moment there and she even had an idea what…or who…it might be too but she wisely decided not to pursue the matter. Len didn’t keep much from her but when he really didn’t want to share something she knew better than to push him. He’d always come around and tell her the important things at some point anyway.

Len continued to wander around the caves enjoying the various colour gradations of the rocks, guessing which deposits likely contained precious minerals and estimating densities. He wasn’t really consciously trying to but his mind just automatically went there.

It was cool and quiet and he, Lisa and Mick were some of the only people there at the moment. He thought about coming back alone at some point, maybe even a few times, just to enjoy the solitude. It was peaceful and he felt content and grounded wandering around the various caverns.

His mind turned back to some of the things he’d been thinking about when he’d most recently been in prison; thoughts of his early childhood and all the might-have-beens, had it not been for the torturous road Lewis had dragged both him and Lisa down.

He found himself thinking of Barry and Team Flash and what meta-related mayhem might be going on in Central at the moment. Perhaps he’d ask Hartley and Shawna for some more general news from home as well when he emailed them later.

And, though he’d never admit it to anyone, he thought of Rowan, as he tended to do at least a few times a day while going about his currently very relaxed life. He’d often wonder what she’d think of where they were and the things they were seeing and doing and if she’d enjoy them in the same ways he did.

Len felt pretty sure Rowan would like the caves. He imagined she would appreciate their natural beauty and the serene quality of being underground but with windows to the outside world built into the ceiling like skylights. He even imagined discussing the cave paintings with her.

Len had to admit, as much as he was enjoying the break from Central, he did miss joking around with Rowan. Some days he’d think of some funny, cheeky thing he could say to her and wish she was there so he could get her reaction. 

He wasn’t sure if she was a swimmer or a beach person but he knew she liked to read so he figured she’d be able to tolerate at least some lying around at the beach if she absolutely had to. 

And, okay, he may have had a few more…farfetched thoughts of things they could get up to doing, if she was there. Every time Len had one of those thoughts he’d feel lighter, like life could be on the verge of getting better for him than he’d ever dreamed of. Then he’d jolt himself back down to earth, telling himself such thoughts were ridiculous and no matter what had happened between the two of them, imagining anything more intimate was just crazed wishful thinking on his part. 

Rowan was a genuinely good person. All teasing aside, she had been kind to Len and treated him better than most people ever had but that didn’t mean she would ever want to be physically close to a criminal with serious baggage like him. Sure they joked around but of course that’s all it was.

Still, as he continued to meander through the caves and then finally back outside to where Lisa and Mick were sitting on some rocks near their bikes, he wondered if he really should assume the worst. Maybe he shouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the chemistry he felt with Rowan. Maybe it did mean something…maybe it could lead somewhere. 

Lewis had trained him very well from an early age to think of himself as worthless and unlovable and he’d had to fight tooth and nail for every shred of self-esteem he’d ever developed. But he was free of his monster father now so he reflected that maybe he should work on freeing his mind of all the negative shit he’d had dumped on him for all those years. 

He indulged in imagining what it would be like if he came back to Aruba at another time in his life, maybe under different circumstances…maybe with another person.

Then, out of nowhere, he had a fleeting yet vivid image of himself, Mick, Lisa and Rowan on what seemed to be a pirate ship with the name ‘Rogue Legend’ etched into the side of it. Some of the other rogues were there too, along with some pretty funky looking strangers. They were all fighting alongside the local Indigenous people, icing, burning, gold encasing and physically taking down colonising conquistadors left, right and centre, helping to prevent them from decimating the peoples and cultures of the Caribbean and Americas. 

Len shook his head and took a deep breath. Maybe being underground had starved him for oxygen. What a weird fantasy to have! Clearly it really had been a long few months. Perhaps his mind had been affected by the stress more than he’d realised.

He didn’t usually indulge in fantasies of being a…goddamn hero, for crying out loud, even for such an undeniably good cause. He took another deep breath. He had to concede in his head that there was a time long ago, before his childhood innocence had been totally shattered, when such flights of fancy wouldn’t have irritated the hell out of him, but instead would have excited him. 

Who knew killing Lewis would be the thing that would reconnect Len to his memories of that innocence and his ability to imagine himself as something other than a master criminal, out only for himself. As he sat down on the rocks next to Lisa and Mick, he reflected that he wasn’t quite sure what to make of it all.

The three sat watching the ocean and chatting for a while before taking one last walk around the area and then getting on their bikes and riding back to town to be home in time for dinner. Len’s head was still in the clouds as he rode back but by the time they got settled at one of the cheaper places they’d found to eat he was more present.

Mick conceded that the day trip had been fun after all and promised Len he’d find something else enjoyable to do to pay him back for the idea. Len inwardly hoped Mick wouldn’t insist on them all going snorkelling together again because the last time they’d done that Mick had been impatient to go way deeper underwater and move along much more quickly than Len had wanted to and it had been super irritating.

Little did Len know that Mick had other plans for him _entirely_.

About a week after they’d visited the caves, Len was relaxing in his apartment taking a break from the beach, when he heard a knock at his door. Thinking it must be Mick, he got up to open it without too much thought. 

Looking through the peephole, however, he saw that it wasn’t Mick, but a woman that he didn’t recognise. Hesitantly, he opened the door.

“Hello Mr. Leonard. My name is Marisol. Mick sent me for you. He said you needed some fun in your life. I can help you with that.” She smiled somewhat suggestively. “He said you had all the money to pay though.”

Len stared down at the young woman in shock. He knew Mick thought he was in perpetual need of loosening up but he’d never pulled something quite like this before. He was at a momentary loss for words as Marisol stood smiling in the doorway, waiting for him to say something.

“Come in,” Len finally said, not because he actually wanted this stranger in his apartment but because he didn’t want anyone to see him talking to her at his door.

Marisol walked inside, a tad hesitantly Len thought, and glanced around, then looked up at Len again. Len closed the door and shook his head as he began to regain his focus.

He understood that Mick was just trying to do him a favour but Len had never paid for sex in his life and he wasn’t about to start doing it now. The woman before him, Marisol, was really beautiful, there was no question, but for Len that was about as irrelevant as anything possibly could be. He had just never had any interest in paid sex with total strangers, particularly because he felt it was ultimately just a financial transaction with health risks attached, physical and otherwise. 

As if he didn’t have enough to worry about.

Having fully regained his composure, Len met Marisol’s eyes. She was looking up at him expectantly, but with a hint of trepidation. ‘Smart,’ Len thought. He was, after all, a very dangerous man when he wanted to be, though never in a situation like this.

He didn’t want to disappoint Mick, or Marisol for that matter, so he quickly figured out what he needed to do. 

“How much for a whole weekend, everything standard included?”

Marisol’s eyes widened and she smiled, giving him the price. It actually seemed reasonable; not too low, which would seem to indicate she might be desperate, but not so high as to suggest she might be being squeezed by a particularly greedy pimp. 

Len knew there was some legal, regulated prostitution in Aruba but he didn’t know all the ins and outs of the scene. He was also aware there was plenty of sex trafficking alongside whatever legal stuff was going on. There was no way to be 100% certain if Marisol was a truly free agent or not so Len came to a quick decision.

He asked her to wait a moment and went to the safe in his bedroom, swiftly unlocking it and pulling out an impressive sheaf of bills, counting out what he needed and then relocking the safe soundlessly. He returned to the living room to find Marisol looking around curiously, still seeming a bit on edge to Len’s mind.

“Here. Go have yourself a good weekend. Take a break or…do whatever you want. Just don’t tell anyone about this, especially Mick. Unfortunately, I can’t afford to give everyone a freebie so…just do me a favour and make sure I’m not disturbed by any of your colleagues...insofar as you can. If you see Mick tell him we had a great time.”

Len had doubled the amount Marisol had quoted him, just in case some asshole _was_ using her for their own enrichment. Len hoped she would at least get to keep half of what he’d given her, which was not a bad take for a weekend’s worth of work…or not work as the case may be.

Marisol’s eyes widened again as she examined the wad of bills Len had given her. Normally he wouldn’t have had so much cash on him at one time but he liked to be prepared for emergencies when he travelled so they had both lucked out in the end.

“I don’t…are you sure that’s what you want Mr. Leonard? Your friend said you needed some fun and not to let you…weasel your way out of it? I think that’s what he said.”

Len smiled slightly in spite of himself. “Mick means well but he doesn’t get to decide what I need. Understand?”

“Yes…I understand. Thank you.” She looked down, then up at Len again and nodded. “I’ll go now.” Marisol turned to leave and walked to the door. She opened it and then paused, turning around while smiling broadly.

“You know, you scared me more than any other American man I’ve seen around here before. I was afraid to come but Mick scared me too at first and he turned out to be all right so…I came. But now I see you are the nicest American man. Bye bye Mr. Leonard. Enjoy your stay here!”

Len exhaled as she closed the door. In that moment he realised she was likely younger than she looked, just by the way she had said those last few words to him. He was extra glad he’d given the whole thing a pass.

Len had gotten where he was in terms of financial security through diligent budgeting, and he wasn’t about to throw those good habits away now. Still, his financial discipline meant that he could and did splurge when necessary to accomplish something that was important to him, and there wasn’t anything more important to him at that moment than his privacy.

He sighed and walked to the fridge to get a drink. Sometimes he couldn’t help but be amazed at how long he and Mick had managed to be partners considering how different they were in some ways.

Len thought back to the end of their first week on the island, when the rogues had experienced the rather impressive festive atmosphere of New Year’s Eve on Aruba. The view from the roof of one of the beachfront parking garages had been incredible, the countless fireworks displays lighting up the entire island!

The three of them had eventually made their way to a secluded area of the beach where Mick had shot his heat gun into the air to add to the lights display. They all wondered if the flames would be visible all over the island and if they would cause revellers to wonder what kind of ‘fireworks’ were causing them.

All three had taken apart their signature weapons and smuggled them into the country, just in case. Who knew, after all, when they might be needed or come in handy? Clearly it had been the right call because that New Year’s Eve was one of the most fun they’d ever had.

Len reflected that that was the first night Mick seemed to delve into the Aruban nightlife in a serious way and he’d been making the most of it ever since.

Mick never seemed to have any problems with buying sex, though thankfully he did seem to have some sort of knack for figuring out when the participants were genuinely willing or not. Which was good because Len would have had a serious problem with Mick if he was going around recklessly buying sex from trafficked people.

Mick could be a scary guy at times but even he had no patience for the idea of forcing or coercing anyone into the sex trade. Len was pretty sure Marisol wasn’t one of the worst off members of the industry because Mick wouldn’t ever go for that. Still, he would never be fully comfortable with the idea of buying sex from someone whose circumstances he didn’t know or couldn’t verify first-hand; not that he was into it in general anyway.

Some piece of shit asshole had tried to lure Lisa into sex slavery when she was a lonely and somewhat lost teenager with serious self-esteem issues. Len and Mick had beaten the fucker to a pulp and that was the last they ever saw of his waste of skin ass but Len knew there were plenty of other predators out there preying on the vulnerable and it pissed him off all they got away with.

Funny how the do-gooder hero types never seemed to be focusing on taking down those kinds of criminals. Too complicated…or maybe too dangerous, Len guessed. Then a more cynical thought came to him that perhaps there wouldn’t be as much glory in taking out a network of traffickers as there was in taking down the latest larger-than-life meta or super villain.

Len remembered something just then. Perhaps he was being a tad too harsh. He suddenly snapped out of his musings and realised he’d better lay low for the weekend or Mick would figure out he’d bailed on the whole ‘hired fun’ idea. He promptly went to his door and hung a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign outside. Then he knocked on Lisa’s door to see if she’d agree to help cover for him with Mick.

Lisa laughed so hard when Len told her what Mick had done and then what he’d subsequently done to get out of the whole thing that Len was actually concerned for a moment she might hurt herself. Instead she just ended up with persistent hiccoughs and eventually managed to stop laughing long enough to agree to help keep Mick occupied for the weekend and away from him.

When he got back to his apartment Len couldn’t help but feel like, at his age, this whole type of scenario should somehow not be part of his life. He loved his sister more than anything in the world and deep down he cared a lot about Mick too; always had, ever since Mick had saved his life in juvie.

Every now and then though, especially as the weeks of their vacation rolled by, Len found himself craving the company of another adult with similar interests. Someone he could talk to about what he was reading, his thoughts on social issues or, well, anything other than the next heist or how annoying the Flash could be. Those were fun things to talk about no question but…sometimes Len just felt it would be nice to have a confidante who understood him on a few other levels as well.

Thankfully, Lisa did come through and she and Len managed to convince Mick he’d spent the weekend with Marisol and all went on smoothly after that. Len thanked Mick for the ‘great idea’ he’d had, assuring him he could take care of his own ‘fun’ in future. Mick seemed to accept that with no qualms.

“No problem buddy. You just need a little push now and then but I’ll leave you to fend for yourself from here on in. Ya gotta spread your own wings at some point.” Mick chuckled and clapped Len on the back, a bit harder than Len would have appreciated.

Lisa started giggling which caused Mick to send her a quizzical glance but Len just regained his balance, nodded and said, “Fair enough.” Lisa tried to stifle her giggles and Len shot her a warning glare to get it together before Mick got suspicious. She managed to quell her merriment and the three moved on to discussing other things, much to Len’s relief.

As the weeks and months passed Len continued to feel like he was coming to a new and more relaxed state of being. He found himself feeling better about the person he’d become, as he considered many of the decisions he’d made in his life from a new perspective. He still had some pretty profound, unsalvageable regrets but he also came to accept that he really had done an awful lot of things in his life because he’d had to...or he’d felt he’d had to at the time to avoid even worse outcomes for himself and others.

He, Mick and Lisa took to their own devices a fair amount during the weeks after the Marisol incident, but they would often regroup to do something fun together when they felt like it. They took up paragliding at some point in April and, after the first few tries, all of them were flying around like pros and enjoying the hell out of every second of it.

Len wondered if the sensation of gliding above the land and water was anything similar to what some of the new metas who could move and travel in extraordinary ways felt, due to their powers. He still wouldn’t mind having some meta powers of his own but he’d mostly reconciled to not ever getting any. It wasn’t so bad being a master thief, criminal ringleader and cunning super villain all on his own steam, with the help of his cold gun that is.

Lisa fell in with a local artists’ collective sometime in March and discovered she actually had a real creative bent she’d never been aware of before. She experimented with painting in watercolours and acrylic, as well as pottery and woodworking but found she really had a passion for glass blowing and metal work. She made some pretty impressive pieces for a beginner and resolved she’d continue her artistic pursuits wherever she found herself living from now on.

By the beginning of June all three rogues started to betray signs of being ready to return home to Central and they agreed mid-month that they’d enjoy a couple more weeks on the island and then call it a vacation. 

Len felt he would actually miss some of the routines he’d become accustomed to, and, damn! even the weather to some extent...but otherwise he was restless to get back to his regular life and work out how he wanted to play things from now on.

The break had been restorative for all of them and had given Len ample time to catch up with Lisa and reflect on himself and his life. He had decided that he would probably never give up thieving and was eager to jump back in the game by planning something truly challenging soon after getting home. Still, he had a few ideas on how to alter the play and was curious how it would all work out.

Hell, he even found himself looking forward to sparring with the Flash again. He resolved that he’d take more time to enjoy the banter and messing with the kid this time around…in other words, the truly important things in life. 

Yes, banter and messing with the do-gooder types. On the flight back to the States, Len could barely contain his excitement as he anticipated jumping back into the fun of it all. 

He wondered if a certain fradversary had missed him as much as he’d missed her.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments welcome, respectfulness very much appreciated. (:


End file.
